She did not understand why she was feeling this way.
All she knew was that the thought of Long Yifan giving up made her feel something close to fear.
A part of her wanted to shout at him, to tell him that the person he had hurt could never forgive him.
That she was petty and that her grudges were real and deep.
But another part of her wanted to scream for a completely different reason... because she did not want him to give up. Because if he walked away now, she was not sure if her heart could bear it.
Before she could say anything, Long Yifan continued to speak; his deep voice was filled with heartache.
"I don’t need your forgiveness anymore," he said.
"I will use my entire life to make up for the pain I caused you. If that is not enough, then take everything I have...because now, I truly cannot hold anything back anymore."
Hearing those words, Gu Jin’s hands curled into tight fists.
She lowered her gaze and stayed silent for a moment, lost in thought.
Almost two years had passed since Long Yifan had learned who she really was. Two years since the day everything changed.
She thought about the nights she had yearned for his love and was consumed with darkness.
She thought about how much she had suffered because of him. Then she slowly looked up at him again and sighed.
"I... I don’t know how to explain my feelings to you," she said honestly.
"What do you mean?" Long Yifan asked softly, stepping closer to her.
"Whenever I try to forgive you, I can’t forget those memories," Gu Jin admitted. "They always come back, and I hate them."
Long Yifan let out a small chuckle, but there was no joy in it.
"I don’t want you to forget," he said.
Gu Jin stared at him in surprise. "What... what do you mean by that?"
"I used to think," he explained slowly, "that if I could just get your forgiveness, everything would go back to how it was. That we could forget the past and start over. But I was wrong. It’s not the memories that are standing between us. It’s my behavior back then. The way I treated you. That is what still makes you doubt me."
Gu Jin’s lips parted slightly, and she stared at him silently. He was right. Deep down, she knew he was right.
"I..." she whispered, "I think I’m scared."
"Scared?" Long Yifan asked gently.
"Yes," she said quietly. "Five years ago, when you didn’t know who I really was, you were cold and cruel. And now that you know my identity, you treat me like I’m precious. I’m scared that if my identity is ever taken away, you won’t love me anymore."
Long Yifan’s eyes softened, and he reached out, gently brushing his fingers against her cheek.
This was a good beginning. At least Gu Jin was willing to tell him things that were haunting her.
"I understand," he said softly. "But Jin’er, you must believe me when I say this: my love was never tied to your identity. It’s tied to you, the person who makes my heart beat, the one I cannot stop thinking about."
He stepped closer and looked deeply into her eyes.
"Sometimes," he continued, "some memories should never be forgotten. They are painful, but they remind us of what we did wrong. I don’t want you to erase them. I don’t want you to pretend they never happened. I only want a place in your life, even if that place is small and full of complaints and angry memories."
Then, without waiting for her reply, he pulled her into a soft embrace.
"A long time has passed," he whispered. "And who knows how much time we have left? Let’s not waste it fighting the past. Let me stay by your side. I will spend my whole life begging for forgiveness if I must, and you can still enjoy my love while I do it."
Gu Jin floated slightly in the water.
Something about his words touched her heart deeply. Maybe, just maybe, his suggestion wasn’t bad.
After a long pause, she finally spoke.
"Even though I want to accept you... my heart has melted a little. But what about the time you made me suffer?"
Long Yifan smiled bitterly.
"Then I will suffer too," he said firmly.
"For two years, ten years, or however long you want. My only request is that you give me a place in your life. I know that even though we are engaged, you haven’t given me any rights as your fiancé. But I want nothing more than a small chance."
Gu Jin sighed and looked away for a moment before speaking again. "Then... I am ready to give you a small place."
Long Yifan’s eyes widened in shock. Then his face broke into a wide smile, and he immediately hugged her tightly.
"Thank you," he whispered, his voice full of emotion.
His ecstasy couldn’t be contained anymore.
He could express his joy in words.
’She agreed! She agreed!’ He thought in his heart.
After repeated apologies, after repeated efforts, at least he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes it isn’t the goal that keeps a person alive... It’s the hope. Hope that everything will get better. And now... Long Yifan finally felt that hope.
Before she could react, he leaned in and kissed her passionately again. His lips were hungry, desperate, but gentle all at once.
Gu Jin’s heart raced, and for a moment, she found herself responding to the kiss.
Slowly, she felt his warm hand roaming around her waist, caressing it gently, a jolt of electricity rushing in her spine, making her toes curl.
Once the kiss was over, he started to smother her face with small pecks, as if he were some kind of dog, excited to have its owner’s attention.
But as his lips started to move lower, she suddenly came back to her senses.
"Stop!" she said quickly, pushing him away. "I only gave you a little place. That doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want!"
This guy! She had only given him an inch, and now he was asking for a damn mile!
Long Yifan sighed dramatically.
"Then at least give me permission until your collarbone," he said, trying to sound innocent.
Gu Jin’s eyes widened. "What kind of shameless way is that to ask for intimacy?" she shouted, her cheeks turning bright red.
Long Yifan laughed and shrugged.
"I’m starving, Jin’er. Do you know how it feels? I might as well have purple balls by now!"
"Shameless!" Gu Jin snapped, clenching her fists in anger. But even as she glared at him, her face turned redder.
Long Yifan suddenly hugged her again, and she felt something pressing against her lower abdomen. Her eyes widened as she realized what it was.
"Are you serious right now?" she asked coldly.
Long Yifan leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Why are you getting angry, wifey? I’m showing you your achievement; shouldn’t you feel smug?"
His deep voice continued to linger near her ears.
"It’s been so long since I had any relief. Why don’t you help me out?"
Gu Jin calmly pushed him away. "Forget it. We should cultivate now," she said firmly.
Long Yifan sighed and stared at her smooth, pale skin, his eyes filled with longing.
His lower body protested, but he forced himself to control his urges.
"Darling... it hurts."
Gu Jin’s entire face turned crimson hearing his whine, yet she gritted her teeth and warned, "If you don’t stop now, forget about the chance." ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ Nove1Fire.net
That did the trick; the coquettish Long Yifan came back to his senses immediately, as bitterness appeared in his eyes.
Why did he even have the illusion that chasing Gu Jin now would be a bit easy?
’Anyhow, something is better than nothing. And I have already eaten my fill today. There will also be a chance to sneak in some extra benefits later on.’
"You’re right," he murmured. "Cultivation first."
And so, they focused on their training. Days turned into weeks.
They meditated, absorbed the energy from the pool, ate a little when necessary, and continued without rest.
Gu Jin’s power grew steadily. She reached the Heaven Rank’s tier 3 and reached Transcendental Stage 1... then Stage 2... and then Stage 3. Slowly, she pushed through each level until she reached Stage 7.
Long Yifan’s growth was even faster. Already at Transcendental Stage 3, he soared through the ranks until he reached Stage 10.
His shamelessness was in sync with his cultivation progress. Rising leaps and bounds within just a few weeks.
At first, he only sneaked a few kisses and held Gu Jin for 5 minutes or so.
However, on the fifth day, while cultivating, holding Gu Jin, he noticed something strange.
"Jin’er, don’t you think that our absorption rate of mana increases as long as we hold each other?"