Standing in the doorway of the master bedroom, I watched Camille sleep with the kind of peaceful expression that only came from complete exhaustion. Her breathing was deep and regular, and she’d somehow managed to claim the entire king-size bed, sprawling across it like she was trying to hug the mattress itself.
"Camille," I called softly, not wanting to startle her but knowing she needed to wake up eventually. The sun was already well past noon, and she’d been unconscious for nearly twelve hours.
Nothing. Not even a twitch.
I tried again, a little louder. "Camille, it’s past noon."
Still nothing. Her breathing didn’t even change rhythm.
I’d always known she was a night owl—her fashion design work often kept her up until the early morning hours, working on sketches or adjusting patterns when inspiration struck. Even her job title exhausts her out. But I’d never seen her this deeply unconscious before. The combination of champagne, excitement, and emotional exhaustion from the previous night had apparently knocked her completely offline.
"Camille," I said more firmly, walking over to the bed and gently shaking her shoulder. "Time to rejoin the land of the living."
She made a sound that might have been a groan or might have been an attempt at human language, but didn’t open her eyes. Her hand swatted vaguely in my direction like she was trying to shoo away an annoying fly.
I tried a different approach, sitting on the edge of the bed and speaking directly into her ear. "Hey, sleeping beauty. The house is on fire and we need to evacuate immediately."
That got me another groan, but still no eye opening. Camille had apparently achieved a level of unconsciousness that bordered on the supernatural.
"Okay," I said, standing up and crossing my arms. "I didn’t want to resort to this, but you’re leaving me no choice."
I walked toward the door, then turned back and spoke in my most casual tone. "I guess I’ll just have to put all these leftover pastries and coffee in your office. You know, the chocolate croissants from that bakery you love? And maybe I’ll reorganize your fabric samples while I’m in there. Sort them by color instead of texture like you prefer."
The effect was instantaneous and dramatic. Camille’s eyes snapped open, she shot upright in bed, and then immediately overbalanced from the sudden movement. With a yelp of alarm, she toppled sideways and disappeared over the edge of the mattress, landing on the floor with a soft thud.
I couldn’t help but chuckle as her head appeared above the edge of the bed, her hair sticking up at impossible angles and her eyes slightly unfocused but definitely awake.
"You jerk," she said, but there was no real anger in it. "That was cruel and unusual punishment."
"I’m sorry," I said, though I was still grinning. "But desperate times called for desperate measures. You were practically in a coma."
She tried to stand up and immediately swayed, one hand going to her forehead. "Oh god, my head feels like someone used it for drumming practice. How much did we drink last night?"
"Enough that you’ve been unconscious for twelve hours."
"Twelve hours?" She looked around the room like she was trying to figure out what planet she was on. "What time is it?"
"Way past noon. The others have been up for hours."
Camille groaned and started to sink back toward the floor, but I moved quickly, scooping her up in my arms before she could collapse again. She made a small sound of surprise as I lifted her, automatically wrapping her arms around my neck.
"What are you doing?" she asked, though she didn’t seem inclined to struggle.
"Apologizing for my cruel wake-up tactics," I said, carrying her toward the door. "Princess treatment seemed appropriate."
"I look terrible," she protested, but I could see the hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"You look like someone who celebrated appropriately hard," I replied, navigating the hallway carefully. "There’s a difference."
I carried her down to the living room and gently deposited her on the couch, then went to the kitchen to get her a large glass of water. When I returned, she was slumped against the cushions with her eyes closed, but she was definitely awake.
"Drink this," I said, pressing the glass into her hands. "All of it. You’re probably severely dehydrated."
She accepted the water gratefully and began sipping it slowly. "You know, this princess treatment could become addictive. I might have to fake being hungover more often."
"Please don’t. I can’t have you not do anything every day."
Before she could respond, Sienna appeared from the direction of the kitchen, taking one look at Camille’s disheveled state and immediately shifting into caretaker mode.
"Oh, you poor thing," she said, settling onto the couch beside her. "You look absolutely miserable. Have you eaten anything? You need to get some food in your system, and probably some electrolytes too."
"I’m fine," Camille protested weakly, but she was already leaning against Sienna’s shoulder like a tired child.
"You’re not fine, you’re hungover and dehydrated," Sienna replied firmly. "I’ll make you some toast and get you some juice from the fridge. Small sips and small bites until your stomach settles."
I watched as Sienna took charge of Camille’s recovery, recognizing that this was one of those situations where I’d be more helpful by staying out of the way. Sienna had a nurturing instinct that was perfectly suited to dealing with hangovers, and Camille clearly appreciated having someone fuss over her.
"I’ll leave you two to it," I said, backing toward the hallway. "Call if you need anything."
"Thanks for getting her up," Sienna replied, already reaching for Camille’s forehead to check for fever. "She might have slept until tomorrow otherwise."
With Camille in capable hands, I found myself at loose ends for the first time since waking up. Job Merger and Enhanced Copy were still on cooldown. I’d already used Enhanced Absorb to learn from Alexis. Enhanced Destroy didn’t have any available targets. My newly acquired hacking skills were interesting, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to start experimenting with digital infiltration from my home network.
Then I remembered something I’d been meaning to address for months. The Jobmaster title was supposed to automatically grant me new a job every time the previous one reaches A-Rank, but I’d put a hold on the process after acquiring Journalist. The combination of rapidly expanding skills and the sheer amount of jobs had been making me overheat. Though this problem had been solved when Alexis provided me with that vial of bitumen and I’d gained access to Job Merger.
Now there was no reason to keep getting a new job on hold. In fact, given the challenges ahead, every additional skill set could prove valuable.
I settled into my study chair and opened the System interface, navigating to the Jobmaster configuration options. Sure enough, there was a notification waiting for me:
Acquiring new Job had been put on hold. Resume?
I selected "Resume" and felt the familiar tingling sensation that indicated the System was processing something significant.
Analyzing user profile...Evaluating current capabilities...Determining optimal job assignment...Processing...
The loading process seemed to take longer than usual, which was interesting. Previous jobs did take time, but this one seemed to require more consideration. Maybe the System was taking my recent upgrades into account, or perhaps it was trying to find something that would complement my existing capabilities without overwhelming me.
Job assignment completeNew job class acquired: Teacher (B-Rank)
I stared at the notification for a moment, not quite sure how to process what I was seeing. After weeks of anticipation about what powerful new capability the System might grant me, after acquiring S-Rank hacking abilities and learning advanced medical procedures, after discovering I could potentially reach SS and SSS rank in my job classes...
The System had made me a B-Rank teacher.
I closed the interface and opened it again, just to make sure I’d read correctly. Nope. Teacher (B-Rank). Not some exotic specialized education role like "Master Pedagogue" or "Knowledge Transfer Specialist." Just... Teacher.
The irony was almost overwhelming. Here I was, sitting in my study after explaining to Alexis how my System access operated according to unique rules that nobody fully understood, how I’d received unprecedented upgrades that could potentially transcend normal human limits, how I was positioned to challenge the established world order...
And the System’s next gift to me was the ability to teach middle school math.
I started laughing, quietly at first, then building to the kind of helpless laughter that comes from encountering something so perfectly absurd that humor becomes the only reasonable response. The sound echoed through my study, and I hoped the others couldn’t hear me losing my composure over what should have been a straightforward System upgrade.
Teacher (B-Rank). The System apparently had a sense of humor.
On the other hand, I had to admit that teaching skills might actually be more valuable than they initially appeared. Enhanced Absorb worked better when someone could effectively teach me what they knew. My recent session with Alexis had demonstrated that the quality of instruction directly affected how much I could learn. If I could improve my own teaching abilities, it might help others learn from me more effectively as well.
And given that I was apparently collecting skills and capabilities at an unprecedented rate, being able to share that knowledge with others could be strategically important. The coming conflict with the World President wouldn’t be something I could handle alone, no matter how many abilities I acquired.
But still. B-Rank Teacher. After everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, the System’s gift to me was the ability to explain long division and help with homework.
I was still chuckling when I heard footsteps in the hallway. Apparently my reaction to becoming an educator had been louder than I’d thought.
"Everything okay in there?" Evelyn’s voice called from outside my study door.
"Just fine," I called back, trying to get my laughter under control. "The System has a sense of humor, that’s all."
I looked at the interface one more time, confirming that I was indeed now a B-Rank Teacher alongside all my other capabilities. "Probably not. But it’s going to make for an interesting conversation at dinner."
The absurdity of it was actually perfect, in a way. No matter how powerful I became, no matter what impossible abilities I acquired, the universe had a way of keeping me humble.
Even if it had to make me a middle school teacher to do it.