Elijah
It had been a month.
Scratch that. It had been the worst month of Elijah’s life – worse than when his parents had died, forcing him to shift young at age twelve and take on the responsibility of being Sea Pine’s Alpha. It was worse than when Leahne had rejected him. It was worse –
It was worse than everything, because he had been so close. He had almost saved her. She had been in his grasp, and then… She was gone. Just like that.
“What do I do?” he mumbled, looking over the cliff’s edge and down, down, into the sea. He was a fire faelen, but sometimes it felt as though the water were his only friend.
He twisted her mother’s garnet ring around her finger. At first, the knot of emotion in his chest had swelled, too thick and too fast and too full of guilt, for him to be glad he had it. He knew he should’ve encouraged her more to keep it, but as the weeks had bled into one another Elijah had been glad of the small comfort it afforded him. He had a piece of her, even if she no longer needed any part of him.
“You know where she is.” Ithia leant back against the railing and levelled her hazel eyes at him. She had said the same thing a hundred times in the last week alone, but it didn’t change anything.
“What if she loves him?” His voice broke. “I have not heard from her. Every letter I have sent has been ignored.”
On Elijah’s other side, Caslein shrugged. He scrubbed a hand, weighed down by rings on every finger, through his textured hair. “The longer you delay, the more time he has to get his claws into her.”
“He was her first mate.” Elijah blinked back tears. He could only let himself go like this around his Beta and Gamma, and even then it was dangerous. His throat worked on a swallow. “They share that connection–”
“Nonsense,” Ithia cut in smoothly. “She hates him. She loves you, Elijah. He was her mate, but he let her go – and she moved on. Do you think of Lily and dream of Leahne at the same time? No, you do not.” She did not give him a chance to answer, even as he jolted at the outright use of Leahne’s name. “We need you, Elijah. Your pack needs you. And you,” she arched an eyebrow at him, “need her.”
“The full moon is coming round again.” Caslein scratched his chin. His nails grated over the short stubble there. “There has been no word of an attack on us this month. Blood Moon have scampered away, their tails between their legs.” He grinned triumphantly. “Red Ripper seem to have cast their gaze elsewhere, too. Now they have an alliance with a real pack, their attacks seem to have settled down.”
“Don’t speak too soon.” Ithia slapped him lightly on the arm. “You’ll jinx it.”
“We can move faster than an entire pack,” Caslein continued, the only sign he’d heard Ithia in the sweeping roll of his pale eyes. “If we go hard, we might even make it back before next month’s full moon.”
“We need to destroy Red Ripper,” Elijah murmured, and then he said it again, his voice stronger the second time. “We need to destroy Red Ripper. They – you cannot imagine what they did to her.” He clenched his hands into fists, fire springing to life, unbidden, in his palms. Those eyes… Wide with fear, white all around – they haunted him.
Caslein bounced on the balls of his feet. “Let me at them, Alpha.” He rolled up his sleeves.
Ithia rolled her eyes. “What is more important? Lily, or revenge on her behalf?”
“Lily,” Elijah said, without hesitation. “But… If she does not want me, then I can do this for her. I have written to her, but I do not want to force her hand. If she loves him most, then I will let her go. All I want is for her to be happy.”
Ithia’s sigh cut through the haze of malaise that was always draped about his shoulders, now. “She is with Alpha Atticus, Eli. I doubt he has let her read your letters – if they have even made it to Blood Moon. You must go to her while Red Ripper are unfocused. While you have the chance.”
Elijah tightened his jaw. They were right. He had let his grief suffocate him for too long.
It had taken him over a week to make it home after finding Conall and Devyn. He’d spent the second and third weeks in agony, his days and dreams full of the memory of how Lily had looked in that cell, forced to rely on the very same eleve that he had once saved her from. Her fire had burnt out in that desolate, lonely place, and seeing that had sliced straight into his heart.
He had poured his pain into trying to find her. He had pored over maps, planning the route he would take and ten more back-up routes to boot. He had written letter after letter, sending them by bird, but none had been sent back for him. He had felt the sting of rejection before, and it had made his heart weak.
He had almost gone straight to the Blood Moon pack upon his return. Caslein had even offered to go with him. But he’d had duties to attend to in Sea Pine first – their Alpha had been gone so much, too much, of late, and he’d needed to gather supplies for the long journey to Blood Moon.
He’d told his wolves all he knew about Red Ripper, about what he’d seen and heard, about the magic they possessed and the witch that powered their dark deeds. He’d sat through meeting after meeting, being told about what he’d missed, and all the while he had thought of Lily.
He’d been ready to leave five days ago. He’d put Ithia in command again, and had granted Caslein his wish of accompanying him. But none of his letters had been returned, and he’d started to wonder…
What if Lily didn’t love him anymore? In that cell she had, he knew it, had felt it, but… She’d been with Atticus for almost a month, now. She had told him how it had felt, once, to be so drawn to Atticus, even though she knew he was utterly, entirely wrong for her. She’d kissed Elijah then, her eyes shining and her cheeks flushed, and sworn that his rejection had not only been fate, but the best thing to ever happen to her. His rejection had paved her way to him. Her true mate.
So Elijah had decided to wait. One week, he’d promised himself – just one week to see if she sent word to him. He’d hesitated, and in hesitating his doubts had flooded him.
But, even if she doubted his heart, Lily would never leave him. She would fight for him. Elijah felt the steady, second heartbeat in his chest, and his breath snagged in his throat. She was still there. She was still his mate.
“You are right,” he said, his words starting out slow and picking up speed as he gained momentum. “Yes – I need her. I never once doubted that. But what if she needs me, too? Oh, Stars – what if I have abandoned her with him, for all this time–” he cut himself off and shook his head. “No. I have delayed long enough.”
Elijah looked between his Beta and his Gamma, and he saw only strength and resilience looking back at him. “Cas, ready yourself,” he said – with the command of an Alpha ringing in his voice. “We leave at dawn.”