Celeste hugged her knees and curled up in bed. Angry and frustrated tears pricked the corner of her eyes.
She was annoyed with Alden.
Why couldn't he let her heal his eye…?
Most of all, though, Celeste was annoyed at herself.
For spending so much time on a now fruitless endeavour. The past week, she had cut down on food, sleep… anything that got in the way of her goal. Of seeing her love healthy and whole again. And while it wasn't all bad - she had worked on helping Ignia exit her comatose state on the side, thanks to advice from the Ember Heir and her father - the fact that she had poured everything she had, only to be met with rejection, stung.
The sense of frustration Celeste felt increased.
She squeezed her pillow, hoping that action could help her vent.
[Are you affected by that young man again? I told you to ignore him. He will only hinder your growth.]
Celeste exhaled a slow, turbid breath. She didn't let the surprise at her Sponsor's sudden appearance show on her face. Her body gradually relaxed - the pillow finally receiving some reprieve.
She sat up and leaned on the headboard, closing her eyes.
'Why will he hinder my growth? I love him.'
For the first time, Celeste thought she heard a hint of condescension in her Sponsor's tone. The Asteron seemed to sneer at the idea of love.
[Forget about that. How is your progress with the blessing I gave you?]
'I'm about three-quarters of the way there.'
[Good. Keep working on it.]
With that, her Sponsor left as quickly as they had appeared. Celeste exhaled and rubbed her face. She felt the bags under her eyes keenly. The exhaustion in her bones quietly sapped her strength.
She reflexively activated her Magic Class. Her skin glowed briefly.
Then, Celeste's shoulders sagged as she endured the drawback of straining the first stage of her Magic Class. This simple but handy ability allowed her to increase her body's natural recovery rate. It was how she could stay awake for so long without wasting precious hours sleeping.
If not for that ability, she wouldn't have been able to make so much progress. Celeste also had her Sponsor to thank. Their blessing synchronised perfectly with the second facet of her Magic Class - [Life's Embrace].
…Or rather, it was more accurate to say that the Asteron perfectly fit her.
The blessing gave her access to a portion of the otherworldly being's almost endless reservoir of knowledge. Part of the reason she felt confident in healing Alden's eye was due to this. The other part had to do with what she had unlocked after her breakthrough while trying to save her love's life back during the invasion - the ability for her life energy to penetrate deeper places within the human body, thus allowing her to treat more complex injuries.
Overall, it was a great boon.
She was very glad to have the support of her sponsor, even though the mysterious being seemed to detest the idea of her loving Al.
It seemed… they valued power and strength above all else.
Perhaps they were right. After all, her Sponsor was a Divine Sovereign - an existence at the very pinnacle. Surely they knew a thing or two about life, having doubtless experienced many millennia.
Celeste bit her lips, hesitation rising within her.
Should she pour more effort into gaining more power?
Or should she pour more effort into Al?
…Once again, both her heart and mind were at odds.
Just then, a knock on the door resounded. Celeste snapped her gaze towards the egress. She wrestled with herself for a moment, before finally relenting.
Slowly, she watched as the door opened and her precious love took a half-step into the room.
Celeste stared at him, suppressing the urge to press her lips into a thin line.
Eventually, after a bit of lingering, she nodded and sighed.
Shifting into a more comfortable cross-legged position, she turned to face Alden, who sat on the chair beside her desk. Celeste couldn't help but recall the moment that Al had confessed. Back then, he had sat on her bed, the distance between them very close.
…Now, it had widened.
Celeste had no idea how to bridge that distance. No matter how much she had tried to close that gap, he always kept her an arm's length away.
She struggled to understand why.
What had he experienced that she didn't know about?
As she scrutinised his features more closely, Celeste realised the bright and warm Alden she knew was gone.
…He was colder now, too.
That included both his appearance and the aura he emitted. She almost didn't recognise this new version of her precious love.
The look in Alden's eyes - while gentle - belied a deep pain, and a glimpse into the different hells he had experienced. Celeste mourned the loss of the Al she knew. The one not scarred by the trials of life. Still, she planned to accept her love the way he was.
Wasn't that what it meant to love?
She sighed, snapping out of her thoughts. Celeste schooled her face into a neutral expression, waiting for Alden to begin.
He seemed to hesitate.
The way he wrung his hands… it was as if he was mustering the courage to say something important.
Celeste frowned slightly.
'What's taking him so long?'
She assumed he had come up to her room to apologise.
Surely, it wasn't that hard… was it?
A sense of unease pricked Celeste's heart.
She fidgeted impatiently.
Suppressing her desire to tell Alden to hurry up, she gazed into his eyes.
…Those captivating crimson orbs.
Alden took a deep breath.
Then, he spoke, sending Celeste's world crashing down.
"I think we should take a break… from us."
Her mouth hung open in pure disbelief. An expression of shock and surprise flashed across her pastel features. Then, as she comprehended his words, a sharp pang rose and surfaced in her heart.
A heavy weight pressed on Celeste's chest.
…And blinked even more.
Her reality was still the same.
Closing her eyes, Celeste took a deep, shuddering breath and forcefully composed herself.
She would not show how hurt she was.
…She just wanted to know why.
It took everything she had not to let her voice tremble.
Alden's tone softened in response, the words as quiet as a whisper.
"Because I have not loved you properly."
Her heart stung with that painful declaration.
She heard Alden sigh.
"Cece, I need to love myself before I can love you. And that… that is going to take a while. It will be a long road. How, long, exactly? I don't know. And I also can't guarantee that I'll ever be able to accept myself. It's not fair for you to suffer. I'm sorry."
The young lady took another long, deep breath to douse the fire raging in her heart.
She opened her eyes, glancing cooly at Alden.
"And how is it any fair if you decide that for me?"
Seeing him stumped, Celeste continued, her voice terrifyingly calm.
"Since you've made your choice, I won't stop you. "We" will be no more. Good luck finding yourself. Now, if you will kindly leave so I can get some sleep, that would be very much appreciated."
She hated how cold she sounded, but there was no other way.
Alden nodded, expression neutral.
However, she could tell that was merely a facade… his gaze contained a myriad of different emotions: resignation, doubt, fear, hurt, pain. Celeste blocked all that out and pulled herself under the covers, not waiting to see if Alden left.
She bit her lips, desperately trying to prevent the deluge that threatened to escape her.
The choice had been made for her.
She would strive for more power.
…She would be fine, too.