I diverted to a locked store room and while waiting for the breeze to stop or at least, reduce, I tried getting the dust out of my eyes and reminiscing over what had happened in the previous hours.
John had thrown me out of his apartment after he was done with me.
The ever so kind John, the caring John, the timid and childish John, the same ol' loving John. Men are scum! I still couldn't believe it. He said he had finally gotten what he always wanted, that nigga told me that to my face. You can imagine!
He had said he really didn't love me but he knew I always loved him because he noticed the way I looked at him and thought it'd be easy to get into my pants.
He admitted that I wasn't as cheap as he had envisaged and it actually hurt him that he had to wait for a year to finally get what he wanted from me.
He hadn't even waited for sometime to prove what a disgusting man he actually was. He had exposed himself immediately he was done taking my pride, my dignity. That's the extent of how insensitive and uncaring of a man he was. He had been pretending to me all along but I should have known. Gosh! I was so naive.
The girls' footwears, the female underwears, the pack of condoms, the conservative pills...they all made sense now as I connected the dots. I should have known better, I should have!
Well, this wasn't the time to shed tears over spilt milk. I had a rather more important issue at hand, my mother.
After being humiliated, with a shattered heart; I had bought a pain relief medicine at the local clinic which I had taken to ease the pains I felt around my thighs and private parts and had board a taxi to Mr Grumpy's house. There weren't discussions this time around; he knew why I was there and ushered me inside.
Only him was home and he just led me to his bedroom and did his business while I lay motionless on the bed with tears rolling down my eyes. After that, I said nothing and put on my clothes. He then threw a bundle of notes at me which I caught.
"How much is this?" I asked.
"A sum of #100,000." He replied.
Had he forgotten the exact amount of money I needed? I wondered.
"But this isn't the amount of money I need," I told him.
"Then leave the money and walk away. First of all, you lied that you're a virgin and to make it worse, you just lay like a log of wood while I did all the work. You should be grateful I even gave you something. I'm off to the bathroom. Be sure to be gone before I come out," He had said and left.
Cam you even imagine? #100,000 only was all he had given me even after promising to add more money! Again, men are scum!
But I couldn't really blame him. If only I had not slept with that deceiving John, he wouldn't have felt I lied I was a virgin.
I was weak and feeling pains, it was like the pain relief medicine hadn't even worked but I had to go to the hospital and plead with the doctor, he'll probably hear me out. At least, I had something on me.
I arrived at the hospital. The nurse at the counter looked at me and shook her head empathically.
Do I look pitiable? I wondered. I made my way to the doctor's office and he calmly greeted me.
I put on my puppy face. "Doctor, I... I have part of the money. I'll get the rest but at least, commence treatment on her. I'll get the rest of the money for you, I promise."
I was making empty promises, that, I was sure of. I didn't even know where to get more money from and yet, I was telling the doctor I'd get the rest of the money for him. Would I continue selling my body to save my mother's life? I'm sure she wouldn't even want that for me, but what could I even do?
The doctor smiled. "Come with me," He said, standing up.
"Why?"
"Just come."
He opened the door to his office and was walking out. I jumped and trodded by his side.
"You know, my dear. You have to always be strong. We live everyday and every day comes with new challenges. We just have to be strong and push forward irrespective of the challenges of life," He said.
Why was he talking like this?
Was this the same doctor I had met earlier on or a motivational speaker? OR was I at the wrong place?
"Doctor, I have part of the money," I said, trying to patch things up.
He didn't say a word again. He went into a ward instead and rested his eyes on something.
I followed and traced his gaze to the bed.
There laid my mother, still; motionless; lifeless.
"Mum...mum. No! Mum!"
I screamed and rushed over to her bedside. I shook her body. Her face was pale and her body, cold.
"No, mum! You can't do this to me. You can't leave me here like this. You complete me, remember?" I yelled at her lifeless body.
I turned to the doctor and grabbed him by the collar.
"Don't just stand there, doctor. Do something," I screamed at him.
"Calm down, Miss Cassandra," He said to me.
"Don't tell me to calm down, don't you dare," I said.
He gently removed my hands from the collar of his shirt.
"You need to take heart, Miss Cassandra. Your mother has gone to rest....."
"Rest where? Rest where? She cannot die, she can't possibly leave me here. I have nobody, nobody in this whole world except her, so how could she go to rest without me?" I screamed.
I ran over to my mother's body and shook her body vigorously. "Say something, mum. You're alive, right? You're only pretending to be dead. Say something, mum. I love you, you know I do. Please, don't leave me alone like this."
Some nurses came into the ward and tried to calm me down and pulled me away from the body.
I acted like a crazy person. I refused to believe that my mother had just died like that and I struggled to break free from their grasp.
The doctor shook his head and covered my mother's dead body with a white cloth.
"She's gone...for real," I said, as reality sunk in.
Tears oozed in torrents. I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.
"No!" I cried.
I was stricken, dumbfounded; unable to move. I retreated, I couldn't...still couldn't believe my mum was gone. The only family I had, my only friend, my only confidante.
Who was I to talk to now? Who would check up on me now? Who would always stand by me now?
I groaned in pain. It wasn't true. No way. No way!!