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I am running.
I am running late.
I had to gather all the strength to clean the floor. The floor is covered with mud and grease but I have no choice I have to clean it. Clean it before it gets too late.
Before the owners will arrive, I have to clean all the dirt anyhow. The floor was covered with stains of oil making it tough for me to get it clean.
I sighed leaning against the wall. The broom was so heavy for me to handle but what can I do now?
I am left with no choices.
I have to clean the mess, cover all the shit so that I can gather it in a big carry bag and get it to dump.
It took me around two hours to rinse the floor, tidy the tiles and wipe all the plastered grime.
My hands were shivering because of the cold, the thunderstorm was shrieking the New York City. I could see it with my eyes from this small tilted window.
Suddenly all the daylight got erased, the day became night.
New York City was telling me it was the time to let go of everything. The city was calling my name: it was revenge, it's anger everything was there for me to believe.
But I kept cleaning the floor, despite knowing how my heart was reacting, despite knowing I could die at any moment now. Despite knowing I can not look above because if I did the universe will break.
"Smiley, did you clean the floor?"
A sound very dangerous reached my ears. It was more of a command than a simple question and I was anxious to quiver my lips, I was anxious to say something beyond my thinking.
"Yes--" I tried to say but it more came out as a whisper.
The doors were closed, and now I was on the road. Rain was pouring on me. Its soft droplets were telling me a storm is about to come.
Maybe this time I didn't want to run away from here, this time I wanted to fight and look ahead to the storm.
Storms are the signs of the arrival of truth after all.
The only dress I had was linked to my skin, all the luxurious cars were passing nearby me and I was joking above at the sky.
I was in the middle of road l, looking straight at the sky and asking a question that I have never thought I will ask anyone.
"Why me dear God? Why me?" I closed my eyes and looked straight into the sky.
Oh shit, I have to run to my home to check if mama was alright or not.
She caught fever last night and I promised her that I will return soon with food.
The tall buildings were screaming my name, yelling at me, snickering at me all the time.
My hair was a mess. I could see the lights were on and as the rain stopped, the lightning on the buildings grew brighter, brighter than my future.
But I had to run, run fast! Run fast from here so that paparazzi would never find me. I see their reflection of them on the water.
On a count of
One
Two
Three...
I clutched my bag and ran to save my life.
***
"Ashely my baby, is that you?"
Her voice was fading, so was her vision.
Her old wrinkled face was dull and full of freckles, I could feel the horror in her voice.
Her trembling fingers were quipping when she was calling out my name. Her eyes were weak. Yes, she was losing her vision.
"Yes mama, look what I brought for you," I smiled, at least I tried.
She smiled back too.
To see that I am alive and near to her.
I sneezed, the rain must have injected me.
So I took a step back and went to the washroom to clean myself. I cannot go near her, I do not want to get cold because of me.
And all of this mess because of Blake Jensen!
Only God knows if he is alive or dead.
Only got knows where is he if he is alive, I swear to God if I ever meet bio even in my next life. I will strangle him with my own hands.
I took a shower, the water was hot cleansing my soul. Yes, I need to clean my soul and let go of all the mud inked on my body.
But I m desperate, desperate to run away from here. To end everything. However, whenever I see the face of my mother, her warm old eyes, my heart melts.
She has suffered too much in her life. Her husband abandoned her, she raised me alone so that I could do something great with my life.
But what I did!
I got stuck with the country's most ruthless billionaire and then everything changed.
Where do I go now? I am left with nothing!
"Ashley???" I heard her voice, her fading voice was enough to bring me back into reality.
"Coming mama!" I whined.
I wiped my tears and smiled looking at my glimpse in the mirror.
I hugged her, consoled her, told her that everything would be alright I m here with her, despite knowing that nothing would ever be right in my life. It's a constant loop, a circle in which I m hurled and no matter what I do I will never be able to get out of it.
I took out the burgers which I bought from the local food van.
At least for tonight, we will be having a peaceful dinner.
My ginger colour wig was hung at the corner side of the door.
The only thing which was saving me from getting into prison.
I am not Ashely Brooke for the world anymore, I am smiley for them. Ashley Brooke is dead so is my future to live peacefully.
Every day I get up in the suspicion of getting killed or getting into prison.
The woman in me is simulated and dead, I have lost everything, my will, my power, my freedom everything!
If New York city ever saw Ashely Brooke they will throw stones at her, they will let her be assassinated with their anger and humiliation.
I still remember that day when I was a child with a doll in her hand. The little toy was everything to me then one day papa left.
He left me and my mother for another woman, his drunken state was frightening for me at that time. He never cared for his daughter and the woman who was in love with him.
Ah! Love is such a ridiculous emotion of the human species to take with, but I am also determined to not get inclusive with such kind of rubbish emotion.
"Ashley what will you do tomorrow?"
"What we are going to do if the landlord came back again?"
"I will figure out something mama!" I muttered and went outside to breathe some fresh air.