The world isn’t as black and white as those knight instructors would have you believe. It’s a mess of gray where fairness doesn’t exist.
Once I realized that truth the hard way, I threw away my helmet, leaving the life of a knight behind permanently.
In the outside world, where survival was the only code one needed, things made a lot more sense.
One must prove their strength.
One must prove their worth.
Only then can one prove what they deserve. Read full story at 𝙣𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡•𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚⚫𝙣𝙚𝙩
No more of those titles and privileges bull.
In the first few years of my free life, I joined a mercenary squad. They were a rowdy bunch, but they were worthwhile comrades.
I got to fight for goals I truly believed in. For money. For survival.
But those days didn’t last long.
One day, we took on a job from a shady noble to hunt for rare antlers from a certain creature in a certain location. Trophy hunting was a regular job we would often take, it’s often easy and pays really well, so the group treated this request like any other.
But, we were severely misinformed of our target location, Mount Kama.
An abominable creature lived there, protecting the creatures there as if they were its pets. If I have to describe what it looked like, it was a giant, walking, pulsating, lump of meat.
Yet it has two arm-like tendrils and two leg-like tendrils. It walked as if believing itself to be human.
Just seeing its figure alone was enough to make everyone freeze in fear.
Our leader ordered a retreat, but we were too late.
I was left as the sole survivor.
I brought the news of the members’ deaths to their families, at least to those I know of. All of them were stricken with grief.
Soon after, I joined a bandit’s group. I needed money to survive, and their group seemed the most promising, so when I came across some of their members, I pressured them into letting me join.
I had no moral qualms about taking what I could, it’s an eat-or-be-eaten world, after all. But our leader always made sure we only stole from those who deserved it.
A corrupt noble from the port town of Korngahm. A seedy traveling merchant with countless rumors surrounding him. The carriage of a spoiled brat.
It wasn’t like any other bandit group I had ever seen. I even went as far as thinking of them as half-assed cowards. I considered leaving as soon as I found a good-paying job I could go to next.
Yet, the longer I spent my time with them, the longer I hung out with their leader, those kinds of thoughts began to disappear from my mind.
The leader… He was an eccentric man. If I had to put it into words, he was naïve.
He believed in the goodness of the human heart, yet he was a bandit. He believed strength shouldn’t be the only factor to prove one’s worth, yet he settled disputes with duels.
He was the perfect definition of a half-ass in my book, but yet, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him.
As I stayed by his side, taking on jobs from stealing caravans to kidnapping for ransom, I felt like I finally found a place where I belonged.
I began to wonder if how I viewed the world was flawed.
Yet, before I could even buy him a drink, the world caught up to me.
We were ambushed at night by a group of armed knights, they report directly to a certain noble that we managed to piss off.
Due to the suddenness of the attack, our group couldn’t fight back as many were killed in their sleep.
Those who were awoken by the ruckus immediately began fighting off the knights. Yet the knights’ skills and Talents easily overpowered most of our members.
Only our leader and I had the necessary Talents to fight off the attackers.
But that too was not enough.
After a long fight, the knights retreated, carrying their injured away on horseback.
Many were massacred that day.
Including… our leader.
He had been struck by a volley of arrows, shielding my back when I wasn’t looking.
As I carried him to a safe place in a futile effort to save him, he whispered his last words to me.
“Don’t talk!” I said as I tried to assess his wounds. But he grabbed me by the arm, stopping me from turning him over.
“Listen to me, Togal…”
Despite being on the verge of death, his grip remained strong. I had no choice but to listen to him.
“This world… it’s unjust, as you say…” he said in between heavy breathing. “But… you shouldn’t just stand there and be lazy… you hear that?”
“W-what? Lazy? What do you–”
As he coughed up blood, his grip on my arm loosened.
“You were a great friend… I hope… my daughter grew up… as strong as you…”
He slowly closed his eyes, his bright smile never fading. He breathed his last breath right there, in my arms.
I didn’t know what he was saying, I couldn’t process his words.
How was being lazy connected to the state of the world? Had I ever been lazy with my work?
I deduced that it was another rambling of his, a typical thing of him to do.
He was a bright man, destined to change the world for the better.
Yet the world had swallowed him unjustly, like it always does.
I cursed myself for even believing I was wrong about the world. It never changed, and it never will. Even he accepted that.
The few survivors of the attack, including me, gathered together at dawn and buried our comrades.
After that, we went our separate paths. There was no way for us to continue working together without our leader.
I planned on saving enough money to travel to Denta, a kingdom where strength was valued above all. But I didn’t want to bring attention to myself with bandit work, and I couldn’t bring myself to join another mercenary group.
So, I moved around Setus, taking on odd jobs ranging from carrying cargo to ships to cleaning the gutters.
It was during this period that the world mocked me once again.
It was a rainy day and I had taken refuge at a nearby tavern. It was crowded with merchants, drifters, and locals of the town. I was there searching for any kind of work, anything that would pay me well.
I sat in a dim corner of the tavern, nursing a mug of ale. That was when I noticed a face I thought I would never see again.
A young girl working as a server. With dirty silver hair and bright yet soft eyes that could soothe a dragon.
A bright and cheerful person who could lift the spirits of even the undead.
She was the spitting image of him, down to the way she talked to others.
At first, I thought it was a trick of the light or the remnants of a dream. I blinked several times, trying to shake the image from my mind, but she remained there, moving from table to table with a bright smile.
When the opportunity arose, I approached her. She noticed as I walked in her direction. She stepped closer, putting on a bright smile, and asked, “Is there anything I can help you with?”
I cleared my throat, forcing a warm tone to not scare the girl away. “Tell me, what’s your name?”
Her smile widened. “Martha. Can I get you anything?”
Martha. How many times had I heard that name?
The leader would always tell stories of his daughter during our journey. The name Martha has effectively been etched into our minds.
But still, Martha was a pretty common name. And her similar appearance might just be a coincidence. I needed to make sure.
“Martha… Are you... related to a man named… Malcolm?”
Her eyes went wide, her smile grew even wider. “You know my father?!” She beamed.
I managed a slight nod. “Yes, I knew your father well. He was… a good man.”
Martha’s face brightened further, and she clapped her hands together. “Really? Oh, that’s wonderful to hear! It’s been so long since I’ve heard anything about him. How’s he been? How’s he doing?”
I could see the anticipation in her eyes, and my heart ached with the weight of the truth I could not bring myself to reveal.
I forced a shaky smile. “He… he spoke highly of you.”
“Oh! I hope he’s not telling weird stories about me!”
“Agh! Father’s always , I swear!” She pouted her lips.
I felt my chest tightening with every second. If I had to tell her the news, it had to be right then and there.
“Listen… about your father… I…”
“Yeah! I want to know! What’s he been up to? I’d love to hear all about it!”
The words lodged in my throat, and I could barely form a response. I wanted to tell her everything—about the last moments I had with her father, about his bravery and his final wish.
Instead, I forced a smile, my heart heavy with guilt. “He... he was proud of you. He spoke of you often. But, sorry I... I need to be going.”
“Huh? Wait! You gotta tell me more–!!”
Before she could press further, I reached into my coin pouch and placed a generous tip on her right palm. “Keep the change.”
Martha’s eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t get a chance to thank me. I turned and walked briskly toward the exit, the sound of the rain growing louder as I pushed open the tavern door.
I knew letting her know the truth should be the right thing to do. The world works unjustly, she needed to learn that. If she lived as naïve as her father did, only pain awaited her.
That smile. That bright attitude. What would happen to them if I had told her the news right then and there?
I was betraying myself by not letting her know. I was a coward. A half-ass.
I roamed the city aimlessly, the patter of raindrops against cobblestones seemed to echo endlessly. I was consumed by my own thoughts that nothing else mattered to me at that moment.
I had seen enough to know that the world would always be unjust. It was the nature of things. The weak got crushed, and the strong thrived, no matter how noble their intentions were, or how bright their futures could be…
I had left behind my old life as a knight because I couldn’t stand the rigid, black-and-white view of the world. It’s a mess of gray, it always has and always will.
How could someone like the leader and his daughter stay so bright in this world? Were they just ignorant?
But then, at that moment, I remembered the leader’s last words.
This world, it’s unjust, as you say. But you shouldn’t just stand there and be lazy… you hear that?
He knew the world was a mess. He wasn’t ignorant at all.
Only then did I realize what his words meant: even if the world was a mess of gray, it didn’t mean I had to sit back and accept it.
I was the coward, I was the half-ass, I was the lazy one.
I knew the world was unjust, and I accepted it. But he knew as well, and he acted on it.
He tried to fix the wrongs. Taking from the undeserving, giving to the needy.
That. That was what I admired about him. Not his strength. Not his leadership. But his determination.
It was then that I decided. I would continue his work.
Perhaps one day, I would gather enough courage to finally reveal the truth to Martha, and reveal to her the world her father had wished for.
Starting a bandit group wasn’t easy. I wasn’t born to be a leader. My initial attempts were rough. I gathered a few people, but many left almost as soon as they joined.
They were looking for a quick payday, not a cause. I struggled to earn their respect, and the group was in constant flux.
It took time, but I eventually settled with a handful of new recruits. They didn’t have much respect for me, and I didn’t blame them.
I wasn’t the charismatic figure I wished I could be. Yet, they were capable workers.
Our operations were modest at first. We targeted corrupt merchants and nobles, focusing on those who exploited others. It wasn’t perfect; we weren’t heroes, and our methods were far from flawless.
Eventually, however, we were contacted by a client. Something rare for bandit groups as most requests were given to mercenaries.
The client wanted us to kidnap a certain aristocratic kid and hand her over to them. He said that he planned on selling her for ransom.
Normally, I wouldn’t take the job. But…
“Do not worry, I promise that the child will remain perfectly safe," the overly formal gentleman said.
My mind went into a slight haze, I couldn't quite understand it. However, the client seemed trustworthy enough, and he offered a price I couldn’t ignore…
And so, I reluctantly accepted the job of kidnapping a girl named Carine Sareid.
I ordered most of my men to do the job, numbering in the dozens. Kidnapping was never my kind of thing, after all. Most I ever did was ransom off a carriage with a spoiled kid inside.
A small number of my men seemed excited the moment I relayed the request's details. Clearly, they were waiting for this kind of job for months. I clicked my tongue in disgust, but I couldn't raise my voice at them. I was the one who took the job.
Why did I even take this job...? This kind of thing isn't—
As I tried piecing things together in my mind, a sharp stinging pain assaulted my head. I shook it off, probably best not to think too far about this.
Not wanting to bother my men, who self-proclaimed themselves as master kidnappers, I decided to lay low and see if I could get fresh air. Anything to take my mind off of this weird feeling.
"Hah... This shit's too confusing..."
With a Luminite in a lantern on my belt, I headed out.