“I... love... you,” Big Boy said.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
A few minutes later, the noises and the voices stopped. Even without the Telescope, I could tell that they had already breathed their last. Of course, no tears came out of me.
‘Stupid bastards.’
I understood better than anyone that I couldn’t go together with Big Boy, Carlton, and Yoojin. Their deaths were set in stone. Like I always said, the first life was a world meant to be discarded in the end.
There was the option of turning them into templars and bringing them into the second life, as there was no guarantee that they would be as lucky as that pig. They had thrown themselves into the fire.
Now that I thought about it, they went out pretty impressively as mere meat shields. They had a beautiful and dramatic end. Honestly, I had to acknowledge what had to be acknowledged.
‘At least they were useful.’
The right farewell was to give them applause.
‘And they were kind too...’
The hambier meat was a bit annoying, but I could say that they were the ideal guardians. They kept me safe until Jo Hye-Jin arrived and helped me in many other ways as well.
Thanks to them, I enjoyed the first life. Of course, their room was filthy, their sense of hygiene was terrible, and they smelled as if they had never washed their entire lives.
Thinking about it now, their scent wasn't that unpleasant. Their cheerfulness allowed me to spend time with them without much discomfort. Without those idiots, it would‘ve taken me longer to settle down.
Even just leaving the Magic Tower and establishing an identity would have been a problem. Surviving the first life in the body of a kid would be far too difficult. They were without prejudice and full of affection. They were the kind of people who couldn’t ignore a kid with a retainer brand, even though they knew the kid would cause them trouble.
‘That’s not all, either.’
Jung Ha-Yan was still alive. She was groaning in pain with several swords stuck in her, but we survived thanks to them. Since the third-rate extras managed to play this kind of role before leaving the stage, what reason would there be to grieve?
‘They’re pretty amazing idiots.’
Nobodies, really.
And yet they saved the lives of the Archmage and the Saint of Sacrifice and Revival. Lives that would have been swept away in a great war and snuffed out like flies were put to use this way, so from my perspective, it was right to see it as an unexpected stroke of luck.
"Big Boy hyung," I said.
"..."
"Big Boy hyung?" I repeated.
"..."
"Big Boy, you idiot. Are you dead?" I asked.
Of course, it wasn’t that I felt no regret.
‘I probably could’ve used them for something better.’
If only they hadn’t acted on their own like this. If those damned pigeons hadn’t come down at this exact time, I could have made better use of them.
Just then, I heard Jung Ha-Yan’s faint voice. “Oppa... Oppa....”
Still crouched and shielding me with several swords stuck in her body, she somehow looked like she had survived. I quickly poured potion over her wounds, fed some potion into her mouth, and looked around.
“It’s okay, Ha-Yan,” I reassured her.
“O-Oppa... are you... okay...” she asked.
“Yeah. I’m okay,” I replied.
Big Boy, Yoojin, and Carlton were still holding onto me and Jung Ha-Yan so tightly that it was difficult to escape their grasp. Naturally, I crawled out before I could suffocate. I lifted their heavy hands aside, and once outside, the sight I’d seen earlier through the Telescope came into view.
It was the same as with Kim Hyun-Sung.
Their backs looked like porcupines, covered in swords.
“Big Boy,” I called out.
“...”
“Carlton?” I called out.
“...”
“Yoojin?” I called out.
Just in case, I tried pulling out some of the swords stuck in their backs, but they remained frozen. Rafael’s party and Kim Ah-Young seemed to have barely survived.
Perhaps it was all because the old mage had sacrificed his life to cast a powerful defensive spell. Unfortunately, the old mage seemed like he was dead.
Seraphim and Dominions were nowhere to be seen. I had no idea if they left because they thought we were dead, or if they thought that this was the end.
‘Seraphim... Seraphim...’
I was not sad; it was just that disgusting blond pigeon truly made me sick.
What could be more foolish than grieving over a hand one had already thrown away?
This was different from the time with Kim Hyun-Sung. Back then, even I could tell I was confused and agitated, but now, I was calmer and more composed than ever.
‘Just think of it as some disposable pawns putting on a big performance before being tossed aside. It’s not like I invested in them like I did with Hyun-Sung. I didn’t raise them with care, so this much is actually a good bargain.’
I wasn't feeling anything.
‘They were going to die anyway, weren't they?’
And yet... I...
‘Damn it.’
I was supposed to be the one to make use of them. As I stared at their cold, lifeless bodies, I ended up coming up with useless thoughts again and again, even though it was over.
‘They were mine.’
Even if they were going to be sent off, I ought to be the one to do that.
It was partly these stupid guys’ arbitrary decision, but the one who designed this situation was someone else.
Just like how Flower Ki-Young had sent the veteran warrior off to push the party's awakening, perhaps the one controlling the current situation was First Ki-Young.
I had no idea if he wanted to make me his enemy, but that motive made sense. The reason he took out Jung Ha-Yan sooner than expected also made sense.
He was doing what I usually did; the only difference was that I was the regressor, and he was the user.
At first, I couldn't understand it, but now, I finally understand. He discovered the regression and wanted to make a rival. If he had truly chosen me as that rival, things would fit together to some degree.
If he wanted to create a situation where the human faction and the Outer Gods would fight until an empty world dyed in sunset was all that remained, then his actions would make perfect sense.
From First Ki-Young's point of view, the mysterious brat was the perfect pawn to oppose and wear down the continent. He had to have seen me as someone who could make the hopeless-looking human faction stand up to the Outer Gods and as the person to put an end to his twisted plan.
‘But you know what?’
'I don't think you need to stick around.'
The idea that I had to keep First Ki-Young alive and carry him to the end was nonsense.
‘I can do it from start to finish.’
'I can get rid of First Ki-Young and take his place. Is there any reason he absolutely must carry out the regression? Isn't it right that I take over his role? If Jo Hye-Jin’s second life version can take Jo Hye-Jin's first life version’s place, why can't I?'
‘It's not necessarily impossible.’
After all, the future had already changed.
‘That's what you want, too, right? You wanted me to at least stand with the human faction, stand at the center of the continent, and oppose you, right?’
I was sure of it.
‘I need to think sad thoughts.’
Now that things had come to this, it seemed right for me to awaken once.
If that was what those bastards wanted, then I would give it to them.
“Big Boy... are you alive?” I asked.
“...”
“Big Boy hyung?” I said.
“...”
No matter how I looked at it, this was the moment to squeeze out every last drop of emotion from within me. Remembering old times was probably the best way. Starting with the day he fed me hambier meat...
‘Get into the mood, Ki-Young.’
No, I also had to remember the first time I met him.
“You were brave, you know? If I were your age, I would run right away. You pissed yourself and showed a pathetic side of yours, but you were pretty cool. You should be a little prouder of yourself.”
“...”
“Now... look at that.”
“...”
“See? Isn’t it great? It’s a beautiful sky, isn’t it?”
What was that about showing the sky? It felt like tears would start dripping down my cheek any second now, but they actually weren't falling.
I still couldn't quite get into the mood.
“Hey, bring me some hambier skewers so I can feed the kid!”
'Why is it that all I remember is eating hambier meat?'
“The kid went crazy for it too... Let’s ask for hambier today, too. It came from the Blue Guild, so it’s gotta be different.”
'Damn it, why does hambier keep coming to mind?'
“Look at this brat drooling in his sleep. Hahaha. See how he reacts automatically at the word hambier?”
'Damn it, what is it with hambier, seriously?' I couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.
“Big Boy... Carlton... Yoojin... get up, you bastards,” I muttered.
“...”
'No touching lines, no cool final words? Be happy. I love you. I already heard that before he died. Don’t we have some memory, some kind of story worth telling?'
Damn it, I just couldn't get into the mood. In truth, it wasn't his words that were memorable but other things like their scent. Strictly speaking, I ought to call it their "smell," but what I really remember was their chests that hugged me tight and their hands that ruffled my hair.
Their laughter and the pats on the back while eating... those little meaningless gestures. Bit by bit, I started feeling emotional.
‘Good.’
It felt like the tears were going to fall, but they didn’t fall.
Even so, something was boiling inside me. Like throwing a stone into a calm lake, ripples spread outward. Soon, the stillness turned into waves, affecting something deep below the surface.
‘The death of extras is normally the catalyst for the protagonist’s awakening.’
'That's what you want to see, too.'
‘Now look at what kind of enemy you’ve created.’
The system still wouldn't allow the descent of a transcendent being. I could feel it; it was warning me, saying that it was impossible. It was saying that it wouldn't allow it.
Even I could sense that an overwhelming wave of pressure was closing in on me, and it was something I couldn't withstand at all.
Regardless, a protagonist who had lost their extras was meant to awaken in moments like this.
[The Monarch of Lust and Eternal Sleep...]
Tears of blood began falling down my cheeks. Just like last time, I floated slowly into the air. My clothes were torn apart, replaced by snakes wrapping around me. The snakes in my hair screamed in unison. I didn’t even have time to check how my appearance had changed.
Looking down, I saw the retainer brand that hadn’t faded away.
‘I’ll just leave it for now.’
I decided to leave it alone for memories' sake.
"..."
"..."
I could sense that everyone’s gaze was on me.
The angels and the adventurers cast their gaze on me.
First Ki-Young was probably watching me as well.
‘Do you finally understand what kind of enemy you’ve created?’
[The Monarch of Lust and Eternal Sleep is descending.]