I was settled in my rooms, watching the noon sun behind the cloudy sky, as I sipped my cups of tea. The flavor of the tea tasted slightly different between my two bodies, but I wasn’t sure if that was just the temperature difference or if I was just overthinking things again.
I had finished the soup Eliza prepared for me, and it was delightful. A good change of pace not gonna lie. I also wrote a quick letter for Mom and Dad and handed it to a servant here. So I finished doing what I wanted to do.
Being able to relax gave me some ample time to think.
With my lunches finished and affairs settled, I was now onto the task of thinking again. I needed to find a way to make Feyt and Carine closer, without creating any unnecessary rumors. A tough task indeed.
I could have Carine teach Feyt as her training to be a future instructor… No, both Father and Mother would have me teach the whole class instead.
Maybe I could rationalize it by saying he’s my first student—from back in the cave incident—and he’s the one I’m most comfortable with? Nah, that reeks of impending rumors.
Perhaps I can position both Carine and Feyt as close friends while trying my best to emphasize the friend part… Hmm, that won’t work too. Worst case scenario, I’ll look like one of those tsundere-type stuff.
It’s a bit sad to say but, Carine was a cold loner. Suddenly having friends out of nowhere, especially with a commoner, was a bit far-fetched.
Thinking about it, it wouldn’t be all too random though. Feyt did help Carine escape from the bandits. Perhaps I’ll be training Feyt out of appreciation?
Agh, no, it won’t work.
No matter how many times I imagined it, I just couldn’t see the seemingly cold-hearted Carine being close to Feyt without making things look in character for her!
Then, as I was setting down my cups of tea, I realized something.
Why not just change it? The latest_epɪ_sodes are on_the 𝓷𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓵·𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕖·𝙣𝙚𝙩
If she’s too much of an ice queen to befriend someone, let’s just melt her bit by bit. Normally, melting an ice queen in stories is supposed to be an arduous task. But, thankfully, in this case, the ice queen happened to be me.
I could initiate my own change, at least, in the eyes of others.
To be is to be perceived. So what mattered here was others’ perception of me. As the future heir to the dukedom with an impossibly tight schedule, it made sense that I would grow up isolated from others. Couple that with high expectations and the fact that I’m the daughter of the duchess… an ice queen is born.
This default expression of mine wasn’t exactly helping, either.
If I suddenly change Carine’s attitude to be more similar to Feyt’s… First, that would feel both unnatural and discomforting. Second, others will think there was something wrong with my head.
But if I could change my habits gradually, and most importantly naturally, it would work, wouldn’t it?
If I do it well enough, Carine hanging around Feyt wouldn’t seem out of place!
This idea could work! Sure it would take some effort, but I was more than willing to put in any amount just so I could train with myselves in peace.
Okay, what should be my first step in this new self-discovery? Obviously, being a lot more friendlier.
There was no doubt the servants here respected me. They didn’t exactly fear me, but they wouldn’t dare chat with me casually. So why not show them that I could be fun to hang around with?
With no schedule for the next few days, this was the perfect time to do that!
I doubt the servants here would hang out with me right out of the gate though. If I commanded them to hang around me, I would change my status from ice queen to attention-seeking loner instead.
Clearly, I needed to start small, start with someone I knew but not specifically family. Excluding Feyt, that only left one candidate left.
With her on break as well, this was the perfect chance for me to hang around with her.
Heck, I could even tour the capital to hang around with her! Something I wanted to do ever since Feyt’s own unfortunate tour…
But, will Leila even want to hang around? She’s on break, after all. In a time of relaxation, I doubt she would associate herself with me, her boss. I know I wouldn’t. Seeing your boss’s face during a break can bring down your whole mood. Trust me, it’s from my own experience.
Well, I wouldn’t know if I didn’t try right?
I decided to just ask Leila if she was up for it or not. What’s the worst that could happen?
I was standing in front of Leila’s room. I had asked several maids near the halls about Leila’s whereabouts and they all said practically the same thing.
They haven’t seen Leila all day, so she must still be in her room.
I raised a fist and gently knocked on the door. “Leila?”
No response. Thinking my voice wasn’t loud enough, I knocked again, my voice a bit firmer.
“Leila? Are you there?”
I assumed she was just sleeping or she wasn’t actually in her room. But, curiosity got the better of me. I noticed that the door wasn’t locked from the light seeping in through the edges. I carefully looked around to see if anyone was watching me.
Slowly, I nudged the door open. Inside, I expected to find Leila sleeping soundly. But, I was met with a sight that could chill my spine for weeks.
Leila, sitting straight on the side of her bed, her eyes staring into nothing like a ghost.
Out of all the things I expected to find in her room, this wasn’t it.