I don’t care what he’s thinking about, I just want to get my medicine and be left alone for all time. His presence is like a lead weight and as much as I have ached to see him for the past Fort-Eight hours, I realise that it just reminds me how much I hate him, hate what he’s capable of making me feel.
‘’Here.’’ He holds out his handkerchief to me and despite wanting to push it away I have water running down my face and a nose that’s running like crazy, I accept it despite wanting to tell him where to go and just avoid eye contact once again.
‘’Stop being nice, I don’t like it and it just makes me suspicious of your motives, which means I can’t relax.’’ I snap childishly and start drying my skin, dabbing my face and blowing my nose as discreetly as I can. As soon as I have done all I can I just sag, so I face plank my own knees and sigh heavily; face against the damp rough fabric but being horizontal is far better than upright as another wave of dizziness overtakes my brain. He’s the worst kind of headache and I don’t need more.
‘‘What are you doing?’’ His annoying tone grates on my nerves. I close my eyes to blank him out feeling surreal and dreamy as my fever ups a gear and starts to seep over my entire body.
‘‘I’m so sick.’’ I can’t face sitting up, it’s better to be down here, my voice is getting croaky with every attempt at talking and I wish I had never come out at all. The weather has made this a hundred times worse, and I just want to close my eyes and sleep it off while he has us driven across town to get what I need. For a moment I am actually grateful he decided to drive me.
‘‘Take this off, it’s making you cold.’’ Alexi tugs at my jacket but I just yank away from him again.
‘‘Cooling me down, so it stays on.’’ I battle, half coherently without opening my eyes and I can even hear the slur in my own speech. I am not really enjoying being in soaked clothes but I have zero energy to lift myself back up and I don’t want him to know how weak I really am in this state. My legs have turned to lead, and my body is giving up on me. That wave of fatigue hitting me hard and I tell myself if I just rest my eyes for a few minutes then the overwhelming sense of falling will pass.
‘’Stop fighting me Cam, just for once.’’ Alexi sounds fed up and I ignore him, curling my arms around my head and just close my eyes tightly to block him out. I know my position is fucking weird, but it’s helping me feel less crap and also has the added benefit of not having to look at the arsehole or acknowledge him in any way.
Wonder what happened to London? Guess that was just a cute name when he was trying to keep me under the thumb. He has decided to give me the heave-ho, so the pet name is gone too.
Wanker!
‘‘Whatever.’’ I answer softly, letting the motion of the car soothe me as my body hits the extreme shivers, only this time I get a wave of cold enveloping me on top of them and I try to block it out. Letting my body give in to the feeling of relaxation, and just let darkness move in for a little while to give me some relief.