Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as my hand starts to tremble around the can I am still holding; instantly blown away by something so basic. I mentally shake it off as I check myself, pulling my shit together; breathe out the overwhelming wave of emotions and lean down slowly to tip out the contents into his bowl. I lay the can on the ground, still bent over and tentatively reach for the cats back, pausing with nerves cascading out of every pore—Tense and hopeful.
He makes another sweep against me, even though his food is there, and gently I run my fingers along his spine feeling his soft fur and surprisingly warm body heat which completely soothes my soul. The cat butts his head up to meet my palm and for a second of sheer joy lets my rub his head properly.
It’s short-lived—as soon as he sees the food is out he darts off, tail in the air and the moment is gone, but it was a moment of utter completion for me and my chest and stomach are brimming with weird vibrations.
Weeks of trying to tame this infernal beast and he rewards me with a second of utter bliss. I got to touch him. He trusts me. He likes me. He might even really love me in some weird cat way. I’m worth something to someone on a genuine level.
I could sob right now and turn to Alexi as I straighten up with a warm tear rolling down my cheek; A happy goofy smile on my face.
‘Did you see that?’ I ask him meekly, overcome with breathlessness and Alexi just frowns at me.
‘You know that thing waits for me every day and aims those little fucking claws of his at my legs on a daily. I’m not the best person to praise you on his obvious devotion, seeing as I would love to run over the little shit’s head in a heartbeat.’ He points out dryly, still leaning over his open car door as he watches me and I just eyeroll and wipe my face. Killing the moment for me and I shake my head that I would expect him to understand.
‘You really know how to ruin a good thing, don’t you?’ I sigh and the weird flicker of expression that crosses his face accompanied by …
‘Yeah … tell me about it,’ in a sombre tone, seems out of place and weirdly unconnected to our conversation. He looks away across the car park as though distracted and sighs heavily too. The atmosphere takes a distinct turn as I return to gazing adorably at my ugly little pet; Pride filling me up in every tiny space inside of me.
‘Are you coming or not?’ Alexi bursts into my thoughts and I look down one last time at Feral eating away contentedly, oblivious to me now, and scoop to lift the can to deposit in the bin by Alexi’s car.
‘Are you going to play nice and be a gentleman if I do?’ I ask brazenly, the last ounces of my moment fading away quickly and lift my eyes to his in combat, not in the mood for any Alexi prickness today. I’m high on life and just had one of the best moments ever. I won’t let him burst that little joyful bubble.
‘Yes, ma’am. On my best behaviour. Scouts honour.’ He nods cheekily, a mock salute I assume from the boy scouts and I sigh heavily. I doubt he actually means it, and yet, I am in the mood for getting out and seeing something new. The club is my happy place but it doesn’t mean I don’t get bored seeing the same four walls every day.
‘I have to be back here before six … I have stuff to do.’ I point out, not sure why I am even contemplating this little trip but I guess curiosity is getting the better of me. Another club he owns sounds like something worthy of checking out. I have always been intrigued by what else he does with his life outside of this place.
‘I swear we shall be back before then. It’s a quick visit, not an all-day thing.’ He’s still focused on me as I walk towards him and then gesture to the club behind me with my hand.
‘I better tell Jackson in case he thinks he’s lost me and has a meltdown. He’s very protective, you know.’ I nod in the general direction but Alexi shakes his head.
‘I can do it.’ Alexi motions to his earpiece, presses his finger to it. Of course, I remember the little security gadgets again. They seem to wear them all the time and Alexi is no exception. I know they have a distance limit but anyone within a few hundred feet of one other is still in range, so I assume he uses them wherever he goes to stay linked to his men all over the city. He has to have men dotted every few hundred feet for sure, so probably always has some sort of contact with someone like a game of Chinese whispers.
He tells Jackson he is taking me with him, and then leaves his door open to walk around and get the other side ready for me to get in. He leans in, throwing his jacket into the back seat, brushes off the passenger side then steps out of my way as he lets me move in and slide into his car; Towering over me closely as I push past and try to ignore the butterflies erupting deep in my stomach when we touch briefly.
I’m getting used to them now and just ignore the infernal sensations as another downside to life around him.
I have never actually been alone with Alexi in a car that he is driving. We only ever went in the back, chauffeured by Mico or one of his drivers, so this feels strangely intimate as he closes my door for me and moves fast to get in the other side.
What I would have given to be alone in this way before … when I was stupidly enamoured with him and craving his attention. It’s weird that now I no longer want it he seems to offer it freely and it’s ironic. The less I chase him the more he seems to want me in his life—it’s not lost on me and I wonder if that’s what this is. I stopped giving and he started coming after me.
Isn’t that what he said he liked? Women who are not easy to catch?
I don’t want to think about it, it’s just another head mess waiting to happen, and I slide on my seat belt as I put it out of my head.
'What exactly is this sporty little number anyway? It's very you.' I eye up the sleek and dark interior of his car, all gadgets and high tech and screams of expensive man toy.
'A Bugatti Chiron Sport! Custom painted to my specs.' He beams proudly, grinning my way like the cat who got the cream, shades pushed up again and obviously enamoured with his car as he buckles up and adjusts his seating position to get comfy.
'Let me guess … is it Italian made?' I eyeroll for effect, knowing full well he has a serious thing about his roots.
'All the best things come in Italian packaging, Bambino.' He winks smugly, and it has the opposite effect of being charmed. I pull a cringing face and gawp at him.
'Ewwww, please don't ever use that term again, so cringe Alexi. I think I just vomited in my mouth.' I mock push my finger in my throat to simulate an up-chuck response, and he just laughs, shaking his head as he presses his palm to the back of my headrest, so he can push himself around to check behind us before he reverses.
‘Don’t let my cousin hear you say that … It’s his tried and tested means of pulling the ladies; He got a wife out of it.’ He throws me a knowing look, smiling at my head shake and then smoothly pulls his car out of the space, gentle on the gas. I slide down to relax a little, feeling confident that he’s not a stupid boy racer, and I am perfectly safe with him.