I haven’t really known any decent nice guys in my time; the circles I moved in and the acquaintances I made in my chosen path brought me only men who always had motives. Like Alexi, he had something to gain from me and is now discarding me after he has gotten it. I don’t know how to feel knowing that someone is willing to take care of me because I am sick for no reason other than he wants to; it makes me feel uneasy in a way. I know there isn’t a reason not to trust him, but my gut never trusts anyone. I’m not used to kindness.
‘’You clearly don’t know many Carrero men then. The whole family are poster children for great DNA and amazing guys; my heart is on a certain young Carrero by the name of Anjelo. Hottest guy I have ever laid eyes on and I swear if he fills out like Gino and Lex, I won’t make it to my next birthday still a virgin, he has crazy kissing skills.’’
She completely gushes like teens do and I curb the urge to eye roll. Stupid girl with no clue what a can of worms men and sex can be. I also happen to think she really doesn’t know much about men if she’s lumping Alexi in the ‘’Carrero pool of wonderful men’’ list.
‘‘Don’t rush into sex. Once it’s gone you can’t get it back and it changes everything, trust me, I know.’’ I sound friendly enough but the hint of warning in my tone isn’t missed and she looks instantly sober.
No idea why I even feel like I should be giving any sort of advice to flippant young girls I don’t even know. I don’t care about the lives of others, and I have no space for those kinds of complications or problems. No one in the world ever cared about mine or me, so I learned to never care about anyone else. It’s cleaner, easier, and avoids a lot of headaches and drama.
‘’Are you and Lex dating? It’s just … he seemed concerned about you, I don’t normally see him too hot about women.’’ She sits on the edge of the bed uninvited with wide probing eyes, youthfully curious and I just sigh at her knowing when I have no chance of shaking loose some young cling on.
‘’No, I work for him. We sort of bumped into one another last night and I guess he felt responsible because I was obviously sick.’’ She has that sniffing for gossip look that I used to see on the girls I was lumped with under Rick’s command. I learned fast that women are devious witches who use any tiny titbit of information as a weapon to further their own needs and it was a great life lesson on when to keep your mouth shut and your thoughts private.
‘’Ahhh, well you’re probably not going to like the fact your boss took a naked shower with you to cool you down. You were crazily hot, and he was worried you would have a seizure.’’
‘‘What?’’ I literally gawp at her, fragments of memory making sense, but none of it does. I literally just stare at her as though I am not hearing her right, trying to pull back fuzzy memories without much success. I do have a vague recollection of listening to Alexi talk to me under a constant stream of cool fluid, but it’s so far away and lost in the recess of my brain I cannot fully conjure it up.
‘’I mean you were naked, not him, he was wearing pants. He just walked you in there and kept you under the jets until you levelled out a bit. He had to do it a few times before you finally started to cool, you were pretty out of it and hallucinating like crazy.’’ She shrugs and pulls herself onto the bed properly to cross her legs, with a devilish gleam in her eye at the thought that she thinks it’s shocking my boss saw me in the nude.
Personally, I find it more shocking that he took the time to care for me and I can’t begin to get my head around that.
Stop trying to figure him out.
‘‘Well I’m glad I was out cold then.’’ I deflect, not wanting to dig into that little mess or admit I have been naked with Alexi more than once.
‘’He was very clear about no one else getting to see you that way. He dried you and wrapped you up before he let us put your nightdress on over your head. It’s nice by the way, feels divine it must have been expensive.’’
Possessive, ownership. Of course, he wouldn’t want anyone else to sample his goods, he still thinks that I belong to him and him alone, it is all he knows.
I do admire how the girl can change direction in conversation with a click though, a typical teen with a lack of focus. It makes it easier to sway her far away from a topic that is making me tense.
‘’Thanks, I believe in quality, it’s one of my few indulgences in life. Nice clothes, special lingerie and you get what you pay for.’’ A necessity in this business and one thing I did strive to do as I created Camilla was to up my wardrobe to what I could afford and keep on improving.
Class, elegance, a façade of opulence and great taste. It brought in the men with money who believed in that sentiment exactly, you pay for quality.
I mean, isn’t that why Alexi chose to make me his club hostess? I can exude the essence of upper class, royally raised hostess easily. Even if it’s so far from the truth it’s almost laughable. I spent years devouring all the TV programs I could, read magazines and mimicked the royals. The internet gave me access to elocution videos and even simple things like how to get in and out of a car, which cutlery to use at a five star dinner, the proper terms in social politeness and of course … using seduction as a very powerful tool.