‘Mature … as always, London.’ Alexi raises his brow right back and I cave immediately. Both with the snide remark and the use of that not cute, ever fucking irritating pet name he likes to use on me when he is being a prick. Temper that has been brimming inside all this time just explodes with that little superior fucking put down, and all my hatred and loathing is right back in his face.
‘Why don’t you do us all a favour and go fuck yourself??’ I scream at him, losing my cool and letting loose.
‘Why? When I can just fuck with you! It’s way more fun and not that hard,’ he spits back, an evil glimmer of that sadistic controlling prick who uses punishment as a method to intimidate, and I snap.
‘Go and choke, you complete fucking wanker!’ I squawk like a crazy.
‘I like the idea of choking … pretty sure you would make a good test subject.’ He just sounds sinister as fuck and I quake deep inside, no longer in control of my reactions, but it doesn’t deter me at all.
‘Try it and I will cut your fucking balls off with something blunt!’ I’m seething with rage, making threats and taking no heed of the voice of reason in my brain trying to calm me down.
‘Not this again.’ Mico interjects, pushing between us as tempers reach sky-high and my urge to start chucking shit at Alexi’s head starts all over again. He pushes us apart forcefully and gives Alexi an extra shoulder punch as though somehow, he is more at fault than me, and Alexi just continues to glare past him right at my eyes. I won’t back down either.
‘I’m done … get the fuck out of my apartment, you complete tosser.’ I yell in rage at him and throw my hands in the air, done with all of this and eager to finally put my head down somewhere soft and forget he ever existed once again. I am fast unravelling and the longer I stand here, the more exhausted I feel.
‘If that’s what you call this dump!’ Alexi snorts right back at me, tone full of sarcasm and arrogant prick face self-importance.
‘Well, you won’t mind fucking leaving it then, WILL YOU?!?!’
I don’t look back but storm off to my bedroom, so overly frustrated with his bullshit, and shut the door on both of them with a massive slam that makes the thin walls vibrate and a poorly hung picture falls off inside my room with a bump. Luckily it has no glass and I turn and pace around angrily, seething with the nerve of the god damn arsehole.
Not able to contain the way my body is shaking, both with adrenaline, anger and fever and all the mess going off inside of me as everything collides into one finally.
My body was holding being sick at bay while fuelled on whatever that was out there, but it’s well and truly worn off and I just feel wretched; waves of heat and cold, overwhelming nausea and runny nose. I am slowly falling apart.
I sit down on the end of my bed when weakness hits me low in the gut, and it’s only then I realise it’s less chaotic in here and my clothes are hanging on hangers on the bathroom door. Mico must have been busy while waiting for me. I never pegged him as someone capable of domestic and I don’t get why he would bother. Guess he was passing time as it took me ages to get over here; while Alexi was out looking for me. I push that thought away fast.
Right now, I don’t know how to feel.
Numb, shocked and tired, like my brain can’t cope with anymore tonight after the shit day I had, among other things. I feel like my brain is going to explode.
I really do not know if what I just walked into was an actual dream, or maybe a nightmare, and the surreal aura going off around me could be that I am really caught in a drug-induced terror and really none of it has happened at all.
Alexi is doing what he always does—fucking my head up brutally and it’s testimony as to why he should stay away from me … Forever.
There’s a gentle knock on my door and I stiffen, unsure which of them it will be, then logically realise Alexi the prick would just walk in because he thinks he’s king of the world and owns everywhere his bloody feet go. He wouldn’t bother knocking; especially not in something I call my own. He thinks he owns me and all that goes with it.
‘What is it?’ I call back gently, rasping because yelling only made my throat worse, and I am on the verge of stupid tears over a stupid man.
‘I need to go get something, but I’ll be back and … Alexi wants to talk to you Camilla, please, for me, hear him out.’ It’s Mico, sounding quietly gentle and stable and I feel guilty for sitting in here sulking at him. However, I also want to laugh at the most ridiculous thing Mico could have said to me.
‘I don’t want to talk to him. There is nothing in the world he could say that I would ever want to hear.’ I sound childish, petulant and it’s not Mico’s fault. He’s just stuck between me and his lord and master and trying to not be the bad guy. I don’t know why he is so suddenly pro Lexi and Cam but I don’t care. I just want them to both go away now. The last dealings I had with King Carrero was him trying to evict me from his life, so why would he even try to have a conversation with me now?
‘You might want to hear this given your current situation.’ Mico says louder and I just stare at the door in suspicion.
‘I doubt it … I’d rather eat shit and die than listen to anything Alexi might say to me.’ I know I am being childish. That man out there stole every ounce of my sanity and left me in a hospital to rot. He never checked if I was okay in the three days I was there. He never showed up, never enquired about me or anything. I was just disconnected and left to go out into the world alone. He never once stopped to wonder about the girl he slept with more than once and then pushed to an attempted suicide at his hands. He made me feel worthless.
In the four months I have been gone it’s like he never even existed, no word, no sign, no slight hint, and now suddenly, he wants me to come out because he has something to say. He’s a bully and a control freak and there’s nothing I want from him.
Hell, to the NO!
‘Camilla, please. Just listen to him, this is as much for you and me as it is for him. After he’s done talking he’s going to leave … he promised me. I’ll be back soon; the carpenter needs something to secure your windows.’
‘Mico, wait! Don’t leave me with him.’ It’s out like a frightened pathetic kid who thinks the bogey man is out there to get her and her only protector is legging it.
Who will stop him acting like a total loony if I piss him off again and he gets a proper hold of me?