Chapter 20
I inhaled deeply and took a step away from him, then began dragging my fingers through my disheveled hair. I tried to ignore him while I pulled out dried leaves and twigs, but I could feel him watching me. I pulled my hands back to my sides and he took a step forward, grunting when I refused to speak to him. He then seized my chin.
"I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer me truthfully." His serious gaze was fixed on me as he awaited my response, and I nodded once more, feeling my throat dry. "Why did you try to run from me?" I attempted to free my face from his hold as his eyes swept over every inch of it, but he was determined to have my entire focus and would not allow me to flee from him once more. My heart stopped as his other hand went to clasp my hip.
It was a rather straightforward inquiry, yet it seemed to demand the hardest answer.
"I—" I clenched my eyes shut, unable to meet his intense stare. "I didn't grow up in a beautiful palace like you did; I've been harmed by people who have locked me in dark rooms in the past, so when you did that to me, it felt like it was happening again and I was out of breath. Even if it meant risking my life, I had to do everything in my power to leave." With a quiver, I released my breath, my fists clenching at my sides. I detested discussing my past and being brought up in conversation, but Derrick was unaware of this as he didn't know anything about me.
"I don't like feeling trapped, so I ran because I thought that when you caught me, you would lock me up someplace worse." My eyes remained closed against the shadows cast by my words. Derrick most likely assumed that I was a typical wolf with a typical family and hadn't given my upbringing any attention at all.
I waited breathlessly, expecting him to say anything, but all I could hear were his heavy breathing and the soft sway of the trees as he processed what I was willing to tell him. His hands grabbed my face and I flinched, but then I softened into his touch as his thumb made soothing circles all the way down my jawline.
"The Knightfall pack, did they do that to you?" His eyes were filled with seething wrath when I opened my eyes to look at him. His natural tendency to defend me didn't like that I had been harmed by someone, and he wasn't the one who had come to my aid.
This wasn't about the Knightfall pack, but if I nodded my head, I knew he would go on a rampage and destroy my previous pack.
I put my hands to his chest and shook my head cautiously. I wanted to rest my head against his heart because I could feel its thundering beat.
"The Knightfall pack isn't the pack you were born in?" He scowled as he awkwardly gripped the life I had led.
"This is what I mean." I exhaled. "We don't know anything about each other and when you started assuming my place in your life and talking about my duties and popping out pups for your royal agenda—it freaked me out because you didn't once ask me what I wanted." My words caused his nostrils to flare up; he didn't seem to appreciate me reprimanding him, but I had to let him know how I felt or else we would keep going around in circles.
"You're still not listening to me. Mates are supposed to live together, and you're my mate." I gave a sigh, and he withdrew from me, clenching his jaw. Observing his hands tightly ball into fists, I realized that communication with him would remain unattainable even at this point.
Because he was raised in a particular way and was the alpha monarch, he had strong, unwavering beliefs about how partners ought to live. Love was something that just happened, without question, and without delay. He despised it when I withdrew from him, even though his mate link was meant to intensify my emotions more quickly than it would with other pack wolves due to his status.
The alpha monarch was having a tantrum because, for once, he wasn't getting his way.
"Fine." His teeth were gritted. "Do you still want to leave?" I didn't like the unexpected coldness he showed me.
I reluctantly agreed, but he moved away from me in a few steps before I could clarify. I was trembling beneath his icy gaze, no longer snugly nestled under the warmth of his body.
"If that's what you want I won't stop you from it this time." My heart skipped a beat when he nodded. He turned his back on me, and I watched him closely. The movement alone gave me the impression that jagged rocks were shoving their way into my lungs.
My wolf pushed me to go to him, but this was what I wanted, and I had no right to feel bad about it. I took a deep breath as emptiness filled my body.
As he began to move away from me, I remained where I was. His body was rigid, and he was filled with a tremendous rage with every stride. I watched as his body withdrew back into the trees, his presence evaporating from my skin with every step he made to get away from me, even if he wanted me to follow him.
I stumbled out of the jungle for a time before I felt like I could walk again, and the exhaustion of it all was cramping my limbs. His absence felt heavy in my heart, and the air was carrying his aroma away.
Nothing, not even the alpha king who had every right to claim me or murder me, could take away the independence I had spent years attempting to develop. Whether my fate was to be damned by him or to be by his side, I had spent the most part of my life without the need for a mate.