Upon seeing Jung Hayan constantly crying behind Kim Hyunsung, my conscience stabbed at me.
She cried the whole way the entire time we rode back to Lindel, so it was perfectly reasonable to feel guilty. However, I had no choice but to maintain my serious expression.
‘I’m sorry, Hayan.’
I had to show her that I was still angry. If I didn’t, I would get myself into an unpleasant situation.
Not only did she suddenly crash into Yuno Kasugano’s room, but she also harmed the other guild members of the Yozora Guild.
She even deemed to use magic inside the castle. Though it was not intense, it still had the power to destroy the castle. From the standpoint of the aristocracy that had been present, it was a pretty serious incident considering it hadn’t been a long time after the Ito Souta incident.
They wondered if there was something wrong between Yozora and Blue, trying to catch the most popular rumors, but that proved to be an impossible feat.
Since this was an accident that happened in the castle, it would not be possible to hide this.
Since Yozora Guild and Blue were in an alliance, however, we could easily cover up the event.
If Yuno Kasugano didn’t have full control of Yozora, it would have been a big incident that could cause irreparable damage to the relationship between Blue and Yozora.
‘Fuck…’
Of course, it was evidently a big incident for me as well. I had to convince Jung Hayan somehow, but there was no way I’d be able to convince her. It was clear that logic wouldn’t work on her, which was why I took the option of acting all angry.
I was able to end the case by acting as if nothing had happened and getting angry instead over how rude Hayan had been. I knew there were many more options I could have taken, but I didn’t have the time to think about it because I felt embarrassed enough about the entire situation.
Though we were covered by one blanket and had evidently spent the night together, I continued explaining that what Jung Hayan thought had happened did not actually happen.
Although I was almost naked, I made an excuse, saying it was needed for the ritual to do magic.
When I managed to lie without batting an eyelid, I surprised even myself by how naturally I seemed.
‘I really am complete garbage.’
For a moment, I felt similar to the sh*tty black world Lee Kiyoung. The reaction my acting incited was even more impressive.
Jung Hayan began to look doubtful at how convincing I sounded.
I knew that to keep up with the act, I had to successfully maintain my acting. I started by telling her how disappointed I was in her, then informing her of how rude she was. I then told her that she needed to reflect on her actions.
Afterward, I asked her to apologize to all the Yozora guild members.
Yuno Kasugano, who was quick to notice, jumped on the acting, thereby making Jung Hayan seem like the traitor among us.
As a result, I had to keep the cold façade up until now.
‘Sorry, Hayan…’
Didn’t they say that the one who loved more was also the weaker one in a relationship? This event proved that.
With embarrassment, guilt, and realization over how impulsive she had been, Jung Hayan remained shell-shock in that situation, not knowing how to react.
Of course, I did not contact Yuno Kasugano after that.
After the ceremony was over, I decided to leave without saying anything. This was because I thought Hayan would ride behind me, but she instead chose to ride behind Kim Hyunsung.
I had pushed Jung Hayan to this extent just so she wouldn’t cause any accidents later.
Kim Hyunsung thought that we just had a lovers’ quarrel. If only he knew…
‘This shouldn’t happen the next time.’
I eventually realized that Jung Hayan wanted me not to hate her more than she wanted to prove her doubts wrong. Back then, I had forced her to apologize, choosing not to acknowledge her trembling form. Of course, she had to concede to my orders.
This emphasized the fact that I really was a piece of sh*t.
After that, not a single day passed where Jung Hayan didn’t cry.
When I looked back at her while riding White Paul, I saw her continuing to wipe her face with one hand. Until now, I had been doing well, but I was soon reaching my limit, too.
“Let’s take a break and go.”
Due to Hyunsung’s excellent five senses, he understood the atmosphere and had chosen to act upon it. Upon his suggestion, I followed him into landing on a nearby cliff.
Afterward, an awkward silence ensued.
Actually, it was Kim Hyunsung who acted more awkwardly than I did.
‘This bastard.’
I knew he was quite insensitive in this aspect, but it was very unfortunate seeing him look between Hayan and us in such an obvious manner. From his perspective, this strange silence probably felt as striking as if a thunderbolt lit up the sky.
If this were a mistake between the party members, he would try to mediate somehow, but as Jung Hyan and I’s personal problems were entangled, it seemed that he didn’t know how to go about this situation.
‘I wasn’t expecting anything, anyway.’
“Let’s have a quick meal and move on.”
“Yes… It would be nice to do that, Kiyoung-ssi.”
He was evidently trying to widen the distance between Jung Hayan and me.
After we took our seats, he started to take out the food he had brought from the Royal Castle. Jung Hayan kept wiping away her tears as she helped him prepare. Upon seeing this, my guilt refused to go away.
Though Hayan evidently did not have any appetite, she still forced herself to eat. It appeared that she had been crying with everything she got, but seeing my cold disposition, she soon held back her tears.
Jung Hayan was very much aware of me, while Hyunsung was very much aware of her. Thus, a strange meal unfolded before us.
“I-It’s a nice day.”
“Ah… Yes.”
It wasn’t actually very good weather. Embarrassed by what he had said, Kim Hyunsung decided to shut his mouth. Meanwhile, Jung Hayan continued to force herself to eat.
As this was an atmosphere that I had created, it was also my job to take care of it. In the end, I had no choice but to reach out to Jung Hayan first to reconcile.
When I inadvertently put some of my food onto Jung Hayan’s plate, she looked up at me in shock. Eventually, a new batch of thick tears started streaming down her face.
“Hmmmk… Hmmmk… Hic…”
“You should eat a lot.”
“Okay… Hmmmk…”
“Slowly.”
“Yes. Hmmmmk… I’m… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry… Ugh…”
“You’re going to choke.”
I felt quite uncomfortable.
‘It shouldn’t be like this…’
I felt like I did something bad, but since I had reached my limit, I had no choice. Jung Hayan and I were, in fact, officially maintaining the position of being lovers.
Though this wasn’t one based on genuine love, we at least had some semblance of feelings for each other. We’d go on our own dates, whisper sweet nothings to each other, and be intimate every now and then.
It didn’t matter if I truly loved her or not. I was her lover, and that was an undeniable fact. Jung Hayan was also aware of this.
If she found out that her boyfriend had spent the night with another woman, reacting this way was something that any normal girlfriend would do. However, this wasn’t a normal situation, and Jung Hayan was not a normal person.
‘Yes. I had to do that.’
Once again, I had resorted to making up excuses. My relationship with Jung Hayan required a constant acquiring of power instead of the relationship being purely romantic. However, if I were to think about the Cursed Shrine incident, the guilt returned.
It may sound like bullsh*t to some, but I was evidently the powerful one in this relationship.
Seeing her still eating with tears running down her face had been enough to weaken my mind, but I had to remind myself that I should not let go of my tension.
After eating, I boarded the griffon once again.
At this point, Hayan looked torn between riding behind Hyunsung once more or riding behind me. At this, I reached out to her, and a smile immediately formed on her face.
“Heh… Hehe.”
She instantly looked better, and I instantly felt more comfortable.
“Hold tight, Hayan.”
“Yes!”
Her voice was livelier than before. She must have thought she had been forgiven to some extent.
‘I should have done more research, anyway.’
I had a lot of work to do once we got back in Lindel, and since I didn’t have the time to decide if I could still maintain this uncomfortable relationship with Hayan, I had to compromise for the time being.
For now, I had to focus on strengthening Park Deokgu and creating a spark of change with my research and work.
I hoped I would be able to achieve both. Although the research should be a bit difficult, I knew I’d be able to yield some results at least.
‘Why?’
Because Lindel had a treasure trove of knowledge.
Although I did not have time to study it in detail, Dialugia herself was a living specimen. She was a great sample that would let me know everything about dragons.
Of course, I also felt worried about whether I could understand Dialugia with my current knowledge, but I knew it would eventually work out.
The only way to evolve Park Deokgu would be to find some results with my research.
‘A serum.’
The most realistic plan for reinforcing Park Deokgu was already being drawn into my head.
Eventually, the Free City of Lindel entered my point of view.
I wanted to relieve my accumulated fatigue, but I knew it would be better to start my research right away. It was then that I caught sight of an unfamiliar building coming into view.
No, to be precise, it couldn’t even be considered a building.
“Huh?”
It was an architecture that looked like a cave. The problem lay in the materials that made up the building.
‘Mithril?’
It feels like the building itself was covered with mithril, though it had been made of many other metals that I did not know of.
Basically, the massive structure made of heroic-grade or higher materials was of the right size to house Dialugia’s dragon body.
At this, I remembered what I had told Dialugia before leaving Lindel.
“We are planning to build a nest, so you can do whatever you want.”
‘You’re crazy! You’re crazy!’
“You don’t have to worry about money.”
‘This is crazy!’
“You can do whatever you want to do.”
“This crazy girl!”
This was what would inevitably happen if I left bankbook management to someone who had no knowledge about the economy. I had to hurry back and check my safe.