Chen Fei wished he could knock out this Big Bear with a bottle until he was half-paralyzed.
Driving a car drunk gets your license suspended and a fine, and lands you in jail for half a year, but flying a plane drunk should get you dragged out and shot for half an hour.
From a distance, as Squadron Leader Chekhov in cockpit 211 tilted his head back in a deep swig, his wingman, "Devil Pepper" Irinei Rusios, silently rubbed her forehead in disbelief.
"This guy, at it again!"
They say men never grow up; when will this bear grow up?
Drinking heavily, boasting loudly, playing Big Daizi, can't he find some more respectable hobbies?
Like singing Peking opera or Kunqu opera, playing cricket or golf, writing novels, reciting poetry, playing basketball, or maybe soccer, shedding some excess hormones on the green field would do as well!
Chekhov Big Bear: Iline dear! Are you trying to kill me?!
The bottle didn't make it across, but Chekhov didn't care, grabbing it back and downing it continuously until not a drop was left.
After a long belch, savoring the taste with a few smacks of his lips, he felt utterly delighted!
If only there were some snacks to accompany the drink, a couple of large slices of salted fatback would have been perfect.
Chen Fei had to switch to using an oxygen mask, glancing around the cockpit canopy to see if there was a way to crack it open and refresh the cabin air. He had no doubt that if he struck a match, the air, thick with the smell of alcohol, would ignite immediately.
"Rookie, let me teach you a thing or two!"
The drunken Big Bear started his bragging mode, yet the plane remained stable. Emmm... Perhaps it was a natural response, purely muscle memory; his brain, well, he might as well not have one.
"'Devil Pepper,' that little lady, is probably still teaching you how to play video games; with her terrible skills, huh!~ At best, she could teach you to drive a tractor. Wanting to soar into the sky and dogfight, no, huh!!~ Dog fight, huh!!!~ That's far off."
The entire squadron's communication channel echoed with the Big Bear's drunken blathering.
In the cockpit of the wingman's plane, the "little lady" Miss "Devil Pepper" clenched her teeth, her face as pale as iron.
Calling her this lady, that lady, such blatant male chauvinism, she was gearing up to throw a punch.
He still wanted to return to the base alive, with his salary about to be issued this month; he did not want it to turn into condolence money.
Chekhov continued his clueless ranting.
"Remember always the Three Essentials of Air Combat, the first and most important, strike first or suffer the consequences, always make sure to fire the first shot."
"Second, use all your might right from the start, don't hold back, launch all your missiles, holding back is suicide."
"Third, after attacking, bolt, don't hesitate, the so-called best hunters often appear as prey. That's all nonsense to deceive the naive. Times have changed, if a missile locks on you, you're done for!"
"Besides the Three Essentials of Air Combat, remember, the most dangerous things in the skies aren't Giants Dragons, Fighter Jets, Bombers, not even Airships, but Early Warning Aircraft. Those things are pure hedgehogs, once radars detect an Early Warning Aircraft and there aren't enough allies nearby, forget it, just run."
Chen Fei blinked, taking notes in his notebook, yet still unable to comprehend.
Early Warning Aircraft? Hedgehogs?
He could believe if you said Early Warning Aircraft were covered in radar antennas, resembling hedgehogs,
But saying they are prickly like missiles, what kind of nonsense is that!
"'Peanut Butter' was right, I was intending to tell you when you boarded the aircraft, but now since he has already mentioned it, just jot it down! Don't try to provoke an Early Warning Aircraft unless you've achieved numerical superiority and completely overwhelmed it, or you won't stand a chance."
"Devil Pepper" Irinei Rusios's voice came through the wireless into Chen Fei's ears.
Early Warning Aircraft were inherently designed for an advantage, truly an outstanding external add-on in air combat. The difference between having an Early Warning Aircraft in an air combat group and not having one is significant; they are rightly called force multipliers in aerial combat, and the name is not at all for show.
Chen Fei tentatively asked, "Isn't an Early Warning Aircraft just an airborne radar?"
Even if you've never eaten pork, you've probably seen pigs run. As the name suggests, Early Warning Aircraft provide aerial alerts, spot targets in advance, control the overall operation, and respond instantaneously.
"It's not just an airborne radar, but also a large command and remote control platform."
On the way back to the Aircrew Base, Irinei Rusios took the opportunity to give this real rookie a supplemental lesson, lest he remain ignorant and become a laughingstock.
She continued, "Imagine encountering an enemy Early Warning Aircraft. Their high-powered radar detects you early, and nearby fighter jets launch missiles. Under the remote control of the Early Warning Aircraft, they fly at you from all directions. Do you think you could escape?"
Chen Fei said without hesitation, "I couldn't!"
"There's another scenario—just you versus an Early Warning Aircraft. The enemy only needs to fire a directed high-power electromagnetic pulse at you or use other electronic warfare techniques, and your fighter jet would fail to lock onto the target, or even lose control outright. If you're lucky, you might manage a gliding landing.
If you're not, like a jet, it would simply fall, and you'd have to eject to save your life immediately."
Irinei Rusios taught earnestly.
The return trip would take over three hours, idle as they were, it turned into a live instructional session. The whole afternoon was devoted to this, as it was originally part of the "Genuine Fragrance" Combat Flight Squadron.
In the back seat of Aircraft 211, Chen Fei noted rapidly in his notebook, not daring to miss a single word.
All these were important points. Even though he might not confront an Early Warning Aircraft in the future, these issues touched upon his own life and safety. It was better to take notes first as a precaution.
Chen Fei earnestly asked, "So, apart from running away, is there any way to counter an Early Warning Aircraft?"
A tipsy Chekhov answered first, "Only with an EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse weapon) and an Early Warning Aircraft. Fight fire with fire, in electronic warfare. Otherwise, you'd just pray for their electronic systems to malfunction, hahahaha!"
Being drunk didn't matter; he was still professional. Woohoo!~~~
"Devil Pepper" Irinei Rusios added, "Though that's the theory, in practice, an Early Warning Aircraft never flies alone. It's not fighting solo; it can mobilize not only nearby air forces but even ground tactical units through sheer numbers."
"What about anti-radiation missiles then?"
Chen Fei recalled that not long ago, aircraft numbers 214 and 215 from the "Genuine Fragrance" Combat Flight Squadron had first swept the Ground-based Radar and dense anti-aircraft artillery at Aircrew Base 897 with anti-radiation missiles—a clean and straight knockout, stunning the enemy completely unprotected.
The prized possession of an Early Warning Aircraft is its radar; knocking out its antenna would practically cripple it!
Chekhov pursed his lips and muttered, "Anti-radiation missiles are air-to-ground missiles, how could that even work?"
Such an unconventional tactic.
"It's untested, but with certain modifications, anti-radiation missiles might be feasible."
"Devil Pepper" Irinei Rusios pondered for a moment and admitted the possibility. However, the use of anti-radiation missiles comes with significant limitations and they're not as convenient as air-to-air missiles in many situations.
It would be better to just fire an EMP, leading to mutual annihilation of electronic systems, or have both sides' Early Warning Aircraft pressing each other, vying in terms of sheer power."
As of now, the number of downed Early Warning Aircraft stands at zero, whereas they have managed to shoot down quite a few superior fighter jets.
Even in one-on-one or one-versus-many scenarios, this toothless tiger shouldn't be underestimated.
"'Devil Pepper', if…"
Chen Fei, holding his notebook, continued to ask questions.
The communication channel of the "Genuine Fragrance" Combat Flight Squadron turned into a classroom for Chen Fei and Deputy Squadron Leader "Devil Pepper" Irinei Rusios, a lively question and answer session that used the time effectively and without delay.
Squadron Leader Chekhov would also occasionally chime in, especially on technical aspects, making fewer nonsensical comments despite his intoxication.
The others listened throughout the journey, finding it interesting and far from boring.
Three and a half hours later, the auxiliary fuel tanks of the five A-39B "Big Mouth Monster" light turboprop attack aircraft were already empty, with just a small fraction of fuel left in the onboard tanks. They lowered their landing gears and landed one after another.
Before they had even stabilized, the pilots jumped out of the cockpits, ran to the grass beside the runway, loosening their clothes, and a series of muddy or clear streams of urine shot far into the distance.