“You are okay??”
My tongue seemed to be cut and my vocal cords seemed to be damaged. Am I okay?? Can I listen and accept more of this?? I know it’s not only this, he once said that he and Atika had been in rehab because of drug addiction.
“I want to sleep,” I whisper, Sean’s arm frees me then I turn to look at him. This man, I love him, I want to give everything for him to make the sadness go away, the dark shadow to go away.
“I’m going back to work, you go to sleep.”
I shook my head.
“You should sleep with me too, I can’t sleep without you.”
My smile must look pathetic by now, Sean nodded then we went to bed. I lay in my favorite position, my head on his chest and his arms around me.
“Do you have someone to share these memories with??”
Maybe he told this to other people, did Aunt Ramia, Rani and his adoptive father know about this??
“I have a psychiatrist, quite helpful with all the healing techniques he has given so far even though it’s not entirely successful,” he said, I think talking about psychiatrists is not stressful, but this topic is the toughest for him.
“You see him often?”
“Quite often, Merlin is the most competent of all.”
“The others? How many are there??” This is something expensive, a psychiatrist is not a cheap thing and he has more than one?? But I think it’s a natural thing.
“Merlin’s five predecessors don’t make me comfortable.” Sean started to relax a little.
“I want to meet Merlin,” I said then shifted my head to one side so I could see him, we stared at each other for a few seconds, Sean looked confused and also considering my wishes.
“If that’s what you want, we can meet him on Saturday, it just so happens to be our schedule.”
I smiled and then returned to my position as before.
“You are everything to me, Ariana, please don’t leave me.”
Leave it?? Am I up to it?? My Inner Goddess woke up from her stupor in a shocked and panicked manner. The thought of Sean not by my side made me feel as if I had been plunged into the lowest and cruelest hell. The center of my universe has shifted to him, if he is not by my side it is tantamount to the apocalypse for me.
“Leaving you is the end for me Sean.” Tears threatened to escape and I strengthened my defenses.
“Perhaps, you will leave me, you are very easy to do.”
Unlucky! This is a vulnerable and cruel discussion.
“No, Ariana, you are my everything, you are my new hope.” His arms tighten around me and pain stabs me. I can’t imagine if Sean left me, he could do it, there are many women who want him out there, there are many women like me out there, I feel like I’m losing my life thinking about it. My defenses collapsed, I cried and Sean calmed me down.
“Hey, don’t cry, Ana.”
I brought my face to the crook of his neck and cried there. I feel weird about myself sounding whiny, but I just want to cry. Fatigue overtook me and my tears turned to sobs one at a time, then slowly I felt better after shedding this shameful whiny attitude.
“You’re crying like a sulky little kid because his candy fell into the gutter.”
I smiled then giggled amusedly, Sean giggled with me, we laughed at my whiny attitude.
“Go to sleep, I don’t want to see you staring at the Colosseum with puffy eyes and a sleep-deprived face like a Zombie.”
I shifted from my position and returned to my pillow, I yawned then Sean turned off the night light that was above his head and left mine still on. I turned my back to him, then he hugged me pressed my back against his front body I closed my eyes enjoying his warm and comfortable embrace. Until I crossed into dreamland.
**
The only thing I could do when the Colosseum was right in front of my eyes was to be stunned. I know, I must be such an idiot right now with that ridiculous facial expression, I dreamed of this so much.
“Are you all right, Ana?”
Sean snapped my daydream with his question, my eyes turned to him then this scene felt complete, the charming Sean and the highly valued Colosseum.
“I want to take your picture.” I grabbed my new camera which was in my small bag after I found my voice to speak.
“You want me to pose?” Sean asked with a cheerful smile I nodded enthusiastically, then he posed like a top male model who was doing a photo shoot with a famous brand. Some people watched us especially women, I rolled my eyes with a frown on my face to see other women glaring at him like a delicious meal, and it really bothered me.
“Enough,” I said then immediately walked over to him and showed me my photo. Actually, I can’t stand to see him become a spectacle of women who seem to want to attack him right now.
“This will be my personal collection,” I said with a proud smile, Sean looked at me with an obscene look.
“What??”
“Do you need to take lots of pictures of me without clothes on?” she whispered.
Oh, boys! The sting of mega watts of passion rattled my lower stomach muscles, my whole body was flushed, it was a ridiculous but wild idea that I didn’t think of, I can’t imagine if I have a photo album of Sean wearing only underwear in that album, I’m like having a porn magazine a person whose star is my husband who is super-super handsome and sexy.
“You’re so kinky, honey, but I don’t need that because my brain is good at storing all your images,” I say and then he kisses me, deep, wild and wet in front of the Colosseum, oh, boy! I’m on fire now.
“Yeah, I like kinky with you,” he admitted as our kiss ended, we gasped for breath, then we continued our walk into the former gladiator arena of that era.
I looked at the arena from the stands, which were quite a lot of visitors today. It’s hard to believe if this arena has ever claimed so many lives, I took some pictures with Sean.
“Ariana.”