One simple kiss is on replay and in my dreams. No not a simple kiss because never in my life has any man ever kissed me the way Shane did.
At least today I hope to focus on something else, because I am just now parking in Gram's driveway. She knows the best fashion, so I gathered several of my dresses to have her help me pick the one for the vet convention I am flying out to in the morning.
The front door flies open and Gram walks out quickly. Oreo barks and starts trying to dance in the seat next to me at the sight of Gram.
I get out with Oreo and Fluffier quick to follow. They both leave me and dash straight for Gram. Hearing as she greets them both equally, I grab all the hangers and close the door back to make my way up the few steps.
"Hi Gram." I smile as she pulls me in for a side hug.
"Hi my sweet girl. Let's get inside so I can see what treats you brought me to choose from. It was a shock when you said last week we be doing this instead of shopping like before, but I know you have so many pretty things." Grams talks quickly with excitement in her voice.
I step inside and the one place I can let my guard down just crumbles. The smell of Gram's house is the best, with the fruity scents or baked goods depending on the day.
"My, my sweet girl. You are smiling more than I have ever seen before. Have you finally got you a man in your life? Can I be expecting great grandbabies soon?"
"No not at all Gram." I laugh.
"Well the baby part anyways. As for the man part I'm so confused in a way and I don't know if anything could even be there." I sigh and lay the dresses over the back of the couch.
Gram laughs and sits in the chair across from the couch. "I knew babies would have to wait but I got my sweet girl to laugh. Little Lo told me all about what she done the other day with the trucker."
I sit on the couch just to the side where the dresses stretch out over it.
"Yeah Lola had been very sneaky doing that." I smile.
"My granddaughters are very clever. My little Lo knows what her big sister needs. I will cheer her on for it all too."
"But Gram what if history repeats itself? I can't live through something like that and especially not when it would be just worse. Besides, Shane is an over the road trucker I don't see how it could ever work out between us or if he would even want something like that." I sigh and lean back on the couch.
Oreo sits by Gram's feet as Fluffier jumps in her lap.
Gram's suck in a deep breath of air as she looks at me. "Sweet girl, you can't be scared of the future or let all of the past define you. Not when what happened affected you differently then this will. No one knew that would happen all those years ago. If you do fear the future the worst will happen because living alone is no fun. No you need to share your life and love with someone that is the perfect fit."
"How would I even know if a guy is the perfect fit?"
"By how he treats you and how you feel about him. When the right one comes into your life the barrier will break and he will consume you it will be deeper than lust or want. As it develops into love you know because all emotions come to play. Your heart will guide you if you trust it and not fight against what it is telling you too. Remember somethings have to come from the heart and not the mind. This like some could be instant or slow grow." Gram rocks in her rocking chair some.
"I fear the worry would still there though Gram. The last thing I want for me to feel like mom has for so long, or goodness forbid a child of my own to feel like Lola and me."
"Don't worry about the future just live in the present. Never watch like a hawk or pick fights because that will drive anyone to do what your saying. Best thing is don't worry unless there is signs for you to worry and those signs would be clear as the day is long. Ask your mother she nows understands the best there, sweet girl."
I sit up and watch as both fur babies fall asleep.
"There is some tea in the kitchen, sweet girl. Why don't you grab a cup and we will go through your dresses as you tell me about this young man?"
I stand from the couch. "That sounds great Gram. You always know what to say." I smile and walk over to hug her again watching not to smash on Fluffier.
"I speak the truth." Gram pats my back.
I pull back as she smiles at me.
"Would you like anything from the kitchen?"
"I got my tea right here so I am all set." Gram smiles, picking her cup up.
I walk to the kitchen and make myself a cup before walking out to the living room again. Taking a sip of the earthy liquid, before I set it on the coffee table.
"Where should we start?" I look at the dresses and to Gram.
"I got all day and want to see it all so from the top. Do you know about shoes to wear?"
I nod. "Yes, I plan on flats or my black two inch heels. If I go higher than two inches I risk breaking my neck."
We both laugh but it is true for me. Between my sister and myself, I am the clumsy one most of the time but I can run if need be.
Gram and I pick out a dress that is knee length and I can easily wear my flats since it is not the most elegant dress from the pile. Make-up options are simple with it too so I can just do a natural tone shades. As for my hair that is easy, a classy but simple roll up bun.
I stay the entire day with Gram and we make dinner together. Mom and Lola join us for dinner which is so nice to spend time as a family.
Right as I get in my car with Oreo and Fluffier, I realize my phone was in here the entire time. Reaching down I pick it up and see a miss call from Shane.
My heart picks up speed and it also hurts all at once that I missed his call but I was spending time with Gram and dinner as a family. My mind goes back to what Gram had told me earlier today.
With Gram's words in my mind, I press the redial button instead of just waiting to see if he calls me back again.