“We are not defined by what we do. We are defined by what we endure.”
Ivy murmured the line as she stared at Aric through her screen. Aric was alone in the white space, balled up on the floor, hugging his knees and crying.
“Aric knew that by talking to Vayne, he was confronting his soul.”
Aric was murmuring to himself about how much he hated himself and Callista.
“But he still went and talked to him anyway. Aric knew that Vayne was guilty, and he still wanted to know his story.”
“But because of that, he has fully merged with him. Nathaniel healed him by letting Aric choose to talk with Vayne and, in return, merge them together.”
Ivy balled her hand into a tight fist and shivered.
“But… Vayne is dead. What Aric endured was Vayne’s life in seconds. To him, it was years living that nightmare, but in reality, it all happened in just a few seconds.”
“Vayne’s soul is now being judged by Lysandra… but man, fuck you, Nathaniel. You cheap bastard. You could’ve healed him normally, but instead… you chose pain once more.”
Ivy cracked her knuckles. “No point in waiting here anymore. I… should talk to him…”
She snapped her fingers and instantly teleported into Aric’s subconscious. She hovered above him before descending slowly.
“What do I even say to you? ‘I’m sorry’?”
“No, no. That… sounds stupid. This man just experienced 20 years of someone else’s life and learned the truth behind it. The degenerate man Vayne was… Aric must been sick to his stomach.”
She walked toward him and crouched beside him.
“Hey… buddy...” she said softly, touching his shoulder.
Aric slapped away her hand and immediately sat up in fear.
Ivy pulled her hand back and raised both hands to show she meant no harm.
“Aric… it’s me. I’m… back. I’m here… for you.”
Aric’s eyes darted around wildly, wide with terror.
There’s fear in his eyes… Callista’s torture must’ve made him scared of women to an extent. Or, he’s just scared after going through it. Either way, it's a problem if he is afraid of women.
I just hope he's only scared of Callista.
Ivy kept her hands raised and spoke gently.
“Aric, listen. I’m not Callista. Snap out of it, okay? It’s me, Ivy. You know? The annoying guide for you.”
For a long moment, there was no response. Aric simply sat there, breathing heavily, his hands clutching at his hair as if trying to hold himself together.
But after a few minutes, his eyes started to register who was in front of him.
“Ivy…” he croaked, his voice hoarse.
“Yes,” she replied softly, lowering her hands.
“It’s me, Aric. Ivy. Your favourite annoying guide.”
Aric didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he wrapped his arms around himself, rocking slightly as if seeking comfort in the motion. His gaze remained distant, unfocused, as though he were still trapped in fragments of Vayne’s memories.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Ivy continued gently, settling cross-legged beside him.
“But I’m not leaving, alright? Whether you want me here or not, I will sit here and wait for you.”
There was a long 30-minute silence once more. Ivy didn’t say a single word, only staring at the void in front of her. Aric let go of his arms.
“Like… really… fucked-up stuff…”
“Was it… worse than war?”
Aric gripped his shirt. “It… wasn’t, but it was up there. The… trauma is all engraved in me. I… lived as Vayne for 20 years. I was trapped in his body. I… I… fucking remember everything.”
Ivy nodded knowingly. “You were right about perfect memory. It is a curse.”
“I… did those things… I… fuck. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Nobody’s forcing you, Aric. You’re free to choose.”
“…mmm. But… since living in that body, I realized so many things. Vayne… at one point, had genuine feelings for Seraphina. Well, just for a short time. When I reincarnated into this world, I reignited that feeling again.”
“I… don’t know anymore. Vayne is an asshole, true and true. A fucking bad guy and… I don’t know. I don’t know how to form words or sentences anymore. I lived as him. I… did all of those things.”
“I saw myself touching Claire and hurting her. I saw myself taking drugs and feeling the high. I saw myself fucking Callista with pleasured eyes. I saw myself liking everything! I saw myself having joy taking away money from the poor!”
“I lived as Vayne. I feel like I am him now.”
Ivy looked at Aric with a questioning expression. “But do you feel like you want to pursue women?”
“Do you feel like you want to take drugs and drink yourself to death? Do you feel trapped with Callista? Do you feel like taking people's livelihood?”
“Then you’re not him. You can still differentiate between him and yourself.”
Aric stared at Ivy for a while, forming his thoughts. He realized that Ivy knew about Callista’s true nature and what Vayne had gone through.
“You knew from the start, didn’t you?”
Ivy looked surprised at him but gave a faint smile. “What do you mean?”
“I mean...that you knew what kind of person Vayne was and his memories. You lied about not having his full memories, didn’t you?”
She sighed. “Well, it was for a good reason.”
“…Thank you. I… probably would’ve done a lot worse if you’d given me the memories earlier.”
“Mhm. I am your guide after all. But most importantly now, with you finally facing Vayne and absorbing him completely, you… can wake up now.”
Aric turned his head away and closed his eyes. The white surroundings started to change into his small apartment back on Earth. Stacks of books were everywhere, the screen buzzed in the background, and the smell of pizza and shawarma enveloped the room.
Ivy looked impressed as she stood up and scanned around.
“Well, I meant waking up meaning into the real world, but… this isn’t so bad. Though, this is all just in your head.”
Aric didn’t answer and instead walked to his PC and sat on his chair. He moved his mouse to a document and double-clicked it.
It portrayed Noah and Anais in their school uniforms.
“I guess… you still want to see your kids, huh?”
Aric stared at the screen for a moment longer before answering,
“Mmm. After living… ugh. After all that, I realized that… I wasn’t so bad as a father.”
Ivy tilted her head. “You were never bad, Aric. You were a great father. I’m guessing this is, in a way, comforting yourself after knowing why Vayne had to change his family name now, huh?”
“…Yeah. It’s… understandable but, at the same time… so frustrating.”
“But, it’s deserved, no?”
He closed the photo and looked back at her. “Yeah. It is.”
The surroundings dissolved slowly, and Aric stood up. “So… how do I wake up, Ivy?”
Ivy walked toward him. “You’re ready to wake up?”
“…I got no other choice, do I? I still want to make amends.”
“Even after going through all that, you still want to make wrongs right? Even though none of that is your doing?”
“Well, it’s more than that, but yeah. I want to make it right. I’m not some hero or Samaritan… I just believe in doing good things.”
Ivy touched his shoulder with a firm grip and smiled widely at him.
“Good. I like you this way, Aric.”
She patted his shoulder. “Well, to wake up from this limbo, you would need to just…”
*******************************************
Thorin and Lira had been traveling by magic for some time now. They got lost a few times due to their pit stops and long rests, but they were finally near Ashwick.
The guard at the gate stood in their way, holding a spear upright.
“Greetings there. May I have your…”
The guard realized it was a dwarf . Well, a really tall one at that and the most famous elf.
The current Elite Grandmaster, Lira.
“Ma… ma… PRINCESS LIRA! PLEASE LET ME GET HER GRACE HERE!”
Before Thorin or Lira could even respond, the guard dashed straight into Ashwick and asked Alvin to call for Seraphina.
“Why is that…he recognised me but not you, dear?” Lira spoke as she stared at Thorin.
Thorin scratched the back of his neck, “I…don’t even know what to say to that, love. You are the head grandmaster and the strongest—”
She pulled his ears, “No. This means that you didn't do what I told you to do and go socialised with the people. You are going to get an earful from me later.”