Ana!”
I turned quickly, Caroline was waving at me from near her car which was parked under a tree in the HSM Orchid yard, this afternoon I was going to fulfill Benjamin’s request, and Caroline agreed to go with me. Since Sean left for Germany yesterday morning, the apartment has been quiet. I also feel that inside of me. A day without seeing Sean really sucks, I miss him. Our bed felt very empty and every corner of our apartment room felt dead and boring, lucky that I have a job that can distract me from this empty feeling, even though after I return to the apartment the feeling comes again, I feel very lonely, just a short message from him which I received after he arrived in Germany safely.
It was enough to give me some peace of mind but I miss hearing his voice and he must be very angry with what I’m doing right now, breaking his word to not go to Benjamin’s request but I need a distraction, My Inner Goddess raised her brow and looked at me with a ‘it seems -someone-has been-mentally-ill’ I exhaled heavily, yes, I’m mentally ill without Sean with me. I smiled happily when Sean called me.
“Hi, honey, miss me???”
“Where are you??”
I didn’t answer the question because the answer was too obvious.
“On the way to the apartment just got home from work, did you?”
“I’m on my way home too.”
I bite my tongue as a sign I’m lying, I’m not going home right away.
“When are you coming back??”
I want to know and make sure.
“Tomorrow.”
“Certain??”
I can feel his smile there, and his smile rubs off on me.
“Yeah, sure, I know you miss me a lot.”
My heart constricted, I wish he could get here quickly.
“Yes, I miss you, then hurry home or I will misbehave.”
Sean laughed, I feel like I haven’t heard that laugh in a long time, my Inner Goddess sneered at me, she’s only been gone for 48 hours and I’m like someone she’s been abandoned for years. Oh my God, what did Sean do to me to make me like this??! ‘Not him, but you who love him’ My Inner Goddess answered my question.
“Do you like your punishment, Mrs Valentino?”
The question affects me I squirm in my chair, how did he do it?? He’s even on a different continent from me.
“So far I like my punishment.” My senses cast a disgusted look at me, I sounded so desperate for more punishment.
“If you misbehave, you will be punished, I have to hang up, honey, bye, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“What’s with being naughty??! You’re going to be punished for that??”
Unlucky! I forgot the existence of this curious queen beside me, I glanced nervously at Caroline, my mind working to find a good answer.
“Just a natural and classic punishment.”
I cursed myself for having to blush while saying this, can’t this be a fair discussion??
“Classic? Like what???”
Earth, swallow me now! I shouldn’t have talked about this when Sean called me while Caroline was with me, what if Caroline judged this as something unnatural?? Well, that’s not fair!! My mind snapped, making love over pain mixed with pleasure and punishing through sexual intercourse, that’s something that probably not everyone goes through. Maybe Caroline went through it with Andrew, Of course not!! What kind of person would want to do that unless he was mentally ill!! I snapped out of my senses screaming angrily at me, My Inner Goddess contemplated on her red sofa,
My husband is mentally ill.
Suddenly my heart fell at my feet.
“It’s nothing,” I replied, trying my best to hide the anxiety that suddenly overtook me. Benjamin hugs me when I appear before him, always like this when we meet, lifting me up and twisting me under his arms. I laughed when he did that, watch your attitude Ariana! My Inner Goddess warned and I paid little attention to the warning. Everyone is here, I join the others at the table and sit between Benjamin and Jessica. Caroline sat between Peter and Rebecca. Rebecca is my fashion stylist when I will appear On Air or Off Air, then Ramona who sits next to Rebecca, she is a makeup artist and one of the Beauty Bloggers with hundreds of thousands of fans spread across various countries. There was also Edward with us, a professional who almost kissed me in public when he was drunk, but that was a long time ago, I imagine Sean’s attitude when he saw Edward maybe they should never have met.
Currently, Peter is at the peak of his career as a newcomer singer who is much favored by teenagers, especially women, Peter is handsome but if at this time I was still single, Peter would not be my lover in my eyes he is like a duplicate of Justin Bieber.
“How’s that rich Valentino? Did he spoil you? I heard he just bought a property in Hawaii.”
I looked at Edward with a surprised look, Sean bought a property in Hawaii?? When?? What did he buy?? The thought of Sean wasting dozens of his money gave me a headache. I shrugged and tried not to sound concerned about the news. It’s his money and I have no right to deal with such things.
“Yes and the wealth is also yours now.”
His words at that time were like a terrible devil’s whisper in my mind, I get goosebumps every time I remember his words.
“I don’t really like being pampered that much,” I said honestly.
“You know, Sean gave him The Heart of The Ocean Diamond.”
I glared at Caroline, while Rebecca almost spat out her Moccacino, Caroline just smiled innocently at me. And this topic became an interesting thing to talk about, until Benjamin changed the topic around the gossip that wafted about Caroline who would head a production house in Hollywood, I was relieved by the change of topic. Praise be to Benjamin!
As we were about to leave, Benjamin looked at me while holding my hands. That gaze conveyed his feelings for me that I had never wanted to take seriously. I’m comfortable making friends with him and really, I don’t have feelings for more than just friends with him, sounds cruel but that’s the truth, it’s not that I don’t know about those feelings, but I don’t have the same feelings that he has.
“Ana, if you need anything I’ll always be here, anytime.”
Oh, Ben! Everything we’ve been through together when I was still in my profession was a beautiful thing, he’s the only man who has a close relationship with me, apart from Eden of course. I hugged him and he hugged me back, he was like Ronald in my eyes, a caring big brother.
“I love you, Ben, I’m glad you’re back here.” Those words were sincere from my heart, breaking my embrace and bidding him farewell, I knew he would never have a chance for those feelings. I pondered the whole way but I quickly turned my attention and asked about Caroline’s pregnancy, I’m glad she and my future niece are okay. I gave Caroline a farewell hug as soon as we arrived at the entrance of Century, it was quite a pleasure today to meet my old friends. Mrs. Liam greeted me when I arrived at the apartment he asked me what dinner menu I wanted to eat, and I thought of Khao Pad or as people call it fried rice with mixed seafood. Mrs. Liam smiled and was happy to make one for me, I rushed to my room to change and take a shower, the smell of fried rice aroused my appetite, I rushed into the kitchen and walked over to Mrs. Liam is preparing dinner, I’m sitting at the bar table in this kitchen. The lady offered me avocado juice, she was very dexterous and competent according to Sean’s standards. Thinking of Sean makes me sad, I could have accepted his offer to come with him to Germany so I wouldn’t feel lonely, but I have a job and I don’t think my being there is enough to help him with his work. Me and Mrs. Liam brought up a natural topic, asked how his daughter was doing and she said her eldest daughter wanted to meet me because she idolizes me, I smiled, even after I quit the world that raised my name, I still have fans. I promise to meet him when he has free time maybe, this Saturday or Sunday.
I just hope tonight can pass quickly, I lay in bed after a few minutes spent watching Netflix broadcasts, quite effective because it makes me sleepy. I turned my face to the side of the bed that Sean used to sleep on, I missed him and it felt different when he wasn’t here with me, I exhaled to dispel the melancholy feeling that swept over me, Oh my God! What is wrong with me?? Why am I crying so easily lately?? I closed my eyes to quickly dispel the feeling of tightness inside me that would push me to cry, but I didn’t want to cry, because tomorrow Sean was back with me again.