Maya smiled as she hung up. She had just gotten off the phone with Melissa who had informed her that they were at the airport and she could already hear an animated discussion or banter between Ashley, Jasmine, and Jessica in the background which wasn't at all a surprise. All the girls did when they were together was banter and argue continuously which could be tagged discussions depending on the way you look at it.
Her birthday was a day after tomorrow and she had been moved by the gesture when Jasmine had remembered and suggested that they come around to make it memorable for her and she had agreed not only because she had missed them so dearly but because it is been three months of gazing at her phone screen wishing that Xavier name was on it but knowing she wouldn't know what to say if that happens and she desperately needed a distraction from thinking and pining for him.
Three months of wondering why she had to open her dumb mouth and suggest they needed time to sort their feelings out when she was so sure of hers. Was sure of it back then and now so much so that the thoughts of Xavier realizing that he has only thought he had feelings for her because of all they have been through, and discovering he couldn't possibly get trapped in being with one woman made her wonder if she had done the right thing and why she had not just ditched her foolish independency plot and latch on to him when he offered but the reminder that if he had discovered this months after when she had fully let him in would have broken her completely made her realize that if given a redo back to the day in his car she would still do the same damn thing.
It was a risky decision she was ready to make again and again. After all, regardless of how much she loved Xavier, she would never forgive herself if she ever woke up one day and discovered he was with her because he felt obligated to do that.
He was a good man. One who wasn't even aware of his goodness so she knew he wouldn't mind sacrificing his happiness and still putting up with her even if he discovered along the way all he felt for her was fleeting and not love. Maya has been tolerated all her life. First, her mother, then Jason, and she was prepared to die a thousand death before she allowed Xavier to toe that path with her so if he had truly discovered he didn't mean his profession then as hard as it hurts she was glad that she did what she did because she was done settling for scraps of love. Little bits and pieces. She was never settling for less, ever.
***
"You sure you won't be able to make it?" Maya asked as she tugged on her denim jacket while staring at Ashley who was face down on the bed.
"I'm sorry I'm ruining your birthday but I need to keep up with this particular client's scheduled appointment. He is a big one and a first-timer. I'm trying to impress."
Maya smiled in understanding. The pain of being a career woman, she thought even as she patted Ashley's hair.
"You didn't ruin my birthday. You all have made me so very happy since your arrival and I just want you to have fun." She smiled even as she tried to talk herself out of what she was about doing knowing that she had to be the responsible one but it was her birthday she reasoned and it'll be okay if she dropped her always on the clockwork of bring the voice of reason and just be gay, fun and encourage someone to ditch work.
"It is a Skype appointment, right? If you ever get on with it early enough you can come to meet up in this manicure and pedicure shop okay?" She asked bringing out a card with the address of the first place she and the girls would be stopping by on their exclusive girl's out trip, though aware there was no way she'll be nearly done with talking to a client, taking down what he needed, showing him her own designs, suggestions, and whatnot by then.
Ashley opened her hand and she placed the card inside, smiling a little as she walked out certainly knowing that she won't be able to pass up on the temptation. Ever.
"Happy birthday to you." She smiled as she stepped out of the room.
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday, Happy birthday to you."
Maya hugged Jasmine who was closest to her then Melissa and lastly Jessica who was holding a chocolate cake that she had to drop on the table before falling into Maya's arm.
"Blow out the candle." She coaxed watching with delight as Maya shut her eyes tight for a brief second and then blew out the candle.
"What did you wish for?" Melissa curiously asked.
There was a sad look on Maya's face at the question and the regret on Melissa's face realizing that she had hit a nerve, didn't make her feel better.
Of course, she had wished for something that related to Xavier. She was grateful for the friends in the room with her who had just been pure delightful and had introduced laughter to her little Boston studio apartment but regardless of how hard she tried to pretend like she was contented, she couldn't help but acknowledge that something was missing and she had wished that on her next birthday she would be sincerely at peace, wished that void would be filled and she could genuinely be happy.
"I can't tell you that. It won't come true if I tell anybody." She finally mumbled even as Jasmine came out of the pantry with a bottle of wine and three wine glasses.
"A toast," she proposed after making quick work of the bottle's cork with an opener and pouring the red wine into the glasses.
"To a sweet human being that fate happened to make unexpectedly cross our part. To Maya."
Maya chuckled even as the girls lifted the glasses while she couldn't help the tears that burned against her eyes at the emotions that shone in Jasmine's eyes.
"To Maya." They all echoed in unison.
She smiled and the smile remained on her face as she cut the cake, was fed some of it, and fed some too then they had kept the remaining in the fridge, their booked cab arrived and they left the house chuckling.