I shrugged unknowingly and carefully sat down on the bed, then pulled the covers up under my nose.
"You pick something," I half murmured into the blanket. "But nothing with weapons!" I added quickly, which made him nod and open the dresser.
He put on some film, then turned off the big light and sat down on the floor right next to me with his arm resting on the bed right next to me.
My eyes darted from his tattooed arm back to the television, but they didn't stay there long as I kept glancing at him. He seemed to be breathing very calmly and was staring at the TV the whole time, while I suddenly caught his smell and it gave me goosebumps all over my body.
This scent was undefinable. It wasn't perfume, it wasn't a sweet scent like Esteban wore. It was something completely different, almost like a freshly washed dog, but it just smelled so good I thought I was going to get addicted.
Frowning and overwhelmed with my own feelings, I glanced over at him again, and then when he met my gaze and smiled gently, I pulled the covers off my mouth.
"Do you happen to have a dog?"
He grinned and suddenly for the first time I noticed the lovely dimples that were forming on his cheeks.
"No," he smirked, then raised an eyebrow. "How come?"
"Just like that," I mumbled, looking thoughtfully at the TV again.
I couldn't really tell him that he smelled like a dog, so I focused on the black and white flicker and then after a moment felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier. I tried with all my might to keep myself awake and shook my head slightly, but at some point I only felt Reahlyn lightly stroking my cheek and simply drifted away under his gentle touch without being able to do anything about it.
And for the first time in a long time, there were no nightmares, no worries, no scares and no fears...
I just felt safe, even though he wasn't even lying next to me.
The little light that came through one of the small windows woke me from my unusually deep sleep. Again and again I slowly opened my heavy eyelids to get used to the light, until suddenly, looking at the television, I realized that I wasn't at home.
But there was something else that struck me right away, because I had felt completely recovered for a long time and wasn't sweaty or out of breath like I normally woke up.
With a smile on my face, I turned sideways and looked straight at Reahlyn, who was just stretching with his back to me. Even this one was full of tattoos.
Lots of fine lines running across his skin and still half asleep, I thought I saw a wolf's head in the midst of all the chaos, which I found somehow beautiful.
"Good morning," he said softly and turned to me while I slowly raised my upper body and stretched myself.
"Good morning to you too," I replied in a friendly manner and was about to get up, but then he placed himself right in front of me, so that I looked up at him questioningly.
"Stay with me please," he whispered, crouching in front of me so that his face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I know you don't know me, and that was a long night last night, and I know how uncomfortable you are for sure, but I wanted-"
"I didn't plan on leaving right away," I interrupted him softly and immediately saw a bright twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes.
When you got lost in her depths, you couldn't even imagine that this man had any other side than this loving one.
But it was like that and despite these dark memories I wanted to stay with him a little longer. Escape my life for at least a few more hours and it was just wonderful to dive into this silence of the forest.
"I'm glad about that," he smiled and took my hand in his, which made me startle a little again. Immediately after my gesture, his eyes became wistful. One could almost have thought that he would suffer with me.
"It's absolutely cruel that a woman like you flinches under such harmless touch," he whispered, looking at me sympathetically while his fingers intertwined with mine and I could do nothing but savor the feeling.
It was like being trapped in a dream. A beautiful dream that washed away all the bad stuff like my shitty past never existed...
"Would you like something to eat?" he then asked quietly, to which I nodded in agreement, but I wanted to say no, because with my silent "yes," he rose and left my hand alone.
And then I remembered why I didn't like being close...
Because the nicer it felt, the more it could hurt you. The more secure you felt, the more lonely you could be left behind and no matter how good something seemed to you, it could suddenly be taken away from you in one fell swoop...
Inwardly, I cursed myself for coming here in the first place, because if I already missed the way he held my hand, then I would surely soon become dependent on his proximity and there was no way I could let that happen.
No man will ever stay with you. Once they've taken what they needed, they'll leave you alone...
My stepfather's words kept creeping into my mind like a virus, and it was only with difficulty that I managed not to go completely insane.
When Reahlyn held the door open for me, I pushed away all the negativity, got up hesitantly and took the few steps towards him. All of a sudden, all I felt was discomfort, especially because his eyes were looking at me with a love I couldn't explain to myself.
No one had ever looked at me like that before...
"Wait," he said suddenly when I stopped right in front of him and took a thick, yellow sweater from the small closet behind me. "Put that on. It can get pretty cold here."
I took the sweater with a grateful look in his eyes and felt cared for and restricted, safe and overwhelmed, loved and yet there was this self-hatred that was destroying everything in me, as if I didn't deserve this generosity and had to defend myself against it .
"Thank you," I breathed softly and he stroked my cheeks with a satisfied smile before I put on the yellow piece and left the hut ahead of him.
In the light it seemed even more peaceful here than at night. The fire had gone out, but smoke was still rising. In the distance I heard children laughing and also saw some women and men standing at the other log cabins, all of whom eyed me curiously while talking quietly.
It almost felt like a holiday resort in the middle of the forest, away from any civilization and yet everything you needed to live was apparently right here.
A big patch of bliss in the middle of this freezing, foggy forest.
It felt so unreal...
"Love?" I then heard Reahlyn close to me and looked at him questioningly. "We have to go that way," he smiled and I noticed for the first time that my feet automatically carried me in the direction of his motorcycle.
"Oh, okay," I replied, kind of lost, but he didn't give me time to think about why my subconscious was taking me away from here, because he took my hand tightly in his and walked by my side as if he were loyal to me .
It felt unfamiliar, but I didn't have the strength to worry about what I deserved and didn't, so I just did what I needed to do in the moment.
I snuggled my head against his arm, took a deep breath and enjoyed the feeling of togetherness.
I would be snatched from her again soon enough....
Together, hand in hand, we strolled towards the largest wooden hut and I was amazed when I stepped inside at how inviting everything seemed.
It was a huge open space containing a large dark wood table and an open gray kitchen.
"Love, this is my mum, Evelyn," Reahlyn suddenly introduced me to a beautiful woman I hadn't even considered before. She was standing next to us at the door, just like him, she had those bright blue eyes and incredibly beautiful black hair. She looked flawless, just like Reahlyn.
"Hello love, it's nice to finally meet you," she beamed, offering me her hand while I frowned at the man next to me and wondered why she was speaking like she'd been waiting for me for ages.
"Is that her?", I suddenly heard a child's voice and was instantly jumped by a cute girl who didn't fit in at all with the rest with her blond hair and green eyes.
"Yes Maisie, that's her," Reahlyn's mother replied, tears in her eyes as she took her son's hand, who was looking at me with as much pride as she was.
"You really are prettier than all the light in the world," giggled the girl in my arms, nudging my nose with her finger. "Are you going to move in with my brother now? That would be sooo great," she added, but I suddenly had no air in my lungs to answer. I kept parting my lips, looking back and forth between the three of them completely overwhelmed, and then put the little girl down, who immediately pouted at me with her arms crossed.
"I..." I started but immediately lost the thread again. My gaze met Reahlyn's and I didn't even know who he was. After what happened here, he really could be a dangerous stalker, or even the leader of a crazy cult...
"I have to go home, sorry," I reeled out the words quietly and then quickly turned back to the door to walk quickly across the large meadow.
"Love, wait," I heard Reahlyn's voice behind me, but that only made me even pick up my pace until he suddenly grabbed my arm and forced me to stop. "Listen to me," he pleaded, but I shook my head and pressed my index finger against his chest.
"I have no idea what the sick shit is going on, I don't care either! I just want to go home right now!" I hissed furiously, although the anger was more directed at myself, feeling so safe with a total stranger to have.