I felt my strength leaving my body as I stared into Kim’s eyes. I slowly dropped myself to the floor, but Kim was quick to pick me up. He brought me back to the office and placed me on the sofa.
“What’s your plan now?” Kim asked.
“You know what, how I wish I could turn back the time. I would not have chosen to work for you. I’d rather forget a part of my life than hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it.”
“Then what about me, Jakara? I had been searching for you for a long time, and this is what I get?”
“But Kim, I still don’t remember the feelings I had for you back then, although I feel comfortable with you around. Aside from that, we have hurt people. You hurt Maezy before by your indifference, and now for discarding her like trash.”
“I even think I knew why Maezy seduced Tim. It’s because she’s insecure.”
“And because she’s a nymphomaniac. You have no idea how she still goes out at night to have sex at a bar my friend owns.”
My mouth dropped at his revelation. My thoughts then went back to the collection of myriad sex toys she showed Ara and me before. I knew at that moment that it’s never normal for a woman to do that, especially those nude paintings she hung on the wall. Moreover, she had a son -- what kind of impression would that photo give to the child?
“But you could have sought professional support for her.”
“I did, but I ended it the moment she deceived me about the child. Do you think it’s easy to settle down with a woman who has become my foster father’s wife? And the woman who is linked to your cousin and business partner?”
“But I chose to pay for that one wrong act with her because of the child. Now, tell me. Does she still deserve my forgiveness? If she wants a cure, she has all the money to do that. And look how she treats her mother?”
I agreed with what he said, but I still insisted on my point of view.
“You’re talking about what’s wrong and right. But why do you want to take me away from Zed?”
“Because you’re mine first, Jakara. Your marriage to him is a mistake.”
“But Kim, would you ignore the shame and criticism for taking back a wife who has been with another man? You know very well that I wake up each day in the arms of Zed and that we make love any time of the day. But, aside from that, the people around you know the situation I am into.”
“Don’t you care about your image? Is your reputation not important to you? You’re a public figure in the business industry. So why do you choose to ruin it?”
“More than my love for you and the principle that I am standing for -- that I will have only one wife in this lifetime -- I have a perfect reason why I always stand up for this decision. But this is not yet the right time to tell you about it. I don’t want to rush things and run them prematurely. I want them to come out naturally and at the right time.”
“Until you remember me, Jakara.” Kim then stood up and left the room.
I buried my face into the backrest of the sofa and wailed as loudly as I could. Through the silence of the early evening where every office worker had already left, my voice had reverberated bitterly across the confines of my room. And if anyone would hear me, he would surely think my crying spell was already alarming.
Never in my life had I imagined going through this. Of all the things I didn’t like was hurting innocent people. Even if Maezy instilled those bad images about Zed, I would never believe it unless Zed himself would admit to the crime.
“Stop it,” Kim’s voice pierced into my ear. I didn’t notice him coming back. Perhaps, he was guilty of leaving me alone.
I didn’t listen to him. Instead, I cried even harder because his sympathy urged me to vent my fears, guilt, and pain in that outburst.
“Jakara, remember you're pregnant.”
“Are you concerned? This is not your child!”
“Are you serious? Do you think I’m a child killer? If I am, I shouldn’t have waited to file the case until you give birth. Your child has nothing to do with our mess. I can even be his father in the future if Zed allows.”
I sniffed in my tears, exhausting all my strength in that bitter cry. I no longer even have the energy to reply to Kim’s argument.
“Let’s have dinner,” he said, after a long time of being ignored.
“I want to go to the hospital. I want to see the child.”
“Whose child?” Kim asked, his brows upturned.
“Ara.”
Kim’s eyes lit up. “Really? Is it term already?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay. Let’s go,” he said, extending a hand to help me stand up.
I stood up but shook my head. “You can’t be there. I don’t have to explain why.”
Kim nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave once we are there.”
Just as we agreed, Kim left after I pulled over the hospital’s parking lot. I went directly to Ara’s room and found her there in a deep sleep. The door opened after a few minutes, and Zed stepped inside.
“The baby’s heartbeats slow down; that’s why she underwent a STAT Cesarean Delivery. It’s not her term yet, but thankfully, the baby is fine. He’s such a beautiful baby boy!”
“How about Ara?” I asked, staring into Ara’s face. “She’s as strong as a horse, but she’s still deeply sedated now.”
“May I see the child?”
Zed then led me to the nursery. Through a glass window, I saw a beautiful and chubby baby! At that moment, all my miseries and sadness disappeared! I laughed and cried, recalling Ara’s pain and emotional struggles. Even if Ara pretended to be tough, no woman is strong enough to bypass the sense of pain and bitterness.
Sadly, Ara was already firm in her decision to leave for the US after she gave birth. And I respected her decision.