Just as I was about to sit down in my usual place, Nero cleared his throat and pushed the chair that Camilla usually sat on for me. Without questioning it, I walked around the long table and settled into the chair. As always, Nero sat at the head end, now to my right. "Camilla won't be eating with us anymore, so don't worry." He smiled and spread a napkin on his lap.
So it was that easy for him to exclude her, to replace her, and not even a look of regret crossed his flawless face. "Good morning," Damien's voice suddenly sounded, giving me goosebumps as always, and when he then sat down right next to me, his scent, a mixture of perfume and forest, fell directly into my nostrils.
I didn't look at him, although I felt his eyes on me, making me nervous and making my heart skip a beat. Same feeling as Calvin did when I was promised to him, only it was different because I was attached to Damien before I even knew him, whether I wanted to or not. My eyes fell from my plate to Nero, who eyed us both satisfied and sipped his coffee with relish.
Not everyone you fight is your enemy...
Camilla's words echoed softly in my head, wafted about, and made me suspicious of the king who promised so much and demanded so much of me. Before anyone could break the silence, several clerks came through the door with full platters.
As the food was placed on the table by them, the bald guy I knew looked at me in confusion and frowned his sweating brow. At least his puzzled face brought a smile to my face over this oddly depressing breakfast, and I didn't mind that Damien growled softly next to me as I grinned at the human. He put down the last plate, shook his head, and disappeared just as quickly as he had come.
"Why were you looking at him like that?" Damien growled, suddenly taking my hand much too tightly in his. Not even marked and he said he had to control every step I took. Now I wasn't even allowed to grin at a fat bald guy without giving an explanation. But I loved to provoke, part of me lived for it, much to the annoyance of Saphir, who didn't exactly find it funny when I teased Damien. "I think he's cute, there's something magical about the bald head." I blinked at him and snatched my hand from him with a smile. I didn't care if he would smack him for it. The guy had given Emma a black eye. A damper would certainly not hurt him.
Damien stared at me like little birds were buzzing around my head. It was probably nagging at his confidence that I didn't pay him any attention while I flashed my best smile to someone who wasn't that great looking. Inside, I was pleased to trigger this anger in him, to get emotion from his otherwise indifferent face, but on the other hand I didn't want any attention from him at all.
I then devoted myself to my food without paying attention to the two. Half listening to the men chatting about the market and the weather, preferring to get lost in my daydreams of just me and freedom. "So what do you say?" Damien took my hand again, this time gently, which left me speechless for a moment. I looked at him questioningly with wide eyes. He just smiled, probably noticing my mental absence. "I suggested showing you our library, if you'd like," he repeated.
I looked down at our hands as his encased mine. It felt good, somehow familiar, like they always belonged together. I looked again into his brown eyes, which sparkled excitedly, pulling me in and washing me out to sea. With his power of attraction, he left me no chance of ever reaching the beach again. "I'd rather stretch my legs outside, books aren't really my thing," I stuttered back, avoiding his mesmerizing gaze and taking my sweaty hand from his. Distracted myself from his effect on me by watching Nero adjust his suit and remove the crumbs that had fallen on it.
"Then what's your interest?" he pulled me back towards him by the chin, showing his superiority by not giving me the slightest evasion. "I love painting, and now excuse me." Panicked, I took his hand and carefully removed it from my chin, got up quickly and left the room to escape to the fresh air and collect myself briefly.
Arriving at the stairs, I took a deep breath and leaned against the railing to watch the hustle and bustle on the square, until suddenly a hand laid on my shoulder and made me wince. Nero stood next to me, head held high, leaning on the railing with his arms like I did. "He's not easy. I know that, but he's a good guy. He never had a mother and Camilla just taught him... oh what am I talking about. She didn't really teach him anything about women.", laughed he got up and looked at me in amusement. I didn't feel like joining in his laughter at all. Everything here was too much for me at the moment, but I still had one question. "Where's Camilla now anyway? And why can't she eat with us anymore? Isn't it the law
He turned his body towards me, ran his fingers through his hair and suddenly looked at me seriously. "Yes, you're absolutely right about that. But he never wanted Camilla as a partner. He had her as a means to an end, if you know what I mean." I didn't understand anything, just looked at him in confusion. "For kids, if his mate doesn't show up. He's got to continue our line." "So he took advantage of her!?" I said angrily, staring down at the yard again. "You don't understand. Camilla took advantage of him as well. Do you really think there are true feelings between wolves that aren't meant to be? We can't really love, we're meant to take what's meant to be."
I smiled and turned to him, shaking my head in disbelief. "You only say that because you have no idea about love. For you, the connection is the most important thing, the continuation of your line. I know love. I've felt it before, and nobody will ever be able to persuade me again, that they don't exist."
He looked at me in disbelief as I suddenly felt warm tears on my cheeks. They came without warning, just poured down my face. Ashamed of showing weakness in front of him, I brushed them away with my sleeve and walked past him back into the castle. The main thing was to get away from him and his stupid talk about obligations and regulations that I couldn't take any longer.