Translator: Seven ED: Sasha
The goblin race had a ‘word that encompassed all things’.
About a thousand years ago, this word, which described all their joy, anger and sorrow came to life. And it was the word these fairies of the soil uttered whenever they were happy or sad.
And today was the day many people shouted it.
-It was amazing! We were doing so well! You motherfucking dog sh*t bastards!
The one eyed Arika swore as heavily as a sailor.
The other actors also complained.
-That’s right. Even if you had to interrupt us, why did it have to be at the climax!?
-It’s not enough to only give refunds to the customers. You should give us refunds too. You don’t know how much effort we put in for today’s performance. And now, thanks to you, all of our efforts went down the drain.
They were angry that our performance had been interrupted, and that their [immersion] had been lost.
-No. We have no choice but to move when we receive such a report…
The leader of the security force was sweating profusely.
It was unfair from the perspectives of the security force members as well. Who could imagine something like that? Even if there were a lot of crazy reports in the world, they couldn’t imagine that they’d receive a report because someone [had been mistaken about a play].
-I-, it wasn’t just one or two people either. A total of five people reported the same thing at the same time.
It was also a report with high credibility.
-We received five reports of murder and arson at the same time, so how could we not send out a team…
-Ugo? Then are you trying to say it was our fault?
-Pe-, perhaps if you all had acted a bit less realistically…
-What kind of bullsh*t is that?
The security force leader couldn’t help but make an embarrassed expression as he was criticized by people from a theater called Dog Sound.
“Umm. Everyone, I understand the situation of the security force.”
We were currently in the security force’s main office.
The charges had already been cleared, but the investigation still needed to be conducted in an official manner.
On one side of the building, there was a sign that said [Blocking beforehand is more beneficial than judging afterward]. Was this the security force’s slogan?
“Nevertheless, we still need that refund. We have to be repaid for our effort. After all, it’s not like we can do business by eating dirt. While it’s true that the security force couldn’t have known, the situation of our theater company is very bad right now. If this performance fails, we might have to close down.”
They had already finished interrogating me.
From [Can you really make your aura resemble flames?] and [Could you really engulf the entire theater in your aura?] to [Is it true that you can make music with your aura?].
Of course, it was all true.
I personally demonstrated my aura at the security force’s main office.
The eyes of all the members stared at me with amazement as if they were thinking, ‘Where the hell did this monster come from?’.
“As I said before, I understand the security force’s situation. So if you accept our condition, we will accept only a small apology fee.”
“We will give you special seats for free. So please come to our next performance.”
The actors all turned their heads to look at me.
-Junior! What kind of bullsh*t is that?! (Note: Dog sound)
-It’s not enough that they ruined everything already, now you want to give them special seats for free?!
-I don’t think that’s a good idea either, Junior.
These seniors really didn’t know how to do business.
The complaining actors immediately went silent and looked at me with wary gazes. The last week. Through the special hell training, the seniors had learned the timing of when to speak and when to listen.
“Where was I? Ah. The invitation for the special seats.”
The security force members all looked at me with strange expressions.
After all, four adult hobgoblins had just gone soft in front of a young elf they called junior. They didn’t know how to describe it. Should they say he looked like a young mafia boss or gangster? In any case, it was not an ordinary sight.
“Our theater company would like to formally invite the security force. I know you are very busy, but we would appreciate it if at least four or five people took the time to come. Then we’d accept only a small apology fee.”
The leader was perplexed.
-No. I mean, if it’s okay with you then we would be happy to. But why are you formally inviting us?
I lowered my eyebrows slightly.
To appear as pitiful as possible.
“That… it broke my heart to see you guys get cursed by the customers earlier.”
-Ugo? Broke your heart?
“Yes. You guys were just doing your duty as the security force. But it seems you are always criticized by the citizens. That’s why I wanted to do something for you… We’re all learning, aren’t we? I hope that watching the performance will bring you some comfort…”
The [Eyes of a puppy in the rain that tickles your heart…] that I learned from Raviel was a lethal move that was always well received. It was to the point that I’d received four pats on the head in the past.
This time was no different. The hobgoblins were visibly moved.
-Is he really an elf? Are you sure he’s not an angel?
-I can’t believe we made this young man stop acting. Our wrongs are great!
You guys trusted people too easily.
I started to worry about these children.
They wouldn’t be able to live in such a harsh world with such a personality.
-……it’s nothing. Right. There’s nothing I could say to you.
Bae Hu-ryeong let out a deep sigh. What was wrong with him? Could ghost become senile too?
In any case, the members of the security force happily accepted the invitation. Even if a lot of them couldn’t go because of their busy schedule, they said that they would definitely repay our sincerity.
On the way out of the office and back to the theater.
-I didn’t know that junior felt that kind of admiration in his heart…
We had been dragged out in the middle of the performance, so we were still wearing the clothes from the play. As we walked with cloth around our waists and black tattoos across our bodies, passersby on the street looked at us with curiosity.
-That’s right. It was kind of surprising.
-Until now, I thought junior was a demon from the depths of Kekerkker’s stomach.
-We were all upset because the play got interrupted… but it’s embarrassing when we look at junior.
“You guys really don’t get it, do you? Seniors, we have received a huge reward.”
“It’s just a bit of money. If we do a few more performances, we’ll be able to get it back. We can even do another one tomorrow. However, what we just did was [make bait].”
The seniors tilted their heads to the side in unison.
-What’s that, junior?
Well. These kids. They were cute.
Once again reaffirming that the goblin race was the cutest in the universe, I calmly explained.
“We have the skills. We also have plays to perform. Now, all our theater needs is publicity. And perhaps by tomorrow, everyone in the city will know what happened today.”
「I heard that the security force rushed to the scene after hearing about a fire.」
「But then they found out it was just a play.」
「The aura was so vivid that the audience thought it was real fire and reported it.」
In other words, it would become a conversation topic.
“All goblins are potential customers. Everyone, regardless of age or gender watches Fire Plays. So don’t you think they’d be interested after hearing about [aura that was so vivid it was mistaken for fire]?”
I also added more bait on top of that.
“What if the rumors spread that the theater company who suffered at the hands of the security force invited them to watch their play?”
The actors all had contemplative expressions.
-Are you saying that more people will come to watch?
“Apart from that, I am an elf. Although you seniors might think it’s fine, if we continue on the road to success, there will definitely be goblins who get jealous.”
Fire Painting was a culture unique to the goblins.
But a strange elf rookie suddenly appeared and quickly gained popularity.
It would be difficult to get a positive response.
“That’s why, even if I have to say things I don’t mean, it is a good thing to get the security force on our side now. After all, we are also merchants of acting. And there is nothing wrong with merchants having a good relationship with the security force.”
“Do you understand now? They will definitely take our side if they were to receive another report. Or at the very least they will ignore the reports that make no sense from now on.”
The seniors were stunned.
-Sometimes, the junior doesn’t look like an elf. But when he starts using his brain like that, it shows that he is definitely an elf.
-Our junior is the most talented person with the heart of a goblin and the head of an elf.
-If only he had a bit more muscles, then he would be perfect…
I couldn’t gain that much muscle even if I wanted to.
I just hoped that Raviel didn’t one day awaken a desire for a muscle man.
‘Gongja,’ she’d whisper in my ear, ‘it would be nice if you gained a little more weight.’ Gently. ‘Just a little more’. Whispering. ‘I want to see your arms thicker than they are now.’
I would give billions of dollars to the best trainer on the 1st floor of the tower without any hesitation. What? Internal muscles? Bullsh*t. Throw it away.
-Junior is smiling again…
-Sometimes, he would just suddenly smile without saying anything.
-I have no idea what he’s thinking about… Honestly, it’s kinda creepy…
-Scary… It gives me a terrible feeling…
What do you know about love?
Even if they knew love, they didn’t know Raviel, so in reality these guys knew nothing about love. Children.
-The actors have returned!
A large crowd had gathered in front of the theater. One of them pointed a finger when he spotted us. Then, the hobgoblins who had been crowding at the front rushed towards us.
Dozens of huge hobgoblins surrounded us.
-Wh-, what’s going on?
The seniors were frightened.
-When is the next performance?!
-We bought the tickets with our own money! We are victims of having our viewing unfairly interrupted!
-We deserve to have priority seating for the next performance!
-Tickets! Give us tickets!
They were like an annoying group of seagulls.
The seniors were stunned.
-That, ugo, wait a minute…!
Someone squeezed themself out of the crowd. It was the theater owner. The wrinkles on his face seemed to have deepened, as if he’d suffered greatly at the hands of the customers before we returned.
-Huk. These guys, it would be better if they asked for a refund, huk. Even though I said I would give it to them…
-We don’t need refunds!
The hobgoblins shouted as one.
-Right! We don’t want refunds or anything like that!
-Just give us tickets for the next performance! I’m sure you must have others planned!
-I heard that the special seats are worth six times more than the others. Is it possible to increase the number? Naturally, we will pay for it.
-Tell us how many special seats are left!
The theater owner was sweating.
-Th-, they’re being so persistent even after I told them we hadn’t planned anything else yet. I really can’t…
Currently, the real power of the theater company was in my hands.
Just by dealing with the customers without blindly promising when the next performance would be was already the best I could hope for from the theater owner.
I smiled and bowed my head.
“Thank you for enjoying the Dog Sound Theater Company’s performance so much. Did you find it interesting?”
-It was more than just interesting! Ugor!
-It’s the first time I’ve seen aura used in such a way. However, it wasn’t just the aura that was amazing…
-In any case, it was amazing! It was as intense as flames! It really was!
The crowd became excited.
I bowed my head to express my gratitude, but the seniors’ reactions were different.
They were even more dramatic.
The one eyed Arika, one armed Yumar, and one eared Sakum had probably never received such good attention before.
Like children receiving Santa’s gifts for the first time, they didn’t know what to do.
“The next play is still being scheduled. Unfortunately, we don’t have any plans to perform [The Rampant Fire Sword] agin.”
-That’s not possible!
-We’ll riot against the security force!
“But hearing your compliments makes me want to pay you back even if we didn’t plan to.”
I gave the professional smile created by the Black Dragon Master.
“Therefore, next saturday, we will perform [The Rampant Fire Sword] once more!”
“That’s not all! The Dog Sound Theater Company always puts its customers first! This play won’t be open to the general public, but only to those who visited today! It is a special performance just for you! A secret performance!”
The crowd, who had missed the climax of the play, were ecstatic.
“Thank you for your enthusiastic support! Now for those who want tattoos, please come one by one. We will paint them for you.”
The goblins also had a culture of giving signatures.
However, instead of signing on paper, they drew patterns on their bare bodies.
The actors drew these patterns using soft mud.
That’s why theaters with famous actors often had audience members who bore the same tattoo
I let out a loud laugh.
“In order to receive a pattern from us, you must agree to one condition.”
“Shout ‘son of a bitch’ before you get the pattern.”
They probably thought I was joking.
However, I was serious.
-Flame Emperor, you son of a bitch. ?
-Flame Emperor you son of a bitch!
-Flame Emperor you motherfucker!
“Aigo, you even said something like that. You’re awesome.”
The crowd laughed even louder while exchanging jokes with me and the other actors. And everyone left with satisfied expressions after receiving patterns on their shoulders, chests and backs.
For reference, the pattern I drew was a dog.
While also promoting Dog Sound Theater Company, it would also imprint the image that the Flame Emperor was a son of a bitch, truly killing two birds with one stone.
-……it’s nothing. Right. There’s nothing I could say to a psycho.
Bae Hu-ryeong sighed again.
The ghost was definitely going senile. I was certain of it now. Poor thing.
[The influence of the Heretic Cult weakens in the Goblin Race!]
I heard the Tower’s voice in my head.
[‘Returning to Ancient Times’ is starting to gain popularity in the Goblin Race.]
[The possibility of renaissance opens up for the Goblin Race.]
[The quest ‘The Warring Theaters Period: The Crisis of Classics progresses.]
[Current heretic erosion rate is 86%.]
It seemed that the Tower was also cheering me on.
I smiled at the theater owner and the seniors.
“Everyone, are you ready to become an awesome theater company?”
Even if we couldn’t do it now.
When I started something, I made sure to see it through to the end.