Ivy worried too much. She worried about the family she was staying with for so many trifle reasons. She worried about Meredith's brother, Neil, and the way he'd looked at her so darkly the day she'd been going into Elder Baker's home. She worried about Meredith, too. Sweet, sweet Meredith that was nothing but good to her. She even worried about the kind Alpha, Blake who'd rescued her. But, her worry about him was different: she worried about the way she thought of him, the way his face was stuck in her head like it had been pasted there with glue. And his Beta. Of course, she worried about the broody Beta that acted like he didn't have a beating heart beneath his skin, pounding in his chest.
And what good was all the worrying doing to her? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Still, it was like her mind worked of its own accord, bringing up new thoughts every minute of the day; bringing up scenarios that either caused her to shiver or make her skin crawl at the mere thought.
So, when Meredith came by the Baker's house where she was staying to transition into the pack later in the day, she took her hand in hers and they walked out like soul sisters. Before then, she'd been locked in her room of her own accord, counting the number of clouds she could make out through her bedroom window and swinging her legs suspended in the air. Then she'd heard a knock, and Mady came to call her, face so neutral, and inform her that her pretty friend was around.
When the girl had said the word, pretty, she'd said in it a way that her lips curled, like she'd used the word to convey another hidden meaning, one more biting than the word she'd let loose from her tongue. Then, after delivering her message, she'd stood there, eyes locked with her as if challenging her to speak, to demand for the word she was hiding. But, Ivy wasn't about to give in to the girl's wiles, she was, after all, living under their roof and protection and one wrong move could scatter it all.
When she stepped out into the living room, she could already smell the meal being prepared in the kitchen. Mrs Baker loved to cook and if there was one thing she was very sure she wasn't worried about, it was her food. When they sat to eat their meals on the dining table adjoined with the kitchen, she didn't have to pretend to be happy, her smile was always genuine because the food was always so delicious in all its homemade goodness.
Meredith stood up from the sofa she'd been lounging on, flipping mindlessly through a magazine, and smiled at her when she came into her view.
"Let's go somewhere."
Ivy looked down at her dress. It was an okay dress with a flay bottom and a sleeveless arm. She was also wearing leggings underneath it. It was a warm day, and she didn't want to put on a jacket, so she returned the smile, careful with her every move because the Baker girl was watching, and told her to inform her mother that she was going out with Meredith. The girl gave an absent-minded nod.
Everything was fine. Or, even if it wasn't fine, it was going to be fine soon. She would be fine. She would soon blend in with the pack and no one would be giving her odd looks like they were waiting for her to morph into another creature that wasn't a wolf. The problem was that she just didn't exactly know how to learn to blend in with this new pack. It was hard. Harder than she expected.
They walked aimlessly, or akin to that, and stopped just a few meters away from the house, close to a section filled with an impressive number of trees. There were so many trees, so many fruits, so much life in the pack, it was refreshing. It almost felt like she was in a vacation away from civilization. In fact, it was like that. The only difference was that she was going to be staying here for a long, long time.
"What are we doing here, Meredith?" she asked, scanning around for any significant thing there, her heart slowly picking up speed in its rhythm in her chest.
"Oh, we're getting close to the training venue. I just wanted to pause for us to catch our breath."
Ivy looked around, not seeing anything in sight. What training venue was Meredith talking about? She voiced it out: "What training venue?"
Meredith's brows creased, looking at her oddly. When next she spoke, she seemed to be counting her words. "You said you couldn't control your turning which is why you missed the hunt we had last week, so Mrs Baker told me about it, and I'm volunteering to accompany you to where newly turned wolves train to control their wolf. So, maybe, that can help."
"What?"
Her hands were suddenly cold. Mrs Baker had told Meredith that? Now, she was worried. What was up with the woman? Why was she divulging information to Meredith so freely? And, why was Meredith suddenly poking into her business and subtly trying to tell her what to do? Nobody was going to control her life. Not anymore. Not in this pack. She tried to regulate her breathing, but it seemed fruitless as she was obviously stewing.
When she spoke, she looked Meredith directly in the eyes, as if challenging her to dare to lie. "Why did she tell you that, Meredith? Why did she tell you something I confided in her with?"
"What's wrong? I asked her. I didn't see you during the hunt so I asked. I was worried. Nothing else." Meredith laughed it off, taking her hand and pulling her forward.
How had she gotten into this mess? She was still stewing but Meredith seemed oblivious or she was either pretending not to notice as she pulled her further past the trees and on and on until they came upon a cleared path with a warehouse style building that was so large it was hard to miss.
The warehouse style building was made of wood, that she could tell. It was big and daunting as she looked at it and since the sun was hiding behind the tall trees that surrounded it, she couldn't make a lot of details out.
They only stopped for a few seconds, but before she could suck in enough air, Meredith was already dragging her on towards the building.
When they got closer, Ivy could hear a lot of noises. Even before she got in, she already pictured what she'd see, and wasn't ready to see it.
"Ivy?" Meredith tugged her the last way in, reminding her that underneath the soft facade was the woman who'd been selected among the few to accompany their Alpha to a battle, the crew that eventually met her in danger and rescued her.
"Yea?" she said, hoping her voice wasn't as low as it sounded in her head. Her heart was pounding so loudly, accompanied by the sound of younglings and older instructors shouting from inside the building.
Finally, Meredith pushed open the door and she was immediately assaulted by a variety of things. Her senses were in an overload and her nerves were suddenly all over the place.
There were so many teenagers that gave off the same air that the Baker twins did. There were so many of the strange faces that had looked at her openly when she'd arrived, refusing to greet her because she was a stranger. There was Neil, too. She quickly turned from his direction, where he was teaching a small boy how to defend himself from a punch. When she turned, much to her further dismay, she locked eyes with the Beta, who sneered at her. That was an upgrade, at least, from his usual nonchalant facial look.
It smelled like sweat and old fish stock. It looked like they'd crammed everything in one. Like a bad cross between a gym and a martial arts center with no clear division, just chaos in the making.
She could hardly find females there, and the few she did find were so muscular she could hardly tell if they were females or males until one faced her and she could clearly make out the definition of her breast.
Was this where Meredith wanted her to go to so badly?
"Meredith, I think this is a bad idea. This place isn't for me."
"Ivy, what are you saying? You have to find a compromise. You have to try to mingle in with the pack and participate in at least one of the activities. How else will you bond?"
"I have you. What do I need again? I'm not one to make friends."
"Just try. You don't look like you're trying."
"I don't? Thought I had fooled you with my smiling face."
Her stomach was beginning to rebel from the creeping hunger and fear cooking up a hurricane within her. She held her stomach as the first pang of pain hit, playing the dramatic card a little more than she normally would.
Turning so fast, she pushed open the door, and with the way it screeched loudly, she knew that a handful of the wolves had turned to look at her. But, before Meredith could try to stop her and before she could give in to her curiosity and see the expression on their faces, she made a beeline for the edge of the trees and leaned down as if she wanted to throw up.
Instead of vomit like she'd hoped, just spit left her mouth. Still, she crouched for further effort before finally rolling into the ground covered in fallen leaves to get a hang of herself.
Meredith followed her, of course. She watched her approach her with a worried expression. Yes, her performance had been convincing enough. She plastered a sour expression on her face, remembering what it'd felt like to taste vomit in her mouth the one time she'd had food poisoning and vomited for long hours at a stretch, sitting by the toilet to avoid messing herself up.
Meredith sat beside her and didn't say a word for a long time. They just sat there together in silence listening to the birds chirping and the wind rustling the trees.
Finally, Meredith turned to her and said, "What, exactly, is the problem? You can talk to me."
"I don't know what the problem is."
Meredith heaved a loud sigh, but still sat there patiently.
What was wrong with her, thought Ivy. What, exactly, was wrong with her! She had no idea how to voice it out.
What was she going to say? That she didn't think a wolf was living inside her? How was she supposed to utter those words in a pack full of wolves who'd taken her in because they'd thought she was a wolf? Wasn't that equivalent to the highest form of deceit.
Or, was she to just spill her secrets? Was she to unleash the venom waiting in her? The venom that had caused her to be called Poison Ivy many years ago.
"Look, Meredith—"
"Ladies, what are you both doing out here?" came a voice from behind them, from behind the trees and not the usual path that they'd followed, the usual path everyone followed.
They turned together, and in front of them, much to Ivy's surprise, was Alpha Blake.
What the hell?
Her day was officially getting even more weird.