CHAPTER 9
Annabelle's POV
I am relieved the words are out, so I release a deep breath. I didn't even realize I have been holding in my breath. Pam is silent much to my surprise.
I am thinking she will exclaim, "what the hell!" or ask if I am stupid to think of such. But she isn't saying anything.
I open my eyes slowly and turn to look at her. She is just watching me, with her face devoid of expression. I don't know what she is thinking and if she is in support. I lean my head down, waiting for something to come out of her mouth.
Pamela has always been the mature one between us and I always runs to her for advice. She is next in line to my mom and I love her.
"You want to abort the baby?" She demands.
"Yes", I answer sharply.
"Why?" Her voice is low.
I shrug. "Mom and I talked last night and we........"
"And she asked you to go for an abortion?" I can sense the disbelief in her tone.
Pamela knows me well and she knows I can never think of such things if someone hadn't put the idea into my head.
"No", I lie. I want to do a cover-up for my mom.
"That's a lie and you know it. Your mom asked you to abort the baby and you agreed", she half-yell. This is a sign of her anger.
"We just thought it's the best idea since there is no money and we can't survive only on mom's meager salary if the baby comes." I offer to explain and justify mom's reason for asking me to abort the baby. I couldn't say no to my mother, even though I don't want the abortion but I just have to succumb to her wish for peace to reign.
"Aren't you old enough to make decisions on your own? What the hell is wrong with you, Anna?"
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I don't like the way she is shouting at me. It is so unlike Pamela to do that to me.
"Give me a good reason to keep the baby. I don't even know the father, I don't know if he is a drug addict or a kidnapper and in the mafia. How should I keep the baby then? The father doesn't even know he is expecting a child", I shout back.
She shakes her head. "This is not about the baby's father, Anna. This is about you. What if you lose your life in the process. What do you think will happen to that woman who even brought this suggestion? Do you think she will ever forgive herself for making you do something against your wish?" Her voice is low now.
"How do you know it is against my wish?"
"I know you, Anna", her left hand is on my shoulder. "You are my innocent pet. You can never think of such on your own."
I am quiet.
"Anna, you have to keep this baby. I can't afford to lose you now or anytime soon."
"I can't", I shake my head in disagreement. "You are old enough to decide on your own. This is your life, not your mother's", she advises me.
"But I can't do this on my own, I need my mother."
"I am here for you, Anna."
"How will I cope with school and being pregnant?" I voice my fear.
"I am here for you", she repeats. "And I will always be."
"What will I tell my baby when she grows up?" I sniff, trying so hard not to burst into tears again. I am deeply troubled and my heart is aching. If I decide to go against mom's wishes, I have no idea what she will do.
"You will cross the bridge when the time comes. Let's be focused on you alone for now." She puts her forehead on mine.
"What will I tell mom, then?" She looks thoughtful for a while.
"You can suspend telling her till your belly begins to protrude but be ready for her tantrum."
I shake my head.
Pam continues. "I have a plan that will work in your best interest."
"What is it?" I question with curiosity.
"I was thinking we could convince your mom to let you keep the pregnancy by getting her a well-paying job..........."
I am not arguing with her. "You know how hard it is to get a good job with good pay", I whine.
"I know, but I can talk to dad...."
"No", I interrupt her sharply.
"Listen to me", she scolds gently. "Dad needs a cook and the pay is good. You aren't asking him for money that way. I am sure she will like it since she is working for the money. All I need to do is tell dad not to look for a cook anymore and your mother can start work as soon as possible." I am silently listening to her talk and thinking of the idea.
The idea is good but it isn't enough to convince mom to stop me from aborting the baby. Mom will still insist on it. I am thinking mom doesn't want the baby not only because she doesn't have money to take care of it but also because of what her friends will say about her precious daughter.
"What do you think of the idea?" Pamela asks me with a grin.
"Mom might still want me to go ahead with the abortion", I tell her. The grin disappears.
"I thought you said she wanted this because of money?" She asks with a big frown on her face.
"Yes, but I think she cares about what people think too." Pamela's angry face was staring at me.
"Are you making a decision or not?" She is sounding angry again. "You owe your life, don't be silly."
I am thinking of the consequences of everything. If I abort the baby, I can go to school without becoming a laughing stock, mom will be proud of me, I can still go into a relationship anytime I want but having a baby now will put a stop to all of that. Mom and I will always fight too and I don't want that. I don't like fighting her.
"Anna", she calls.
"No, Pam", I shake my head again. "I can't, I'm sorry."
"What?" She exclaims with a glare.
"Yes, Pamela. I want you to support me, please. Mom will be mad at me if I don't do what she wants."
"I can't believe you want to abort this baby because of her", Pam gaze at me in disbelief. I look like a fool right now. I feel stupid for telling her in the first place when my mind has already been made up. She almost convinced me but I can't allow it.
If anything happens to me, it will be the consequence of my actions for going to a party and getting drunk.
"Ok, fine. Let's go", she stands up. I don't know what to do so I stand up too. I take a step and look up when I see someone's figure.
Pamela stops walking and I look up to see who it is. I see it is Tony and I smile at him, trying to hide my sadness and to show him he is forgiven for his silly behavior by ignoring me.
He stares at me harshly. "You are pregnant?" He asks, to my surprise.
My heart almost burst out of my chest in dismay.
How did he know?
Pamela and I share a knowing look and before I can answer him, he snorts and begins to walk away with a disgusted look on his face.