Cecília
— I can't believe you finally lost that virginity, my friend!
— Shhhh ! I look around to see if anyone has heard my friend's nonsensical screams, but I don't think anyone is paying attention to the two of us as we walk across the college campus.
The weeks are passing by and it's getting colder and colder. I don't even know what I am anymore and what clothes are under that huge coat that makes me look like a truck tire.
Kelly takes me to the coffee shop nearby and we sit at a small table in the corner to continue talking. I see her mischievous face and feel my own burn with embarrassment. I don't know if it's from talking about it or if it's because I can't stop remembering that night.
- It was good? she asks as she blows on the hot coffee. I bite my lip and feel my neck heat up from the memories of Thomas's body.
Kelly laughs very loudly. "Of course it was good, look at that silly face of yours."
I laugh along with her at my own embarrassment, but then I sigh and rest my chin on my hand.
“This isn't how I dreamed it would be, my friend,” I say softly.
—Didn't you dream it was with a very hot and experienced man who was going to make you come until you passed out? she asks with raised eyebrows. — Because that's what I dreamed about and instead I got an idiot from one of these fraternities here who didn't know what to do with a mouth...
—Kelly! I interrupt with wide eyes. She rolls her eyes and drinks her coffee. “I thought… it was going to be someone I was in love with. That we were going to get married and have a family… — You're going to get married,” she says. snort.
“Yeah, because of a stupid contract. He doesn't even like me, he's just mad at my dad.
- And you like? - she asks. I pinch my eyebrows. - From him. Do you like him? Because the Cecília I know wouldn't go to bed with a guy if she didn't like him.
I feel my eyes sting and I promise myself I won't cry over that idiot anymore.
“I don't want to like him,” I tell her and bite my lip. “I can't like him, Kelly.
She takes a deep breath and places the mug on the table. Take my hand and squeeze it.
"My friend, pay attention. I know a thing or two about men, so listen to me. — Rio, because it's quite true that she does know. — He may not be in love with you the way you dreamed, but… you said he even watched a movie in bed with you? Kelly asks to confirm what I told her.
I nod, because it was really weird.
I'm really an idiot. I really thought things were going to change after… our night together. That Thomas was going to get me out of that contract and stay with me because he wants me, not because of any revenge. I was foolish to believe it meant anything to him. A man like Thomas must be used to having the woman he wants whenever he wants. I was just one more. And he was my first… I feel silly because for a moment I believed he would be my only.
Until I woke up the next day and he treated me with that same coldness again. So I decided I couldn't let Thomas have that much power over me anymore. I'm going to marry him because I can't let Dad go to jail, but I've decided I'm going to be exactly what he expects of me: an ornamental wife. I don't want to expect anything more from him because I will only get hurt.
But Thomas looks like he's landed on his head and won't leave me alone. I think he just likes to torment me.
“He watched a movie with me last night,” I agree. “But I think it was just so I wouldn't be so mad at him.
Kelly slaps my hand.
"And do you think he would waste his time trying to get you not to be mad if you didn't care, Cecilia?"
- But…
“But nothing,” she cuts me off. "Put that head to work!" He's trying to please you, he's just never going to say it out loud.
I bite the tip of my fingernail, thinking about what she's saying. Then I remember when Thomas talked about his parents, and my dad. That's when I realize maybe he's afraid. It's hard to think of a man like that afraid of anything, but I saw his face when he told me he lost his parents and that he lost my father too. Is this cold man pose just to put others off?
- It will be? I ask. She shrugs and looks at me with that "you'll have to figure it out on your own" face.
We still talk for a while longer before my cell phone rings and I see that it's my dad. Again. He's been calling for a few weeks now, but he hasn't stopped for a few days. Whenever I pick up my cell phone, there are endless missed calls.
— I need to answer — I say and Kelly says goodbye saying that she really has to go.
I step out of the cafeteria into the cold wind and start walking. I answer the phone and almost cry when I hear Dad's voice on the other end of the line.
— Cecilia, my love, at last! he says, sounding relieved that I picked up.
“Hi, Dad,” I say softly. My chest tightens and I don't know if it's missing or upset. I'm still really angry and hurt by what he did, but then I realize that most of the anger is gone.
" How are you, crystal?" Did he… hurt you?
I frown and stop walking. His voice is very worried.
“Thomas? I ask, blinking rapidly in disbelief.
He sighs heavily on the other end of the line and doesn't say anything for a while.
- Father?
“ Forgive me, my daughter ,” he says. I sigh and start walking again. — I know what I did was wrong, Cecilia, but I was desperate, I… Your mother and I are trying to get there as quickly as possible, dear. We had a visa problem and we are not able to enter the United States, but we are trying, my love, I promise. I know this whole situation is so wrong, but I think a part of me wanted to believe that Thomas would never do anything to hurt you. Pardon me.
“He didn't hurt me, Dad,” I say, not understanding. “Why do you think he hurt me?