I woke up later with Zed massaging on my feet. I moved abruptly, shifting into a sitting position, watching him as he pressed the tip of his fingers on the outer side of my soles. It was already past midnight, but his wet hair still sparkled against the light from the ceiling.
“Go back to sleep,” he said, smiling affectionately at me.
“Just arrived?”
“Thirty minutes ago.”
I wouldn’t complain or suspect him for anything. I knew very well the nature of his job. After his lecture, the small group meetings would take longer since every group would ask him to speak for another motivational word.
“I see, so go to sleep now. You must be exhausted already.”
He lay down beside me and pulled me close to him, placing my head on his chest. “I miss you so much.”
“Mmmm, miss you, too,” I replied in a sleepy tone, although my sleepiness disappeared the moment he cuddled me.
My thoughts immediately went on Kim and how I yielded to him in bed. All those memories were still fresh and overwhelming me with a sense of guilt. Yet, I couldn’t seem to imagine myself breaking the whole truth about my marriage with Kim. I could only hope Kim wouldn’t bring our case to court since I knew there was no way Zed and I could win. My only wish should Kim make the matter worse was that he would wait until I could remember everything about that past with him.
I didn’t know how long I stayed in my reverie. I only knew I woke up too late because the glaring sunlight was already piercing through the thin sheets of the curtains.
“Good morning, dear.” Zed’s voice rang in my head, so I turned to glance at him. He was already sitting in an upright position, his back on the bedboard. A motivational book by Robert Kiyosaki was in his hand.
“Good morning,” I replied, turning to my other side with eyes closed.
The part of the bed on his side then sank, and I knew he was lying beside me. As soon as the movement steadied, I felt his mouth on my nape, running down my shoulders.
“I miss this,” he said, pulling my hips close to him that I could feel a bulge pressing against my back.
“Go ahead,” I replied without moving to face him.
I bit my lip, anticipating his next moves. And I was right because he then ran his hand along the curve of my left hip up to the thigh. Lifting the hem to my flank area, his fingers then lifted off the garters of my undies, pulling it downwards. After taking it off, he then reached out for my mons, stroking It with his middle finger until he found my clit. Caressing it with his fingers a few times, he then turned me into a supine position while folding my legs afterward.
I knew what’s next, so I no longer feel embarrassed when he separated my legs and fed on my clit right away. After a minute or two, he then pulled down his boxers and positioned his tip on the entrance of my orifice. Seeing no resistance from me, he then pushed inside, moving in and out about five times before I felt him convulsing in pleasure. And that was it; he got fulfilled in just a few minutes while I was fighting off my annoyance for being left out.
I sighed inwardly. When would he get the courage to correct his sexual flaw – the premature ejaculation syndrome?
“Thank you, dear. It was so good,” Zed whispered in my ear, his breathing fanning the side of my face. I just smiled and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. And I really hope I could sleep off my frustration every time I got unfulfilled during our lovemaking.
He did his usual cleaning routine, and I just allowed him. However, I pitied him deep inside because this situation would make me vulnerable to the temptations Kim had set for me. Kim knew very well how to please me that he wouldn’t get inside me unless I got into orgasm with just his foreplay at least three times. And he wouldn’t stop moving in and out until a succession of jerky movements engulf me, signifying my release.
“Will you go to the office today?” Zed asked, putting down the lukewarm hand towel on the basin after cleaning me.
“Yes.”
“Okay. I will prepare our breakfast and take you there.”
He then stood up and took the basin to the bathroom. When he returned to put me on a fresh set of undies, a plan occurred to me.
“Drop me at my parents’ house on your way to the shop. I’ll take a taxi from there.”
It was Zed’s routine to visit his coffee shops every morning after taking me to my workplace. And I didn’t want to take his time from checking the needs of the shops. He only had mornings to do that since he would spend the rest of the day preparing for his lectures.
“It’s alright. I can wait.”
“I insist,” I said because I had other plans to do. I wanted to start my self-investigation about my past without any of them knowing, including Zed.
“Alright. It’s up to you.”
While taking our breakfast later, I could no longer hold back from starting to ask questions.
“Zed, can you still remember the date of our anniversary before?”
“Of course, that was February 14, eight years ago. You said yes to me on Valentine’s day.”
I laughed softly, recalling that moment. “I thought you had forgotten already. I really didn’t expect that we could last for seven years. I even wondered if you had some flings during those seven years.”
He chuckled and shook his head, his expression amused.
“None, of course. I even waited patiently for five years even I didn’t hear anything from you. But thanks God you came back.”
I furrowed my brows while staring at him. “What do you mean?”
Zed’s eyes widened for a moment, perhaps realizing he had spilled something he shouldn’t have, but he was quick to change his expression. I had no idea how they had agreed about it – whether to keep everything from me or wait until I would start asking about it.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” he said, dismissing the subject with a wave of his hand. He started to take the empty dishes to the sink.
“Zed? What is it? I don’t want to be kept hanging in the balance.”
He stood gluing his gaze at me for a couple of seconds before he pulled his chair to sit down again.
“I only mean to say that I had no complaints when you got unheard of when you went to Japan. I still trusted in our love for each other, waiting patiently for your return.”
“What did I say when I finally returned?”
Zed’s eyes got even wider as he gazed at me.