My purpose for entering this house was clear.
I needed to see Rozzean Cyron Valleje's negative qualities to show them to my dad. I wanted to find out if he's someone who treats women badly or has a bad attitude. I must prove that he is a womanizer.
But, after a month of staying here, I realized my dad was right.
Rozzean is the kind of man who listens to your explanation before making a decision, no matter your life status.
For someone like me, or even Manang Selya, I didn't expect to be treated like we're not just maids in his life.
He treats us like his own family.
He also appreciates small things done for him. On my first day in his house when he got sick, a simple 'thank you' unexpectedly made me happy.
Now, I see him in a completely different light, not just as his maid but as a woman.
"A-Ahhh..." I couldn't help but moan in pleasure when his finger touched my womanhood.
I feel like I'm being swayed by my emotions. Rozzean lowered his head to my neck while kissing my center. He's cursing, and I can hear him. When I touched his chest, he momentarily pulled away as if he got burned.
When his hand left my entrance, it moved to my breast. He was busy playing with my nipples while kissing my neck. D-Damn... I never thought this is so good.
"Ohh... Rozzean..."
It was a strange feeling for me. I never thought that it would feel like this when a man pleases you in bed. I have never ever had any idea about this. I am a virgin in everything!
When my hands went down to his stomach and to his private area, Rozzean stopped me. He raised my hands, surprising me with his action.
"D-Don't... not yet."
After saying that, he kissed me again on the lips, biting, sucking ahh sht. My lips were numb from his kisses. Our tongues battled while he pressed his body against mine.
Damn it.
I could feel his manhood. It was hard and ready.
And so am I.
What else is there to stop what should happen tonight? I like him, and he likes me too. We are both adults and mature enough to do things like this.
"Hmmm..."
Rozzean separated from me for a moment.
"A-Ahh..."
When I heard his moan, I opened my eyes. Even I was surprised, and it wasn't expected. Seeing the desire on his face parted my lips in awe. We wanted to do this; I wanted to do this with him so badly.
My body aches for me.
I won't regret it something happens.
"Aahhh... uhhmm..."
Rozzean sucked on my left breast. His tongue played my nipple. He bit it so well that my left hand went to the back of his head. I wanted him to know that it feels good. So good.
"Tali..."
But when I heard that name, my hand on his head slowly went down.
I suddenly got scared. Not in our current situation where I know something is about to happen that I never thought of planning.
I'm afraid of going back to my real world as Thaliana and seeing him.
How do I explain everything to him?
Rozzean leaned down on me. He was smiling at me. His genuine smile. He gently held my cheeks and pressed his forehead against mine.
"We should stop here."
That stunned me.
Stop? Why?
"I don't want you to think I'm rushing too much. I want to make it clear to you that this wasn't my intention."
My lips parted. How many times will Rozzean surprise me with these words? With these decisions?
We can actually do it because I gave in. I allowed him.
Ohh, Rozzean!
"This is not what I intended when I came here. This is not what I wanted to happen. My emotions took over when I saw you naked."
"I'm sorry if we reached this point too quickly. I don't want you to think that I'm only interested in your body."
He took the blanket from the side and immediately wrapped it around me. He helped me sit up too.
I was looking at him. I couldn't believe what he said.
He doesn't want to continue! Indeed a gentleman!
"R-Rozzean..."
He kissed my forehead, then my nose. When his gaze reached my lips, I thought he was going to kiss me, but he only ran his finger below my lips.
"Let's take everything slow."
"Let me show you that I'm sincere about what I said to you, that I like you and I want a good life with you."
Truthfully, I saw that he was serious when he said he likes me. He's jealous to the point that even looking at his brother seems forbidden. Several times earlier, he emphasized that him going out with Klari was not a date.
He tried to make me understand that I have no reason to be jealous.
This is the kind of assurance that women want. Something that doesn't require them to ask, where the man they love tells them to dispel any doubts or insecurities they may feel.
And Rozzean did his best to explain what really happened when he and Klari left the house, even though I didn't ask about it.
Now, he doesn't want to continue what's happening between us because he's afraid I might think he's only interested in my body.
"You don't have to say sorry. I never thought that you only liked me for this or t-to have s'x with me."
When I looked up at him, I held his cheeks.
"Make love, baby... make love not s'x"
Damn. I was stunned by that for a moment. He's really a good man like what my father said.
I can't think of the right word to describe him.
"I-I like you too, b-but I just didn't want to believe it at first because of what happened in the kitchen that night we talked."
But I know that was just an excuse for me. In admitting and giving a reason why I didn't tell him my feelings, I was still lying to him. I just couldn't confess the truth to him because of my situation as Tali.
If I am in front of him as Thaliana, I would confess my feelings without thinking of what would happen next.
But, this is my fault. I was so into the thought that I am already content with my life and I don't want to get married. That's why I came up with the decision of pretending as a housemaid to spy on him.
I didn't expect that I would fall for him.
"It's my fault, so I understand. You can't accept my feelings because you might think I'm just playing with you."
No, Rozzean... this is not your fault. Clearly, in this situation, in our situation, I was the one playing with you.
"Do you think anyone would take a maid like you seriously?"
I bit my lower lip.
"But I am not that kind of person, Tali."
He wrapped his hands around my back and hugged me slowly. My tears are about to fall because of my mixed emotions.
Fear, joy, apprehension... all mixed up.
"I don't look at a woman's social status, whether she's rich or not, or if she can contribute to my business like how you see Klari. And I certainly don't judge based on looks, I've proven that to you, right?"
I chuckled and punched him a little, making him laugh. Okay, but I don't look that bad as Tali.
Fake freckles, a mole, thick eyebrows that aren't obvious because of my thick fake bangs.
"But, why me?" I asked him.
I felt his face on my neck. He's sniffing me again and it tickles.
"I felt the care that I wanted to feel for a long time."
The smile faded from my lips when I heard what he said.
I turned my face to Rozzean. That was an unexpected reason. I pulled away from him and looked at his face. When I saw his eyes, my eyebrows furrowed as I discerned sadness in them.
"I felt in you the feeling I've been searching for all my life. The care that I longed for since I was a kid. Those eyes that always look at me, waiting for my arrival. Always eager to see me. The nurturing you do..."
Why...
"Rozzean..."
I felt concern as his expression changed. I lifted my right hand and held his cheek. He placed one of his hands there and closed his eyes.
"I never felt this kind of feeling before."
"The feeling that someone is always looking for you and waiting."
What happened to him? I felt his sadness, and even in his eyes it shows it. He seems to be going through something hard. I felt and noticed it when I first came here because of what Manang said.
And now Rozzean's words and the look in his eyes convey a depth of emotion I haven't seen.