My confidence is slowly increasing, this is good news at least I gave him something positive.
“But, I may not be able to do the best for him, I’m a new person in his life I don’t know him at all.”
I’m different from Atika, that woman has a history with Sean, she knows Sean better than me.
“You’re worried about your potential, Ana... I think you’ve misjudged yourself, you’re an independent, strong, intelligent and talented woman.”
“But I’m not like Atika who has known him for years, the bond between us is still very fragile.”
This is the main problem, when I feel that I am no match for his damn ex-girlfriend. Doctor Merlin seemed to disagree with my statement.
“Atika knew Sean long before she met you again, they were involved in the same case when they were teenagers, Atika and Sean only had a bond of the same fate and their fragile nature could end at any time, you are Sean’s hope.”
It’s a relief, I don’t think my meeting with Doctor Merlin was a good idea.
“About the nightmares she’s had a lot, I want to know the cause.”
This topic is exhausting, but I’m struggling to stay focused.
“That’s a result of the trauma he experienced, it will stop if he manages to get out of the trauma, it all depends on how you treat him, Sean’s emotions are trying to catch up because his childhood until his teenage years went through bad things, after that he spent his time on a career until he didn’t have time. Thinking about himself, I can see you’ve managed to get him to bond comfortably and voluntarily to you, and that’s progress.”
I smile with this compliment, I am also attached to him, from all the things he has I decided to always be by his side, because I care about all the suffering he has experienced, I want to share many things with him, I don’t want him to feel alone, deserves to be loved, deserves to be loved.
“Is there anything else you want to ask again, Ana?”
I smiled, this time I felt a little relieved and airy this is a very enlightening thing, I shook my head in response to Merlin’s doctor’s question.
“I think that’s enough,” I said with my shy smile.
“I know it’s not easy for you and Sean too, but try to give the best for your relationship, you did well Ana, marriage without problems is not a good thing, problems exist because to teach something, if you can solve it well together your relationship will grow stronger, and Sean needs that, a strong commitment.”
Our question and answer session ended with an enlightening sentence from him, Doctor Merlin got up from his seat to call Sean back to join us.
“Are you guys done?”
Sean asked as he sat down next to me again, he took one of my hands and intertwined our fingers. He looked at me then looked at Merlin’s doctor for an answer.
“Yes, it seems so, I look forward to the next consultation session.” Doctor Merlin smiled.
“Okay I’ll come next week.”
“Not with you but with Ariana,” said the doctor Merlin quickly, Sean looked surprised then he pouted, I smiled happily, I looked at Sean with my ‘you-calm-all-everything-will-alright’ look, he looked at me with an understanding look. We left the doctor’s office Merlin after shaking hands and saying goodbye to the man.
Sean seemed to be talking to Sam before they followed me into the car. Sam was seen wearing a handsfree on his ear as we left Merlin’s house and doctor’s office.
“What did Doctor Merlin say?”
Sean looked curious, I glanced at Sam with a worried look, should we discuss this here??
“Don’t worry, Sam won’t listen to anything.” Sean answered my unspoken question, then Sean called out to Sam but the man didn’t turn until Sean touched one of his shoulders.
“Yes sir??!” he asked and removed one of the handsfree from his ear.
“It’s okay, just continue listening to your music,” he said and I breathed a sigh of relief, Sam put his handsfree back on.
“I think Doctor Merlin likes me.”
Sean looked at me with his piercing gaze, Oh, my God! Does this man understand what I’m saying?? Where’s the smart brain and high IQ??
“I mean, doctor Merlin feels that I’m a positive thing for you,” I explained, and slowly his reaction changed, my senses awarding him a rebuking glare for my inappropriate choice of words, while my Inner Goddess relaxed on her red couch gazing proudly at her manicured nails.
“Yes, I know that, what else?”
He pushed me even more to say it all.
“Doctor Merlin told me everything.”
This session was more than enough to get to know Sean’s problems so far.
“Are you going to leave me?”
My heart jumps into my mouth, can I do it?? Leaving him to face it all alone while he needs me?? My Inner Goddess looked at me with a cruel grin, her gaze sharp she shook her head giving a definite sign. Of course I can’t do that, Merlin’s doctor says I am Sean’s hope, should I be cruel by going and losing his hope?? I think I’ll look more cruel than Hitler.
“Of course not, stop thinking that I will leave you.” I looked at him with my emotional gaze, he looked so fragile like an unwanted child and begging for mercy. I shifted towards him, closing the distance between us and my arms wrapped around his neck.
“We’ll do and get through this together, I promise,” I said with my conviction as strong as Wakanda’s strongest metal, he pressed my lips to his kissing me with all that fear and despair.
“Don’t leave me, Ariana, I’ll give the world under your feet as long as you stay with me.”
A rush of emotions gathered in my throat like a big lump, tears stabbed in the back of my eyes, I tried to give her an ‘we-will-alright’ smile, Doctor Merlin’s words echoed again.
“I know this is not easy for you and Sean too, but try to give the best for your relationship ... Sean needs that, a strong commitment.”
I put my forehead to his forehead while closing my eyes, we will be fine because I love him. I repeated that sentence as my strengthening talisman. The ringing of my cell phone interrupts us, it’s Caroline.