"Ok. I'll surprise you."
"Sons don't surprise their mothers. We see right through our sons." She held my arm and I walked us to the car. I closed her door after she was in and ran to my side. I was very careful backing out "because there are crazy drivers that use this street like it was a racetrack."
Ma told me all the neighborhood gossip. Mrs. Goldman had to have surgery for a gall stone. Ma was surprised she didn't bring it home from the hospital and put it on the mantle. Mr. Levine hired a new secretary and invited her for dinner. The woman is a bleached blond! And, she's single. The man at the corner bought a new car. He has lived at the corner for fifteen years but, because he isn't Jewish, Ma cannot utter his name. It's Johnson.
When we got to our new neighborhood Ma looked things over. She stopped talking and watched. We passed a Chinese restaurant and she almost smiled. We passed a deli and she did smile. "I've eaten there. The woman who owns it is a nice woman." She said.
When the car stopped in our driveway she said, "It's big. Old?"
"Built in the sixties Ma. It's barely older than me."
"Good. If it was as old as me it would be falling apart like me."
"You're right Ma. Look your right arm just fell off." I made like I was bending to pick up her lost body part and she swung her purse at me.
I helped her up the steps, not because she needed the help but because it is "how a son shows respect." I opened the door and called out, "We're here."
Ma was looking at the living room when Sadie came through the kitchen door. Ma's eyes opened wide and she said, "This Jennifer looks Jewish."
"Really? I think she looks Scandinavian." Sadie hugged Ma and backed away. Allison was next and Ma almost fell.
"This one is pregnant! Is this Jennifer?" I knew she was joking. Jenn and I had been having Thursday dinner with her for months.
"No, ma'am. I'm Allison, Jenn's sister." She put out her hand and Ma took it. A voice from the kitchen was heard, "I'll be right there. I need to wash my hands."