CHAPTER 108
SEBASTIAN’S POV
My rage and frustration-filled gaze at her softened the moment she revealed I wasn’t the problem. That Hermes was.
“Hermes?” I uttered in disbelief, my features scrunching up.
“Yes,” she mumbled. Her lips pressed firmly together as she tried to speak from the ocean of sobs and whimpers racking her insides. “That bastard caused me a great deal of pain….he broke me and now, I can’t live my life without those memories replaying in my head and hunting me. It hurts…it fucking hurts Sebastian. I want to forget….I want to stop thinking about them but I don’t know how…”
She gave into the compulsive sobs that shook her like a violent tremor, letting it all out. She was shaken, unable to maintain a steady control. The moment I noticed, I rushed and held her close, preventing her from crumpling to the floor.
I let her take refuge in my body as she feebly wrapped her hands around me. Her sharp intake of breath filled the room and her outburst of emotions wetted my bare chest but I didn’t mind.
I just wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone in this. That she could always count on me. Always run to me in terms of need and trouble. I will be with her from dusk till dawn. From sunset to sunset I will hold her close. We will get through this shit together and whoever tries to cause her pain again will face my wrath. That I promise.
“I love you and want to make real careless love to you…” she sniffled in a thick sob and managed to say through her ragged breath. “I want to stop making you jump through pools to get to me. I want to stop pushing you away, I want to be able to return the love you give me, but it’s so fucking hard with these memories eating through me like a fucking parasite…”
“Shhh….” I stopped her from saying anything further. “To move forward in life, we need to let go of the past. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m here to help with it every step of the way. Together, we will get through this shit together. Together we’ll erase every nasty memory and undo all the damage that bastard caused you.”
She nodded her head in my chest, her tears and sobs subsiding. I felt relieved knowing it.
Initially, I thought Catherine was the only barrier stopping us from being together. Turns out I was wrong. We still had another storm to weather. A shadow from the past to confront.
I never realized the extent of damage Hermes had inflicted on her. I wonder what sort of dehumanizing treatment he had subjected her to for her to feel this way.
The last time I met him was at Nolan’s funeral months ago. We engaged in a serious fight in the bar because he said he was going to take Brianna back. What a stupid fool! I can’t believe the boldness.
After everything he made her pass through, what makes him think I’ll let him lay another of his filthy fingers on her? If I have to kill him with my bare hands to prevent that from happening, I’ll do it without holding back. Without the slightest remorse.
I lowered my head to look at Brianna. She was calm, her breathing even now. I kissed the top of her head and held her closer, feeling the meek tenderness of her body against mine. It won’t be easy helping her forget all that bad memories but I’m willing to take up the challenge.
“Come with me,” I pulled away slightly and cupped her tender, tear-stained face with both my hands. “I want to show you something.”
“To your room?”
“Yes,”
She looked away as though that bothered her but tried not to show it much.
“If you’re not okay with it then we can stay here,” I suggested, sensing her unease.
“No…” she insisted with a nervous smile. “I’m okay with it. Let’s go.”
I shrugged, not bothering again since she insisted.
We settled for robes. We didn’t need to put our clothes on because I didn’t see the need for them. My room wasn’t so far from hers and once we were done with all these, we just might continue from where we stopped on bed. That is if she wanted. I won’t pressure her. She’d been through a lot already.
Catherine and I used to share this room. So it still had some of our robes and stuff in it. Good thing that under my instructions, the head maid informed the other maids not to pack Catherine’s stuff that was in this room when the truck driver arrived to take her things away.
Brianna was using some of them. I was kind of shocked to learn Catherine left them for her because it was unlike her to share her stuff whether she was still using them or not. Though they stayed long, most of them were still in good condition. They should because Catherine went shopping a lot and always bought stuff like there was no tomorrow even when she didn’t need them.
As we stepped out, Brianna was worried some of the maids might see us. But I assured her they won’t. It was already late. By now, most of them have returned to their quarters and the ones coming from the town have already gone back after work.
I saw no reason for her to bother about anyone seeing us. Sooner or later, they’ll know. And if everything goes well, which I know will, I might just put a ring on it and announce our engagement to the entire kingdom.