I do my duty silently and give Alexi a wide berth all night. The club is bustling, but I feel completely empty inside as I play the role of smiling hostess. He’s left me be, said nothing when I appeared at seven when the doors opened, after hours of composing myself upstairs.
I have been trying to put back on that face of control. He is doing what he does best it seems, acting like nothing is amiss and nothing prior happened to cause any awkwardness. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him to be honest.
I caught the staff whispering and throwing glances my way and I wonder if they are looking for my bruises from what they think must have been an inevitable beating. I mean I did piss off our lord and master and defied him so ruthlessly. What they don’t know is that it was so much worse than that. He has the mental edge over me, knows how to break me, and uses that to control me much more effectively than violence. I gave him something he can use next time I step out of line, and he knows it.
Alexi is king of the upper hand and I stupidly keep giving him all my playing cards. I’m even more afraid of him than I was before, if it’s even possible, and I am starting to think the only way out of this is to find my running shoes once more and use them. I can’t see this ever ending, even if I do pay off my debt to Carrero; he doesn’t seem like a guy who just lets you walk out the door when your deal comes to an end, and a year from now he may have enough leverage and emotional tools to have sent me to the loony bin.
‘‘Hello Red ….’’ I jump when Gino’s smooth tone comes at me from behind and throw a wary glance to where Alexi is sitting with a group of men in the lounge area. Girls moving in to drape all over them like cheap whores and I turn away quickly when I see one of them sliding onto Alexi’s lap—it hits me with a cruel twist in my stomach unexpectedly.
I take a long slow inhale, both to shove it down and stop caring what he does, and to appear completely unfazed to everyone around me. It’s like an impulsive reaction every time a male comes near me, to guiltily check if he is watching me, and I am more than aware he has me double checking and watching every move I make tonight.
What has he done to you?
‘’Gino.’’ I step back when he leans into me, making a very visual space between us, with Alexi’s warning swirling in my mind, and he smiles almost knowingly. Looking too Alexi like in a pair of smart trousers and a shirt tonight, the dimness of the room making his eyes look grey and it’s almost creepy in a way. How alike, yet completely different they are.
‘‘Still mad huh …? Look … I’m sorry okay, it wasn’t about you, but about me being a dick when I do drugs and getting at my brother. I’m not normally that guy and I love my girlfriend. I’m marrying her, and I don’t fuck around on her.’’ He extends a hand to me and even though I know it’s completely harmless, I can’t get Alexi’s voice out of my head to stay away from his brother. I cross my arms over my bust and throw him a tight smile with a raised chin, and just lower my brows seriously. Praying he takes the hint that I am not a touchy-feely person when it comes to any male on the planet, while my captor is fifteen feet away.
‘‘Apology accepted, can I get you a drink and alert your brother to your arrival?’’ My all business tone and no-nonsense stance. I just want him to step off before Alexi realises he’s here, but he grins at me with a cheeky all-knowing look.
‘‘You’ve been scalded huh? Yeah, you’ve got to learn to stand up to him Red, or he will grind you to dust otherwise. Alexi is a hard arse but there’s more to him if you look deeper, and don’t let him get away with his bullshit.’’ He moves back, thankfully, and throws a look towards the party I guess he is attending.
‘’Well thanks for the tip, but it happens to be the worst advice ever. Alexi grinds anyone who stands up to him to dust and I just need to learn to keep my head down and stop looking for anything beyond my job.’’ I sigh and use the toe of my patent heels to kick out a fluff ball in the carpet in distraction. I’m still pensive and sulking I guess, still feeling emotionally bruised and fragile, and could have done with staying upstairs tonight to get over myself. I’m just not in the hostess mood. He’s bruised my confidence. ‘‘You have no idea missy. How many women can you count on one hand that has a permanent appearance in his empire? Family not included.’’ Mr smug is smiling at me like a Cheshire cat who got all the cream and I just shrug him off with zero interest. I don’t want to have a cosy little chat with him, I want to be left alone and mild irritation is brimming up inside.
‘‘I have nothing to do with his empire outside of this club, I have no clue.’’ I know it exists, he spends most of his time anywhere but here, but he’s not a sharer of information and I have no desire to know the ins and outs of what he does or where.
‘‘Two … The other is his secretary at his main office, and she’s known him since he was born. She was our father’s assistant, this business is very traditional. Women have no place in power and Alexi is very traditional about some aspects—like a woman’s place. Takes after my father and his generation; you’re different Red, whether you think it or not. Alexi gave you responsibility and position in his club, you stand out to him as someone capable and worth more.’’
I glance toward Alexi in two minds as to what Gino is saying and shake my head as I watch that handsome profile schmoozing with his clients in such a relaxed manner. I know it’s not clear-cut, and he had to do something with me to make back the money he paid out for my life. I’m just a tool, and there’s no real power in being a hostess of a sex club. Luciano was failing so I was the obvious choice.
‘’I’m just a possession to him.’’ I lift my chin and try to exude my normal confidence even if the words bite me strangely. I hate that I feel so bereft after the encounter with the cross earlier, even though, in hindsight, he didn’t actually do anything to me that was overly cruel or abusive. What he did was play on something he knew would make me freak out and get at me emotionally.