"OW!" Han Yu cried out as another bump now adorned his head, this time from the back.
Front and back, his head was now symmetrical again—a feature highly sought after in exactly no martial arts manuals ever.
"Huh?" A voice of surprise rang out. "A kid?"
Han Yu looked up, still rubbing his aching skull, and met the gaze of a familiar figure.
"Guard Shen! On the morning shift today, I see." Han Yu said, forcing a sheepish smile.
Guard Shen narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping across his face. "Han Yu? What are you doing here?" He glanced at the massive gate behind the boy. "Wait, you're outside? That means—" His eyes widened. "You were out all night?!"
"Ah... it's a bit complex." Han Yu chuckled nervously, knowing he was knee-deep in trouble.
His mind raced, searching for a plausible excuse. Just as he was about to blurt out something half-baked, a wave of pain from his forehead gave him inspiration.
Immediately, his expression transformed into one of pure sorrow. Tears welled up in his eyes, and his lips trembled as he latched onto the guard's leg like a drowning man clinging to driftwood.
"Guard Shen!" Han Yu wailed. "I almost died!"
"What?!" The guard was taken aback by the sudden shift in tone.
"Yeah!" Han Yu sniffled dramatically, wiping imaginary tears away with his sleeve.
"What happened? Tell me properly and stop crying," Guard Shen said, his heart softening.
'His clothes are filthy, and he even looks bruised,' the guard noted.
Han Yu took a deep breath, channeling the performance of a lifetime. "You see, I was coming back from the river yesterday evening, minding my own business, talking to the fish—"
"You talk to fish?" Guard Shen interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes! But that's not important right now!" Han Yu said, waving dramatically. "As I was enjoying nature, I suddenly heard a terrifying howl."
Guard Shen straightened. "A howl?"
"Yes! I ran the moment I heard it. It was definitely a wolf or something even scarier," Han Yu said, eyes darting around for added paranoia. "I ran so fast that I tripped over a rock and fell! Look!" He pointed to his forehead, where the bump was still visible.
Guard Shen inspected the wound and nodded thoughtfully.
"I passed out right there! When I woke up, it was already midnight!" Han Yu continued, his voice quivering. "I was terrified! The howls were still there, echoing through the night. So I ran again, faster than ever! But by the time I reached the gate, it was closed! I called out so much, but no one heard me!"
Guard Shen frowned. "You called out?" He crossed his arms. "How did no one hear you?"
Han Yu inwardly smirked but kept his face sorrowful. "I don't know, maybe the night guards were playing hooky."
"Impossible," Guard Shen said firmly, but doubt flickered in his eyes.
"I'm just saying..." Han Yu lowered his voice. "I did see some of them in the tavern late at night couple days back. I thought they weren't on shift, but who knows..." He let the sentence hang ominously.
Guard Shen's expression darkened. "The night guards left their post?!" His tone became dangerous.
Han Yu put on his best 'I hate to be the bearer of bad news' look and nodded.
"Can I... can I go home now?" Han Yu asked meekly. "I need to clean up and treat my wounds."
Guard Shen sighed, rubbing his temples. "Go. I'll handle this."
"Thank you, Guard Shen!" Han Yu grinned before dashing off, trying not to let his glee show.
Just as he reached a safe distance, he heard a furious bellow behind him.
"DID YOU BASTARDS GO TO THE TAVERN AT NIGHT?!" Guard Shen roared.
The sound of scrambling feet and falling objects filled the air.
"How did you know?! WHO SNITCHED?!" came a panicked voice.
"YOU IDIOTS JUST CONFESSED!" Guard Shen thundered, followed by loud crashes of what sounded suspiciously like metal helmets colliding with wooden walls.
Han Yu barely contained his laughter. "Serves them right," he muttered smugly.
Whistling a merry tune, he strolled back to his hideout. First things first, he had to treat his battle scars.
"Ai! Ai! Ai!" Han Yu winced as he dabbed ointment onto his forehead. "Why does it still hurt so much?!"
Satisfied with his 'medical treatment,' he tied a makeshift bandage around his head and admired himself in the mirror.
"Truly the face of a warrior," he mused.
But there was no time to bask in his greatness. He had an important task.
"Ah yes! Wine!" Han Yu snapped his fingers. "Who knows what that ghostly man would do if I don't bring him some."
Determined, he decided this time to venture out in broad daylight. No more night-time accidents!
But first, he had to gather his team.
A short walk later, he spotted his friends at their usual meeting place.
"Fat Kui! Dan Hu!" Han Yu called out.
They turned and gawked at him.
"You're back! What happened to your head?" Dan Hu asked, pointing at the bandage.
"I fell." Han Yu answered vaguely.
"You tripped while going to the toilet, didn't you?" Fat Kui deadpanned.
Han Yu gasped, scandalized. "How dare you! I would never!"
Dan Hu and Fat Kui exchanged looks before bursting into laughter.
"Forget that," Han Yu huffed. "Any new targets we can... borrow from today?" His eyes gleamed with mischief.
Fat Kui smirked. "Only if you have the magnet."
Han Yu placed a dramatic hand on his chest. "Of course! I paid for it with my own blood!"
Dan Hu shook his head. "Yep. Tripped in the toilet for sure."
"No way!" Han Yu replied.
"Yes way!" Dan Hu retorted.
"Nu uh!" Han Yu shook his head.
"Nu uh, my ass! Let's get to business, my hands are itching for some gold right now." Dan Hu snorted.
"Gold? But the most we've made is some silvers." Fat Kui replied in confusion.
"It's a figure of speech you fatty!" Dan Hu smacked the back of the fat man's head, making his neck fat jiggle.