Sebastian
“I will be a terrible mother. My own mother never showed me any love growing up, so how would I show it to a child? I would ruin them with my unloving presence, and they would grow up jaded and looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. I would only make them suffer, Anabelle, therefore I do not want any children.”
As soon as I heard these words fall from Elena’s mouth, I knew things would be different between the two of us. She had never been this honest with me in the past regarding this. And for what reason? Did she think not having children was a deal breaker in our marriage?
She looks up as if sensing me, and the moment our eyes meet, I see the guilt cloud her eyes. Oh, Elena, do you not know that I would love you even if you chose not to bear my children? I walk towards her and Anabelle and the latter look at me before giving Elena a kiss on the forehead and taking her to leave. Elena doesn’t break my eye contact until I smile at her. “Do you hate me now?” She asks, not meeting my gaze again.
I walk towards her and wrap her in an embrace. “No matter what you say, I would still love you, Elena. But I will not forgive you for saying that you would ruin our children’s lives because you would be unloving. If you can love a cold, unfeeling person such as myself, who’s to say that you could not love your own child?” I tell her, and she visibly blanches at my words. She looks visibly confused and shakes her head. “You’re not cold and unfeeling.” She says, taking my bait.
I smile and cup her cheek with my palm, “Neither are you, petite pâquerette. You have shown me so much more love in the past few months than anyone has ever shown me, Isla included. The warmth and love you have brought into my life and home are unparalleled. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, Elena, and I do not blame you for not wanting children right now. I would never think of forcing you into it, but please, never call yourself unloving again, because that is a lie.” I say and watch as unshed tears brim her eyes. Leaning closer to her, I kiss her forehead. “I love you,” I whisper and feel the slight tremble of her body as she sobs.
I will have to speak to my mother about pestering Elena about grandchildren if this is the reaction she would have when asked about heirs. I had always assumed that children would come at a later stage, I never would have thought Elena would be this averse to the idea. I kiss her forehead again and take her hand in mine, “Let’s go home, my love.” I say, and lead her to our waiting vehicle out front. No doubt, my mother will be calling on me tomorrow.
We reach the Phantom and I get inside while pulling her into my lap; I think Elena would need all the love she could get right now. I don’t push the subject during the drive home, but I could tell she wanted to again, which is proven when she speaks again. “Your mother corners me about children every time she sees me and this evening I just snapped and told her she would not be receiving one any time soon. I mean, I have told her that I wish to focus on my career for now, but she just doesn’t listen and I am not sure what else to do.”
I stroke her hair and kiss her head before letting out a sigh. “Oh, my love. I am sorry for my mother’s part in this. I know she can be quite persistent and think it’s her old Prima Ballerina attitude coming through at times. Tomorrow I will sort this out with her. Please don’t fret. However, we will have to speak about this properly at some stage, my love, because an heir will be required later on in our marriage.”
“That I understand, Sebastian, and will have to make peace with it. I just do not appreciate being nagged about it at every turn. I love you, I love your family but I will have children when I am ready to, even if I know that I will be an awful mother.” She says, still adamant and breaking herself down. “Elena,” I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You are not Susanna Wiltshire. You will be a loving mother and pour every ounce of your love into our child, love you never received while growing up. Please do not break yourself down, my love.” I say, and she looks at me with tears welling in her eyes. “You think so?” she asks, still not believing.
I nod and smile at her. “I vehemently do,” I answer and wrap my arms around her again while inhaling her strawberry scent again. Elena, you have no idea how much I love you, and I think I will have to work on showing you again.
Elena
Sebastian holds me close and I breathe out a sigh. We spent the rest of the drive home in comfortable silence and I think back to my words spat out to Mirabelle. Cringing, I know I will have some catching up to do tomorrow, but as far as I’m concerned I was correct in my statement. They will not force me into popping children out just because I married into a powerful family, that’s Eliana, not me. Heirs, shmeirs.
We reach our villa, and I feel unusually elated to see it. Social Season drained me this year and I think it had more to do with the fact that I was a Dumont now. I dragged Anabelle to every one of the regattas, balls, formals, and derbies and I swear the poor girl got just as bored as I did. The eyes on me, the flat conversations and people sucking up to me pulled the joy out of me and I think I might just require another trip to The Caymans. Heehee.
Sebastian leads me up the stairs while I slip my heels off. Thank God this was the last event until next year. I don’t remember how I used to do this for so long, but then again Eliana was the one dragged to most of these instead of me. I noticed that a dead calm enveloped my husband as we walked, and I started to worry a bit. Perhaps he was still mad at me? We don’t speak even when we reach the room, but Sebastian pulls me into the bathroom and I wonder what he was up to now. He removed the pins from my hair until my curls cascaded down my back and kissed the nape of my neck. I feel a shiver run down my spine as he does this, then he pulls down the zipper on my dress and caresses the skin on my back.
“I think you’ve forgotten how much you’re loved, Elena, and I am sorry for being a bit slack in that department as of late. So please allow me to show you.” He says and that night he showed me over and over just how loved I was.