"That's not how you do it!" Simone yelled as we wrestled on the ground in my backyard, me clutching her hands - keeping her stranded.
"Oh, yeah?" I chuckled. "Then why am I winning?"
"You're cheating, Lila!" she insisted, "Let me go!"
I giggled, enjoying having beat her, then I let her go.
She jumped to her feet and dusted her pants off. "You're stupid, Lila! I don't like playing with you."
I made an insulted o-shape with my mouth. "We're best friends! Besides, it was your idea!" I pushed her away gently.
"Don't touch me! I'll be your Alpha someday!" she squealed. "You know what, you're uninvited from my birthday party."
She gave me a nasty look and strutted towards my house.
I watched her in anger, seeing my Dad come out, his face pale. I'd never seen him look that bad before.
I got up to my feet as well and rushed towards him.
Simone greeted him on the way out, then Jorah tapped my father's shoulder and whispered something to him.
"Where's Mom?" I insisted as I came close enough.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Lily," Jorah said and picked up his daughter before they went out of our home.
Dad was still silent.
"What happened?" I watched him in confusion. "Is it over?" I almost smiled. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Dad shook his head, tears filling his tired eyes. "You have to be strong, Lily," he said, putting a hand over my shoulder.
I frowned observing his pale face. "Where's Mom?" I urged. "I want to see her."
"She's gone," he fell to his knees. "The child..." he sobbed now. "It was a stillborn..."
I watched him in horror. "What's a stillborn?"
"They're gone, Lily," he squeezed my shoulders. "I'm so sorry," he pulled me into a hug. "Both the child and your mother are dead, Lily," he sobbed, "I'm so so sorry..."
My mouth dropped open and I panted in place, drawing short rugged breaths, my eyes blurry from the tears. "No," I jerked him away, releasing myself from his hug. "No, she's not dead. The child can be dead, but she can't be dead!" I refused to accept my sibling took my mother's life.
"Lily, listen to me," Dad got a hold of me again. "I know this is painful, but you have to be strong for your siblings. We both do-"
"No!" I pulled away, screaming. I ran away from him as fast as I could - not knowing where I was going, but I wanted to get away from him as fast as I could. This was all his fault - I didn't know how, but I knew it was him to blame.
"Lily!" he called after me. "Where are you going?" he yelled. "Come back here! Lily!"
But I didn't. I kept on running until I could not longer hear his voice.
I ran out of our yard, across our neighbor's land and all the way until the edge of woods.
Then I collapsed onto the ground and weeped.
My mother was the only one who understood me. She knew how I felt about the pack, about the hierarchy, about having to respect those ranked above me, even though they aren't better. She was the only one who never blamed me for my disobedience. Who encouraged me to train harder, to stand up for myself.
And now she was gone.
I looked up to the sky, angry at it. Angry at the Moon Goddess.
"Why?" I hissed through gritted teeth. "Why her?" I yelled.
But no voice came back.
Only clouds travelled west, covering the Sun and casting a large shadow over me.
"I hate you!" I yelled to the sky. "I did everything they asked!" I cried. "I was good! I took care of my b-brothers," I sobbed. "I prote-protected them from the fights..." I wiped my eyes. "I respected the hierarchy.... and it was all in vain! You took her! You still took her!" I screamed at the sky. "What was the point?! What was the point in being good?!"
I felt helpless for the first time in my life.
And then I heard it...
"Lily..."
I jumped up and away from the edge.
I looked around me, thinking I was hearing voices in my head. Was I?
"Lily... come..."
My heart beat in my chest like it had never beat before.
"Who are you?" I half-whispered.
"Lily..." the same voice called. And then I saw someone. A terribly looking woman, skin pale and blue, fangs covering her lower lip, her dark hair falling over her bloody eyes...
I jumped away.
It was not a woman - it was a vampire.
"Lily...." she teased me. "Please... come. Come to me..."
I swallowed hard, my foot already sliding towards the woods.
Then someone grabbed me from behind.
"Aaaaaagh!" I yelled from the top of my lungs.
"What is it?" Jorah urged. "Who was it?" he asked. "Did you see anyone?"
From the corner of my eye, I watched the silhouette of the vampire woman as she drew her thin gnarled finger to her red lips, covering them with it, making a 'shh' sign.
I swallowed hard and met Jorah's eyes.
I still don't know why I decided to do it.
But I stared right into his eyes and shook my head.
"It was no one," I had said. "I saw nothing."
Jorah lifted me up into his arms and walked back towards my house as I stared back into the dark woods, observing its trees and shadows.
But I saw nothing. She was gone.
"You shouldn't go near the woods alone, Lily," Jorah admonished. "Your father must be worried."
I watched him in silence. I was angry at my father. I didn't want to see him. I knew this was his fault.
"Promise me you won't do that again, sweet Lily. Okay?"
I pressed my lips in defiance. I was angry at his daughter, Simone for being snobby. I was angry at my stillborn sibling for stealing my mother from me. I was angry at my Dad for fighting with her. I was angry at Jorah for bringing me back when I wanted to go away. And I was angry at myself knowing my three little brothers probably need attention and I wasn't giving them any.
"Lily!" Jorah admonished once again. "Promise," he demanded.
Something in his voice broke something in me in that moment - maybe I felt he was hiding something, or maybe I just resented him for his title, but right then and there, as he carried me in his alpha arms, I made an inner promise to myself instead: I'll never obey anyone again.
Then I nodded, a mischievous gleam behind my eyes. Because I was already plotting my next adventure to the woods.
——————-
How did you like the glimpse into the past? What do you think of Lily's childhood?
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