Chapter 22
It was becoming more difficult for me to breathe every minute that went by as I was locked up in our bakery's little kitchen. Since I was a young child and Alpha Knight had given me a job in the pack kitchen, cooking has always been a therapeutic activity for me. Perhaps it was the trauma of never having a satisfying meal as a child, or perhaps it was just the idea of seeing so much food in one location at once, but either way, it always seemed to calm my soul.
Vera was threatening me in the only manner she knew how, since she understood this about me. She would not let me leave the kitchen until I had produced the amount of baked products required for the bakery, shattering the bubble I had built since I had entered it.
We both realized that I was postponing the inevitable. Eventually, I had to return to my mate; it was better to go now than later, and I had no idea how long he would leave me alone before his wolf forced him to find me.
Even though going back to him was the preferable course of action, I was nevertheless overwhelmed with dread about it.
"You're acting like a little crack head—you've messed up four batches and you can't stop fidgeting; you aren't going to find your fix in this kitchen." When I reluctantly undid my apron, Vera was always my voice of reason.
I hurriedly whispered, "I'll be back by the evening," and she sneered.
"And I'll be disappointed if you are." She smiled, trying to ease the stress she sensed in me. When necessary, we always worked in opposition to one another, maintaining a balance between us.
I glanced at the reflection of the glass exhibit and gave myself a halfhearted smile. Nothing could relieve the agonizing thoughts I was having or the obvious signs of sleep deprivation under my eyes. What did he think of me when he had rescued me from his cell, and what would he think of me when he sees me like this?
I was faced with my dilemma as soon as I left the bakery.
The only thing I knew about the royal packhouse was that I needed to trek through the dense forest on the other side of town in order to get there. I briefly thought about going back, but I could feel my inner wolf gnawing at me. She was desperate to return to him, and if I didn't obey, she would ruin my life.
However, I was still worn out and doubted my ability to survive another hike through the forest. I shook my head, wondering whether he could detect me the closer I came to him. It was also impossible for me to transform back into my wolf and expose myself to him. With a moan, I began to walk because I had very few options.
It was an accomplishment in and of itself to make my way across the city in the frantic afternoon light, but as soon as I got to the edge of the tree line, I vanished into it. It temporarily blocked out the cacophonous sounds of the city, but then I realized I was by myself.
I embraced myself, knowing that my wolf would be my only source of guidance. When I stopped feeling in control of the things around me, which was what was happening right now, I became far more dependent on my instincts.
I was a mass of contradictions and denial, and it was eating me up from the inside out. My wolf was whining against my skin, and my instincts were pushing me in the direction of my mate. All I had to do was stay with this long enough for Vera to obtain what she wanted, but how could I possibly walk away from this whole thing if she also found her mate in the royal pack?
Walking away from my partner was one thing, but having to do the same to Vera would trigger a similar wave of anguish I had never experienced before—she was my family, and I wasn't going to make the same mistakes I made with my own brother by abandoning her.
The more I felt like I was getting closer to the packhouse, the stronger my bond was with Derrick. His anger and suffering were palpable; they were like a kick to the stomach. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to go back to him right now, but I had to deal with the repercussions because I had caused this to happen to myself.
He would be overcome with feelings I couldn't predict when he learned I had returned to him. He had ultimately decided to allow me to go, so I figured he couldn't have been upset with me when I accepted.
The volatile and heightened emotions of an alpha wolf were exacerbated by the presence of royal blood in their system. I had witnessed Alphas lash out previously, and the outcome was never positive—they were cruel, and extremely domineering. Perhaps he would make an effort to make a statement, or perhaps he had already come to terms with my rejection and wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. I was sure he would abandon me if I didn't honor him as the other members of his pack did, since royal wolves were supposed to be reverend, and I hadn't.
My wolf had to call me to attention when she spotted another presence between the trees with me since I was lost in my thoughts and confused about where he had abandoned the forest. When I heard the growl next to me, I froze in place, my innate need to flee grinding against my bones. Rather, I turned to face the wolf, my hands clenched, as he began to transform back into a human.
He had a steely-eyed stare, and when I realized it wasn't him, I exhaled with relief.
The man in front of me was tall and thin, and his presence did not suffocate me the way my mate's tremendously muscular presence did.
My cheeks flushed as I saw that he was nude, undoubtedly one of the fighters Derrick had sent to watch over his domain. I waited for him to put on his shorts by turning my head to the side.
We didn't hesitate to show our nudity as wolves, but now that I had found my partner, the thought of staring at another man in that way made my stomach turn.
"What business do you have on these grounds?" My muscles tightened as the warrior asked.
Given the performance their king had no shame in putting on when he had kneeled in front of me in his courtyard, I assumed that by now I would be the talk of his pack. They had probably never seen him fall to his knees for anyone before, and they probably quickly realized who I was to him after that.
"I, uh—I have business with your Alpha?" I had the pronunciation on the tip of my tongue, but I was anxious about it for the second time.
It was far too personal and concrete to tell someone else that the Alpha King was my mate.
"And what business do you have with him?" The warrior regarded me suspiciously; his posture and look betrayed his mistrust.
My pulse accelerated, and I was certain he could sense it. I was curious about his thoughts about my next move—whether he thought I would fight or run. But because I was tired and my inner wolf was screaming, I turned to the facts.
"Look—I told him I would be back today, and I didn't really have an address for your packhouse, the only way I knew how to get here was to go through the woods." I stammered through my explanation, which seemed to make him even more wary. My muscles tightened again as he took a step toward me.
"Who are you?" His brows wrinkled as he examined every inch of me. Did he believe that, as his other warrior companion had concluded the other day, I was a rogue? And if I told him I was his alpha's mate, would he believe me when I said I wasn't?
"I'm Kylie, I—um, I guess I'm your alpha's mate." Though my words sounded hesitant, they burned through me as if I were chanting a spell. The man in front of me bent his head and fell to his knees, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Luna, I apologize for my lack of manners—I wasn't at the packhouse yesterday to witness your mate bonding." His remarks did seem to confirm one thing, though: they all knew that their Alpha had found his mate. I wondered whether they also knew that I had walked away from him. My cheeks burned bright crimson again as I stared down at his body slumped at my feet in servitude.
"You don't have to do that, please get up." I sounded really embarrassed and desperate. I wasn't worthy of their awe; I wasn't sure their king was worthy of it either, but he was far more deserving of it.
The warrior at my feet straightened up, but his eyes avoided meeting mine once more, showing his deference to his dominant ruler.
"I'll escort you back to the packhouse, I'll let his highness know that you are here." My heart raced as he confirmed our next course of action, my trust concerns clinging to me like second skin.
Should he already be aware of my presence, he would have ample opportunity to manipulate me into falling victim to his scheme.
"Wait, could you maybe not tell him I'm here—I'd rather you just take me to him instead." He slightly lowered his head to indicate that he had heard what I had said, but I could still see the hesitation straining across his face.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Luna—he's been training with the warriors all morning and he's been very brutal with their regime; it is not something that you should have to see." What should have terrified me with his remarks instead excited me, as I was intrigued to see my mate in one of his most feral states.
Though I had been unsure whether I wanted to see him again, I was now certain that I wanted to see him just as his warrior had described.
"I think I'd rather make that decision for myself." My voice was considerably more assured and determined, and it was also a lot simpler to meet its demands. Given that I hadn't even completely embraced the mate link yet, my words shouldn't have had the effect they did on the warrior, but they did, and he gave in far too readily.
"Luna, naturally… Yes, in this manner." Before he led the way, he turned his shoulder to face the western side of the forest.