ESTELLE
I hadn’t heard from Linden in hours, and he didn’t pick up my call. I started to get worried, but I would know if something had changed in his plans.
I was still curious about how Hanslo could possibly help him from prison. I may know nothing about how things work in Osmium, but just the tensions and his sleepless nights, I had a feeling what was going on was bigger than Jasper’s missing.
I went home to my house quickly when I felt a little more tired than before.
“Do you need anything?” Qamar asked.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“I already booked a movers company. They can have your things in two days.”
“Thank you, Micah.” I blew a huge breath as I went to my closet to change from my work clothes. “I feel like I can sleep the whole day.”
“Where is she?”
I quickly covered myself with my unbuttoned shirt when I heard Linden’s stern voice asking for me. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I couldn’t believe I still felt when we’d been dating for almost three months now.
“Why are you here?”
I expected a little affection, maybe kissing me on my lips or wrapping me in his strong arms because it had been a long day, and I really wanted some cuddling.
“Why did you cover yourself when I’ve seen it all?” He snorted, blocking the door. Whatever upset Linden, this must be huge.
“Are you drunk?” I asked, but his eyes weren’t red. His whole face, though, was red from anger.
“Do I look like I’m drunk?”
My brow arched. “Okay. I get it. You’re moody. Things didn’t go well with your plan. Let me change. Then we can talk about whatever put your boxers in a twist.” I turned around to open a drawer when he threw a question that almost knocked me down.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Are you planning on telling me, Estelle?”
Slowly, I turned to face him and braced myself against the drawer because I knew exactly the meaning of those questions. “What are you talking about?”
“How long have you known that we’re having a child?”
With complete shock, I gasped. My ears started to buzz. My pulse pounded. When I thought I was prepared for this moment, I was wrong. I couldn’t say a word. I was choked with my own lie for weeks. I became voiceless about my own doing. I should have told him the first day I found out.
He stalked closer in my direction. His eyes filled with absolute devastation and betrayal from me. “Are you going to answer my question? Was it last month? Or after you come back? Because I knew when we slept unprotected. I know what I did, and if we got pregnant, I was ready to take that responsibility.”
I swallowed hard. For argument’s sake, I would lay out my point even if it seemed pointless now. “I was about to tell you, but—”
“But what? What do you think I would do?” His question was always on point, making my attempts less effective and pathetic. I was losing the battle, and it hadn’t gotten to the worst part.
“I’m asking you, Estelle.” His voice raised and became harsher.
Micah came. “Is everything okay in there?”
“It’s fine.”
“Leave us, Micah, or should I blame you too?” He didn’t even look at Micah, but his voice alone made my poor assistant step back.
“Gabriel, she has nothing to do with it.”
“Leave.” He pointed a finger at poor Micah, and she couldn’t do anything but do as he said.
“I know you’re mad at me, but you can’t mistreat her like that.”
“Define mad because I honestly don’t know what I feel right now.” He drew a long deep breath and looked up. His jaw locked when he looked at me again, and I thought I froze and melted at the same time. He was furious, and I’d never seen him like this.
“Six weeks.”
“Six fucking weeks? You’ve been having my child for six fucking weeks, and you never planned on telling me?” He raised his finger, eyes cold. “Wait. Are you about to get engaged to the piece of shit and marry him while you are having a child? What the fuck, Estelle?” His voice startled me, dripping with utter devastation.
“Will you stop raising your voice and cursing me?”
“So now it bothers you, huh? You will— that fucker—” His anger had seemed to make him lost in his words.
A sharp pound on the door interrupted us, giving me a little time to breathe and think of the next words I would say because, right now, nothing was going to calm him down.
“Is everything okay?” Qamar walked in.
“Get the fuck out,” Linden just ordered Qamar.
“Are you okay?” Qamar still asked me, despite his boss ordering him to get out.
“I said get out, Tarique. This is between me and the mother of my child.” The word mother coming from him gave a little shiver down my spine. I almost shuddered.
“Congratulations. I’ll be right outside if you need me, Ms. Bladwyn.” Wait, Qamar didn’t know? I thought he did, but his reaction said it all. Or he was probably faking it before his boss.
Once Qamar was gone, Linden began pacing, making me more anxious and terrified.
“Fuck,” a single curse word should piss me off, but it was a word of god. I shut up. Fuck!” A loud thud followed. The rattling of the closet door startled me, making me yelp. “Fuck!” He did it again until the broken mirror scattered on the floor.
I stayed where I was, froze in my place. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn’t. I knew he was not violent. I knew he would never harm me, and my child— our child, but I made him this mad.
He smacked his forehead against the attached broken glass. I was scared that he might hurt himself.
“Do you know how it makes me feel knowing he’s gonna touch you? I would never forgive myself if he laid a hand and raised my child,” he said with a heavy sigh.
I ignored the burn of pain and fury inside my chest. He had the right to be mad, and there was nothing I could say that calmed him. I just wished I could have told him before he found out from someone— from whom?
“If I had not done anything, you’re probably with him right now, and what do you think he would do to you if he found out you’re having a child with another man, Estelle? Because right now, I don’t feel anything than wanting to crush his windpipe and every one of those who put you in that situation.”
“Gabriel, will you please, calm down? You’re scaring me.” My attempt failed.
He still hadn’t faced me when he said something that crushed my heart. “I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear watching you with him. And you almost let that happen because you won’t sacrifice Star for me, for us. Jesus Christ, Estelle. That’s our child. We made that together, and you are just gonna take her away from me to be with that disgusting piece of shit?”
“Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was pregnant while I was about to lose everything I worked hard for and be with that jerk? I’d thought about it but never considered it, even for a second. I was losing my mind, and I never thought of giving it up because this is part of me. This child is my—”
His head snapped, eyes narrowed at me, burning holes into my head. “And mine, Estelle. Do you know how I feel finding out you’re having my child from a convict?”
“Never a day went by. I didn’t think about telling you.” My tears fell. My voice cracked. “About how I should bring it up and tell you I’m pregnant, but you have a lot going on. I was in the middle of losing my life’s work. I may have a plan if things won’t work if I have to give up my company. At least my child has a future. I asked my lawyer for TOF to your name.” If things didn’t go well, I still had the signed documents in my safe.
“Do you think I’m not capable of raising my own? I will give up everything for our child, Estelle. No question asks. Hell, if I was given no choice, I would give up everything for you, but you can’t do it for me, can you? Because you have doubted my intention from the very beginning, and I can’t ever gain your trust back. You thought all relationships and marriages would end up like your parents. Look at mine. A single father raised me, but I still believe you. I still believe you get something back when you work for it and never give up on it.”
“You’re maybe right. I am scared of failing. I am scared of losing the people I care about.”
“Without even trying?”
“What do you think I am doing?” Now I was the one pissed off. “Do you think you are the one making sacrifices to make this relationship work? I lost my father’s trust. I almost lost my job because I chose to be with you.”
“No! You didn’t lose his trust because he never trusted you in the first place. He sold you out. He wanted Star for himself, Estelle. Why do you think Moses and I did our best to help you? Because those greedy are not good for you. Yeah, I made a lot of mistakes, but I never gave up on the people who mean to me, and I will never give up on the things I believe are right.”
“I’m sorry.” All I could do was gulp.
“I don’t need your apology. What I want to know is, what are you scared about?”
“Since from the start, you made your point of wanting to settle down and have kids. I wasn’t ready, and I don’t think I am. That’s the truth.”
“So you think you can run away with it? Even the hell freezes over, you’re going nowhere. Mark my word, woman.”
“What are you going to do, huh?” I placed my hands on my hips. My shirt broke free. His gaze fell on my abdomen, and I had to look away when those eyes dripped with so much pain and regret.
“From now on, you stay in my house. You go to work and come back home unless you have an appointment—”
My stomach rolled. “I’m not doing that.”
He glared at me. “You’re in no position to make any demands. This is not a negotiation.”
“You’re keeping me hostage?” I glared back, challenging him even if I knew I was losing this fight.
“Call it whatever you want. And get ready because I am not having my kid out of wedlock.”
“You’re not serious!”
“I.AM.FUCKING.SERIOUS.” His words stiffened my back and widened my eyes further.
My argument would be useless, but I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to win without a fight. The amount of anger in my chest made me want to burst into flame.
“What if I don’t wanna marry you?”
“Do you think you have a choice?”
When I couldn’t answer, he turned around, went out, and slammed the door, startling me. That was it. He just left.
“Asshole!”
When the door pushed open, I froze. His face peeked in, “Try not to get used to saying that word. Every bad word you say to me, you will pay for it.”
“What about you?”
“I’m a man.”
“Wow. You suddenly turn into this anti-feminist sick asshole, huh?”
When he prowled back, like a predator stalking his prey, I stepped back, but I already reached the wall, and I had nowhere to go when he caged me in his arms.
“Let me get this straight, Estelle.” His breath fanning my face as he leaned in so close our noses almost touched. “Since you don’t believe in a long-lasting relationship, I will give it to you because this is what you want, right? I will marry you for my child, and they will take my name. Once you give birth, do you want a divorce? File right away. I don’t give a shit. But I will provide child support, everything they need, and expect me to be around in every first thing my child will do. Don’t worry. I won’t take my child away from you because I know what it feels like growing up without a mother. If you want to remarry, up to you, but I will make sure he will pass the criteria of being a good stepfather because if I find out he lies a hand on my child, I will cut his finger one by one until I’m satisfied.”