Translator: tarararawr
Chapter 52 Part 2
The youth had lived at this home for more than ten days. Except for a single armchair, the white cloth on other furniture had not been torn off. The dust on the chandelier had not been wiped off. It looked like he had simply cleaned the bare minimum on the day he arrived to live with.
He had been away from her for so many days, and he was not living well.
After finding him, she thought most of her worries and despair would disappear, but instead, the anger and resentment she had been suppressing kept rising.
She blamed him for leaving her, and blamed him even more for not taking good care of himself.
Zhang Man let go of his sleeve and stood in front of him with her arms crossed. She hardened her heart and pretended to be indifferent as she looked at him. “Li Wei, do you want to celebrate the New Year alone or do you want me to celebrate with you? If you want me to go, then I will leave now. My mom and Uncle Xu are waiting for me at home. They won’t give me instant noodles to eat.”
“I…”
The teenager listened to her question. His eyes had clearly darkened, but he couldn’t answer.
Look, you don’t want me to leave at all. Why do you pretend that you don’t care?
Zhang Man felt like her heart was soaking in a pitcher of lemonade. It was sour and helpless.
Some frustrating emotions began to rise.
“The Arts and Literature Department of the school has a New Year’s performance tonight. It’s singing. A few days ago, senior Qin Shuai sent me a message asking whether I would go. I heard many students say that the seniors not only play the piano well, but also sing well. I want to listen to it.”
“What do you think? Do you think I should go?”
“Man Man…”
The youth finally couldn’t endure it and looked back at her helplessly. She could see the struggling and painful look in his dark eyes.
His fingers were inching towards her sleeve without him realizing it.
Can you keep pretending? Aren’t you supposed to be very calm, cool and indifferent?
Zhang Man lowered her eyes and smiled. She added to the fire.
“Li Wei, we broke up, right? You said in your last email that you think I will meet someone better in the future. That’s right, the world is so big, I should try it. Do you think it’ll be good if I go out with senior Qing Shuai? He is a very good person, with a good upbringing, good grades, handsome, sunny, and won’t…”
She spoke and lightly chuckled.
“Won’t disappear like some people.”
After hearing her words, the youth’s body shook violently.
He pulled her sleeve and held her shoulder. He was impatient to take her into his arms.
He left her for her own good and to not harm her.
But what better person? She was his, and only his.
The intense bitterness and pain made his eyes turn into a terrible red, and his rational thoughts completely prevailed at this moment.
Zhang Man’s heart ached when he saw him like this.
It was obvious that he liked her a lot, and he couldn’t tolerate being apart from her. Why torture himself and her too?
She gently pushed him away and continued to add to the fire.
“Li Wei, don’t touch me. We have nothing to do with each other. Why should I let you hug me?”
She wanted him to admit that they were still together.
The youth’s body stiffened. His hands were still on her shoulders. He stubbornly did not take them away.
But he still didn’t speak.
Zhang Man lowered her eyes and sighed.
“Go and cook the noodles. I’m really hungry.”
The youth was silent for a long time, but he finally nodded and walked to the kitchen.
Zhang Man watched him enter the kitchen, and leaned against the door weakly.
The panic and confusion in her heart seemed to be relieved only by blocking the door and preventing him from running away from her.
Zhang Man took out her mobile phone and sent a message to Zhang Huifang, telling her that she had found Li Wei and would not go back to celebrate today.
Thankfully, Zhang Huifang had Uncle Xu, so Zhang Man didn’t have to worry about her too much.
A few minutes later, the youth came out of the kitchen with two bowls of noodles and put them on the table.
“Come and eat noodles, Man Man.”
Zhang Man ignored him and went to the living room alone. She wanted to move the big sofa and block the door.
What if she was away from the door and he wanted to run again?
Where could she find him again?
She used all her strength to push the sofa, but it was solid wood and big. She could not move it at all.
She felt like the whole world was laughing at her—laughing at how weak and powerless she was.
The suffering and hopelessness in her heart suddenly exploded at this moment.
Zhang Man kicked the sofa hard. The soft slippers collided with the solid wood sofa. It was definitely not the sofa that was injured.
She squatted on the ground in pain. She broke down and cried.
The lousy sofa was like its owner. Always opposing her.
She had been looking for him for so many days.
Nobody knew how she had been living her life and how desperate she was. Every day, aside from looking for him, she would close her eyes and just live in her imagination.
She didn’t know that a person could still cry so much.
Every day—every single day—she thought that she might lose him when she opened her eyes. She went to Z City alone, and could not stop crying at every place she went with him.
While others were joyfully waiting for the New Year, she could cry at every corner of the streets.
She was not even looking forward to the New Year.
“Man Man…”
The youth saw her squatting and crying, so he panicked. He quickly walked over, squatted down and carefully patted her on the back.
He didn’t know what to do besides stroke her long hair.
She was squatting on the ground and crying like a wounded kitten. It made his heart ache.
What was it like this?
Why didn’t everything go as he had planned?
How could she be so persistent and continue to find him for this long?
He left her so that she could live a good life. How could she become like this?
“Man Man…”
The youth gently put his arms around her shoulder, but Zhang Man pulled away from him.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me Man Man.” *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ??????? ??? ?????????? ??? ???? ?? ?????????.??? ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
“Didn’t you not want to hold my hand? Why are you hugging me now?”
“Do you know how many roads I have traveled today? Do you know how many places I have gone to look for you these days?”
She looked up at him with tearful eyes.
“Do you know how sad I’ve become after you left?”
The youth’s heart, at this moment, suddenly hurt and was about to burst.
He could no longer listen to her.
He picked her up and put her on the big armchair. He bent down, lifted her chin and kissed her.
Like the first kiss, he covered the girl’s eyes. But this time it was not to let her concentrate on the kiss.
It was because he couldn’t let her see his red eyes that were pouring with frantic tears.
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