Volume 5
271 Building Telepathy
Even if everyone had their secrets… This secret was too…
This individual was someone I trusted and looked up to. I thought she was an heir, but she’s actually a soul splitter?
How could that be… Should I believe her…
I looked at Piercer with suspicion, but she smiled at me. “It’s normal that you’d be suspicious of me, since you trust her more. But Li Shen, I’ve also said that Li Qing isn’t a bad person. She just has her secrets.
“Think about it, why did she fake her death to leave? Why would she reappear after that? All of the choices she made were because of her identity as a soul splitter. She definitely considers the position of the heirs, but as a soul splitter, she has her own ties and an identity that would stay with her forever. You have to spare a thought for her on this.”
After hearing this, I suddenly thought it made a lot of sense. This might be why Li Qing kept things from me in the first place.
“Si Luo is also a soul splitter. Among the four District Commanders, Si Luo and Li Qing were the ones who requested for Jiao S and you to take on your positions. Do you think that the other soul splitters would really have let heirs take on such positions if that wasn’t the case? Wouldn’t they be afraid of an uprising? Have you thought about that? Jiao S and you are different because the both of you have Si Luo and Li Qing as your backing. Things turned out different in that case.
“Si Luo was a soul splitter from the Gate of Heaven, and both he and Li Qing left the circle of soul splitters because they didn’t agree with how some things were being run. They left in order to protect you guys.”
“What you said definitely made sense, Piercer. But there’s a problem. I’ve seen Li Qing’s split symbol before and it was exactly the same as that of Li Wen’s. It was also in the same place. Li Wen is a soul splitter, so how could Li Qing be one…”
Something clicked in my head before I finished the question.
Piercer was looking at me with a look that said, You get it now, do you?
I couldn’t believe this. I asked, “You mean, you mean that Li Wen isn’t actually a soul splitter? Li Wen is an heir, and Li Qing is actually Li Wen’s soul splitter…”
“Yes, that’s it. All of you thought that Li Wen was Li Qing’s soul splitter, but you’ve gotten it the wrong way around. Li Qing is the soul splitter, and she’s Li Wen’s soul splitter. Li Qing named her Li Wen to signify the start of her new life in the Split Zone when she was brought here, which also includes providing her with the power of a split symbol through a split symbol contract.”
My goodness… So this was actually what happened.
This means Li Wen had been misunderstood by Jiao S all this while.
By me too.
This is why Li Wen said she was a loyal lapdog.
Don’t tell me that whatever Li Wen did was actually planned by Li Qing…?
No, that can’t be. According to Piercer, Li Qing had our interests at heart. Then why did Li Wen, who was always loyal to her, seem to be opposing us?
“I know that there are many things that don’t really make sense right now, but that’s okay. The truth will be revealed someday. I just want you to know that although Li Qing might have done some things that you think was wrong, you have to empathize with her. Li Qing is a woman who is worthy of respect, and there’s almost no one in the Split Zone who isn’t impressed by her.
“Li Wen might be thinking of taking all the blame on herself and leaving all the glory to Li Qing. No matter how kind or full of justice Li Qing is, her identity as a soul splitter can never change. She has to switch her stand sometimes, and it’s difficult for the rest of you to really understand her choices all the time. At times like these, Li Wen would be able to take the blame for her and leave Li Qing with a clean slate.”
I was shaken.
Relationships between women are complex, but I’ve pretended not to know that all this while.
Li Qing’s favorites were You Ji, Li Wen and I. Among the three of us, Li Qing favored me the most.
Though You Ji and Li Wen said they weren’t jealous, I knew that they were lying. If it were me, I knew I would definitely be jealous.
You Ji loved me but also hated me for this. It’s no wonder Li Wen was so emotional after learning of You Ji’s death.
Li Wen and You Ji were competing with each other as well. We all looked up to Li Qing and we were equally reliant on her. This is why all of us hoped to be the ‘best’ in Li Qing’s eyes.
Li Wen must have felt that even though I was Li Qing’s favorite, I wasn’t able to accompany her on that gritty road which might possibly turn dirty while she could.
Was this why Li Qing chose to take Li Wen away instead of me? Or was it simply because Li Wen was her heir?
Humans are fickle creatures. I know for a fact that if Li Qing had chosen me at the time, I might not have left with her even though I did love her. I might not have turned my back on the Western District together with her. Li Qing gave me the task of taking care of the Western District and staying loyal to it, but she turned her back on it.
And Li Wen seemed to be fine with something like this…
“Ah Shen, I know what you’re thinking. You can’t blame Li Qing for not choosing you. Firstly, she needs to have control over the individual she chooses. No matter how loyal you are, as Li Qing’s heir, Li Wen is easier to control. Secondly, Li Qing knows you guys too well. Though you look weak and cowardly on the outside, you’re actually strong and kind, and that you’re someone with your own principles and your own brand of justice. She knows that you wouldn’t have left with her even if she asked, and that it would have only led to your impression of her being shattered.
“I believe that’s what Li Qing didn’t want to see. She would wish for you to look up to her. Li Wen is different though. You look up to Li Qing because you agree with her sense of justice. Li Wen looks up to her just because it’s Li Qing, and it didn’t matter if she was good or evil.
“Worldly affairs are just so complex and confusing. This can be interpreted both ways. One is that you were the one Li Qing loved the most, and she’d rather you think she was dead rather than have her image ruined in your eyes. But it can also be interpreted that Li Wen was the one Li Qing loved the most as she’s willing to reveal the truth to Li Wen and to face possible death with her. Both sound plausible… Relationships, of all kinds, are just so complex.
“But complex emotions like these are what make people human. This is why humans are different from animals.”
I felt a little upset. “Yes. Though I feel upset, Li Wen must be feeling horrid. It’s no wonder Li Wen was always so two-faced. Sometimes, she’d act like her old self, but she’d also turn weird at times. She must have thought that Li Qing favored me the most. She must be wondering why she isn’t getting anything in return after doing so much for Li Qing without complaints. If I were in her shoes, I don’t think I can be optimistic.”
“You’re right. Li Wen is in pain. I also believe that she still values her friendship with you, just like how it was with You Ji. It’s because of this that her hatred towards you is greater. But the more she hates you and the more she gets jealous of you, the more pain she’d be putting herself in. Li Wen didn’t think about what I just told you, that although Li Qing didn’t want to hurt you and show you her dark side, she was willing to show it to Li Wen. Li Wen had never looked at it that way.”
I sighed. “Yes. But now that you’ve told me all this, I’m also upset. I’m also jealous. But I know that nobody is at fault here, because I might have done the same thing if I were Li Qing. Who’s to blame for everything then?”
“This is the problem with you people. I’d always be thinking about things like these when I used to be a human too. But do you know that there’s no need to put the blame on any party for these things? There’s no need to be too hung up on where it went wrong. Right and wrong would always be relative, and there’s no one and nothing which can be totally right. Trust me. If you’re able to let go of things like these, you’d be able to forgive yourself.”
Forgive myself?
“No one else but you can forgive yourself, Ah Shen. You’re just not willing to. You understand everything, but you refuse to admit it because you don’t want to save yourself. I can see it in your entire being that you’re able to see through everything. You’re just avoiding it.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Everyone can preach though…”
“Hmm… Yes. The ones directly involved are always unaware of the real situation when by-standers are able to see it clear as day…
“Li Qing really loves you. Scorpion Ray is something extremely important to her, but she gave it to you. I just don’t know why she gave you only half of it.”
“Oh, Huai Du has been eyeing Scorpion Ray. Would the other half be with him?”
“That’s possible. I don’t know any more than you do regarding the situation between Huai Du and Li Qing. I only learnt about it when you did. It’s really quite a secret.
“If you really want to investigate Huai Du, you might have to return to the Gate of Ghost and possibly to the demon cave.”
“Li Qing told me to leave the Gate of Ghost as soon as possible when I met her there. She said I’d be in danger in the Gate of Ghost. I have no idea what she meant.”
“Well, there might be more individuals out there who’ve been eyeing your second personality. This is why I’m telling you to forgive yourself, so that you and your second personality can combine into one sooner rather than later.”
At this, I interrupted her. “No, the second personality is not me. This isn’t what I wish for. I’m not able to combine into one with her.”
Piercer looked at me. “Why do this to yourself? You know that she is you, and that you are her…”
“It’s getting late,” I said softly.
Seeing my disinterest, Piercer did not push further. “It is. You should be getting back now. In the following month, you just have to call my name if anything happens. Remember our talk and remember our promise. I’ll be able to lend you more power that way.”
“Okay.”