...That was my first encounter with the ways of this world. I'm not na?ve or dumb, mind you, and yet one thing is to know that there are dangers out there, and the other... the other is to live through that, to have the sheet of safety and childness unveiled before my eyes.
The cruelty of aiming for the young, of how easily the hopes and dreams for fledgling can turn into mourning.
One glance away, that's what I takes. Is just that easily.
Cruel? Unfair? It doesn't matter for the flow of time, as things work the way things work, in the end... in the end, a kitty cub is an easier target than the mother griffin, and the other just wants a meat in his mouth at the end of the day.
Is just like that.
And yet as simple as the world makes it look as the matter isn't that meek, and as my mother watches over me after taking me back to the house where I was born to have the help of the winged humanoids, I cannot help but feel depressed about the situation as it play in my mind countless times as I try to find a reason as to why, even if I know there is none.
I few steps out of this shack, not even a day at our nest, and I'm already back and unable to leave, bandages all over my side, nothing serious, they say, but still here I stay with mother again, stuck on this makeshift nest.
My mother barely leaves my side, coiling around me, and as I stay still in pain none of us chirp anymore, save when I get scared by the sounds around us, which only makes her worry more and stiffen around me.
I cannot help it, I'm just a few weeks old and had such a close encounter with death, anyone would be scared stiff by it.
That's how we end up spending my recovery time by, Aaron coming into play once more by bringing in food and water and changing my bandages.
Even him, noticing the depressive aura in the room, does not try to speak and break it, only moving back and forth and doing his job fast so he could leave quickly.
Until, there is, the day he finally takes the bandages off and does not cover my side with a new one, the wounds healed enough for me to move about again.
Only that my mother disagreed.
"No, he is too small, who can tell if he is not hurt inside or anything? No, is far too dangerous, I think we will wait here a little longer, maybe a year or two and..." I wake from my nap only to hear mother talking to Aaron outside, but nervous as she is she ends up talking loud enough to wake me up.
"Alinda, I understand that you are worried for him and just got I big scare, but is not healthy for him to grow locked up like this, and-"
"No! You don't understand, he is so small, so little, he can die so easily, just like that, in a blink of an eye, one moment of distraction and I can lose him forever, can't you see? I cannot lose him, not him too, I-..."
Her words make me catch my breath and shame starts to overwhelm the fear I'm still feeling. Is my fault, having her worry sick like this for me, if I had not gotten distracted, if I did not act so much like a scary cat, but all I did was coil in fear and pain without thinking just how much I was hurting her.
Just thinking about how much my selfish acts made her this worried makes me sick with shame.
So while they are discussing the situation I decide that this is not the way I want to live, this is not the way I want to be, I'm not weak, even if I'm still an owl kitty one day I will grow to be as strong and dependable as my mother.
I cannot let her bloodline weaken with my own fears. I won't let them command me.
That's why I take a deep breath and test standing up, a little weak on the legs for the time I've spend in bed recovering, but once they stop trembling I give a few steps forward, and step by step get out of that wooden cabin.
They are still talking when I reach outside, but once they notice me they cease all sounds only to stare at me, as if wondering what I'm up to.
"Love, go back inside, mommy will be back in a moment."
However I ignore her and, unable to convey my thoughts through words yet I show it with my actions, keeping a calm face as I do not stop walking, going down the path we used to go to our home, our nest.
Mother is out of words as she watches my actions, then with a glance at Aaron she follows behind as we go back to our home.
I cannot be worrying her like this again, I'm the only one she has left, we are a family of two and have to stick for each other.
I've never been more certain in my life about something.
I've no time to lose, this world is not for the weak, and it would be reasonable to wait for me to grow and become stronger, but no, I've changed my mind, I need to do as much as possible to turn the odds to my favor.
So I stop once I get close to the river and chirp at it, looking at mother, then back at the river.
"What is it hon? Our furry feathers are no good to swim, is best for you to not go there. Hm? That's not it? Then what is it?" I chirp many times until she understands. "Oh, perhaps is... do you want the name of it? It is water, river."
After a few attempts I finally get her to say what the name of it is and, trying to chirp it out and managing a few syllables, I get excited once more and start pointing at many different things for her to teach me the name of.
"Wood, tree. Soil, earth. Sky, blue." And so on and on.
Ding - Celestial Language 2
Taken away from her worries she starts to get into this, as my achievements and her softening face makes me have a smile on my own.
There is no time to lose now, I have to get stronger no matter what, so I don't ever have to see mother that sad ever again.