Eris’s Chest is Padded!
Even though these words were spoken by a Goddess, they represent something barely different from a demon’s temptation.
Just like the classics "Polishing the Rocket", "Solo Mission", "Shaking Hands with the Governor", and "Wrestling the One-Eyed Snake", it could be considered a timeless classic in the "human Bible".
No, as the Goddess Aqua, her words represent the true intentions of the Water Goddess and can themselves be passed down as scripture — even if they are absurd and nonsensical.
"Hearken unto me, wayward soul... Approach and confess thy transgressions before the divine. The Lord who receiveth thy confession shall grant thee absolution for thy sins. Fear not, for thou needst only speak with true contrition that which dwelleth in the depths of thy heart."
{T/N: Sheakspeare in the park?... Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?}
Even though she had repeated it dozens of times today, as the Goddess of Water, Aqua remained tireless.
Was it because this was her first time seeing a devotee? When she saw it was Adam, her voice became more animated, seemingly very happy.
She had this desire to demonstrate her professionalism as a priestess (Goddess) to Adam, or perhaps she wanted to prove her worth through this method...?
"Aqua... what’s with this ’wayward soul’ business? I’m already your representative, a member of the Axis Cult, right?"
Adam’s words made Aqua fall silent for a moment.
Then, she changed her script.
"...Hark, mine beloved disciple, whatsoever tribulations doth beset thy path, thou mayest confide in mine divine presence. As thy Goddess most sovereign, I shall verily grant thee absolution for thy transgressions."
{T/N: O Goddess most divine, thy wit runs shallow as thy element! Doth thy wisdom evaporate when heated?}
"I do have a concern... The high priestess in my party might have done something rather priestly, so she’s having too much fun... she doesn’t seem to want to come back."
It was almost explicitly stated. Even if Aqua was an idiot, she should understand his hidden meaning.
You’ve played enough, it’s time to come back.
But Adam severely underestimated her. This idiot, enjoying others’ flattery, after "helping" many of her followers out of their "gloom", actually became more eager to stay here as the Goddess who resolves their problems.
"I see, so you feel jealous because the priestess in your party shines so brightly that she overshadows you... Don’t worry, deeply reflect on your sins. This way, the merciful Goddess Aqua will surely forgive your transgressions."
{T/N: I’ll stop using Shakespearean now, I’ve had enough fun...}
"Hey... that’s pretty harsh."
Aqua was clearly deliberately distorting the facts. Using her position as a counseling priestess to force Adam to admit fault.
"I see, I understand now." Adam knew he had to use his trump card, "...Looking back, I did indeed do something wrong."
"Eh...?! What, what?!" Aqua, hearing his words, was extremely surprised and excited, "Adam actually thinks he did something wrong? What could it be?"
This girl... Rather than focusing on herself, she’s more interested in my mistakes?
Fine! Since you put it that way, I’ll tell you.
"I accidentally made a move on a party member."
"I said, I, as the leader of the Hero Party, accidentally made a move on one of my party members."
Aqua was extremely shocked. She slammed the table and stood up, her blue eyes wide open, staring directly at Adam through the confessional partition, utterly astonished by what this man had just said.
"Who, who is it?! Who exactly?!"
"Is it Megumin and Yunyun?"
"What...! Ah—! Aaaaaaahhh—!!! Adam, you idiot!"
Seeing his silence, Aqua immediately realized it wasn’t either of the two she mentioned, but the one she found most unacceptable.
She suddenly stood up, forcefully pushed open the door of her confessional, and rushed toward Adam, taking two steps in three strides.
Aqua violently broke through the door and pounced on him. Grabbing his neck and shaking it violently, she tearfully vented her dissatisfaction.
Ah, she’s angry. Really angry.
"Adam is an idiot—! Why! Why specifically Darkness who belongs to the Eris Church, why—!"
"...THAT’S the issue—?!"
Adam thought she might be jealous, or angry and resentful — developments he had anticipated.
But he never expected that what angered Aqua was the fact that "Darkness belongs to the Eris Church".
Where did things go wrong?
"You... Adam, you are... you are the representative of me, the Water Goddess, you’re my follower, right! Why, why... Why would you make a move on Darkness, a follower of the Eris Church! I can’t believe it, aaaahhhh—!!!"
Tears and snot flew everywhere. Aqua felt an unprecedented sense of betrayal.
"It’s over... my follower has been bewitched by Eris... I was thinking that even if I don’t return to heaven, living with Adam wouldn’t be bad... Why, why would Adam choose a follower of Eris! No matter how I look at it, I’m the one being abandoned! No... I don’t want this—! I want to live with Adam, I don’t want to be abandoned!"
Aqua made a desperate ’confession’ with all her might.
She could already imagine Adam marrying Darkness and converting to Eris’s faith. Would there still be any reason for her to exist?
"Ah... calm down, calm down, Aqua, it was a joke, just a joke." Seeing her so agitated, Adam quickly lied to comfort her.
He hadn’t expected her reaction to be so intense. There was no choice but to hide the truth for now.
"You’re not lying to me?"
"Why did Adam hesitate?"
"...No, it’s nothing."
Adam’s conscience ached. In this confessional, he had lied to the deity he worshipped.
A sense of guilt welled up.
"By the way, why is Darkness not acceptable? Just because she’s a follower of the Eris Church?"
"Of course! If Adam gets together with Darkness, wouldn’t my follower be taken away? Think about it, doesn’t this mean my follower has been seduced by Eris? I absolutely refuse to allow such a thing!"
It wasn’t specifically targeting Eris; Aqua truly valued her followers.
Unlike Eris, who had numerous followers due to currency circulation, Aqua’s followers were few — just one town.
Aqua was Eris’s senior, but she didn’t act like one. If she lost any more followers, she really couldn’t call herself a senior anymore.
"...Speaking of which, isn’t Darkness part of your clan? No matter how you look at it, she’s your follower... in the practical sense."
"Ah! Yes... I forgot!"
This foolish Goddess who’s jealous of her own clan member. Even now, she’s trying to act cute to avoid punishment?
Although Darkness still claims to be a follower of Eris, she had effectively ceased to be one when she accepted Aqua’s blessing.
The reason she still calls herself a follower of Eris, apart from not having corrected herself yet, is that the special circumstances this town faced gave her such a shock that she still wants to maintain this misunderstanding.
"Ah, if Darkness is my follower, then there’s no problem."
"You... you really are an idiot." Adam angrily pinched her cheeks, "Besides, why are Megumin and Yunyun acceptable? More importantly, why did you put those two together? What does ’and’ mean?"
"Ahhh, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry... Anyway, if Adam wants, even two would be fine, right? Aren’t you a nobleman? In this other world, isn’t having multiple wives and concubines normal?"
"Hmm—? What exactly do you mean?"
"Ahhh—, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! In the end, I don’t care how many wives you have, I just want to live with Adam!"
Hiss... Huh? Did I misunderstand?
This idiot, does she even know what her words actually mean?
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