This takes place after Xiao and Henriette’s first meeting in chapter 37
The smoke is lazily curling in a spiral around his long, gentle fingers. Then it’s wrapping them in its blue cloud only to dissolve into the air a few seconds later when he exhales and his breath destroys the dancing shapes.
It vanishes.
The way he always does, always coming and going.
He looks troubled and fails to conceal it this time. I can’t tell why.
And normally I’m very good at telling what’s going on in someone’s head. He looks at me and it’s like he wants to ask me something, but doesn’t know how to turn his thoughts into words and voice them.
One of Ella’s girls sits next to Xiao and runs her hand over his back.
He ignores her and looks back at the table.
Albert and him have been playing for the past half an hour in silence and it’s one of the rare cases they seem to be completely lost to just everything surrounding them.
I oftentimes think they arrange to meet here and play only to escape the rest of the world. They would stay quiet, their eyes fixed on the board and the black and white stones lined on it.
There’s no before or after. It’s only a game they both have to play without asking why.
Go is just like any other game and what games teach is that there’s no such thins as equal start because you don’t know what experience the other person has and that it’s not always the better man that wins.
You just have to play and see. And if you’re lucky, you’ll see the game through the end.
Albert takes a drag and moves a black piece.
He never smokes unless he’s troubled.
Never.
Xiao doesn’t react to the move, although it means he’s winning which means his mind is elsewhere too.
Albert leaves his unfinished cigar in the cheap ashtray and pulls away from the table.
The girl looks at him but he doesn’t notice her watching him as he gets up to leave.
“I’ll see you. Same time, next week. “
“You too, Red. “
They exchange a nod and his dark, tall shape disappears through the small door of the backroom.
The girl exhales.
“He’ll never even notice me. “
“Frankly, my dear, there’s nothing about you worth noticing. “
“You’re just envious, Ophaelia. “
Dear me, not this again.
“Even I haven’t stooped so low as to be envious of you. Speaking of low, aren’t you supposed ot be sucking cocks for pennies somewhere?”
“I thought that’s what you do. “
“No, I do it because I like it. You tell me which is worse. “
She says something and gets up. Even if she doesn’t want to admit it, she is now probably going to have to do what she gets paid for.
Xiao keeps staring at the stones silently.
“At least you can spare me from having to pick your mind. “
“Whose else have you been trying to. “
I shake my head “He’s never really going to tell me what his real name is, is he?. “
Xiao laughs “You know enough about him, names are just names. “
“Are they really? Or it’s all about that, whose name we carry?”
Xiao doesn’t answer me and I say
“He seems…disturbed. Do you think it’s because of that big guy he brought with him that time?”
“I hope to God not. “ He said and began picking the pieces back in the small wooden box.
“Why the frown?”
“Because those never end well.“
“But they rarely do for people in general, let alone for people like us. “
“It’s not that. “
“Then what is it?”
He folds the board and says “It’s because violent desires have violent ends. “
“Quoting Shakespeare, my dear. That’s sounds more like me. “
“Yet most of us will eventually end up like his characters, won’t we? What’s more dangerous is we act upon those desires with the clear mind the outcome will be disastrous.”
I smile sadly at him and at the reality of his words.