CHAPTER 22 Stay
I FILLED MY lungs with salty air before I speak. “Do you really have a relationship with her? I-I mean, since when?” I don’t care if I sound desperate. I just really want to know the truth.
They all looked at me as if my question had confused them. I wasn’t scared to ask him that question, perhaps because I was dizzy after a few straight shots.
His perfect jaw tightened, tugging the corner of his lips frantically.
“What do you want me to answer?” he asked bluntly. His eyes remained dark and shrouded.
I swallowed hard; vision fixed on the ground. He seemed to be slowly eating me because of his dark stare. Everyone became silent, and no one dared to speak.
“Okay, I’ll take the dare,” he rubbed the back of his neck frustratedly and waited for my reply.
“Kiss me,” I bravely said.
Almost everyone was stunned by what I said, but I lit up my chin to show I am serious.
He clenched his jaw tight and lightly shook his head at my remarks.
“What did you say?!” Elliesse exclaimed. Then she turned to Lawrence and glared at him with a warning look.
“No, you can’t, Margaux,” Peter told me, obviously shocked by what I said.
I kept my eyes on Lawrence, who still did not take his eyes off me until he gave up and exhaled violently. “If that’s what you want, then . . .” he mumbled to me.
Before Eliesse could stop him, he crossed the gap between us. He moved closer, bending his two knees at the sand, and kissed me. His lips brushed against mine, yet it was a hot and sweet torrid kiss. His hand stroked my back and drew me in closer.
I feel as if angels have dragged me up to paradise, but I can sense its violent release before it can take me there. I also feel like he let go of everything we had. Everything that happened between the two of us left nothing but pain.
“I hope you’re satisfied,” he softly whispered to my ears and slowly drew away.
Feeling has a ‘run out of gas’ emotionally. Out of sheer resentment, I stood up and, without hesitation, walked away.
“Margaux!” Peter and the others called me, but I did not look back.
I just took a straight step with no direction to go as the abundant tears continued to flow from my eyes.
But there was a strong hold on my arm that prevented me from taking a step.
“What are you doing?” he said. His voice is stiff.
Instead of responding, I removed his hands on my arm, but it was as solid as iron.
“Give me a break!” I screamed angrily, attempting to pull my arms.
“Margaux, let’s talk,” he ordered.
“What else are we going to talk about? It looks like you and Elliesse are okay now. This is really what you want, right? Being jealous of her so that she can come back to you.” I gasped heavily and lifted my chin to continue. “This is my fault, right? I agreed to pretend to be your girlfriend for what? For you to make me look stupid?!” I spat angrily.
“It’s not in my plan.” His voice is softer and gentle. I do not seem to want to refute my allegations.
“Oh, come on, Lawrence, do you have no backup plans?” I violently wiped the tears from my cheeks. He could not speak at that point.
I laughed heartily and violently turned away from him, but he grabbed my arm again and presented me to him with all his might. We exchange look for a moment until he lowered his head down, defeated.
“It wasn’t my plan to-” he stopped talking and sighed.
“Lawrence!” I turned to Elliesse’s voice behind him. However, he was no longer quiet, and his gaze was fixed on mine.
“Rence, what?!” she called again. Lawrence shut his eyes irritably.
“Let’s talk about this later,” he said lowly.
Instead of answering, I pulled my hand he was holding.
“I want to go home,” I said coldly and looked away.
“No, you can’t. You’re not leaving.” His strong disapproval was very evident on his face.
“Yes, I can. I can go alone even if you don’t take me!” I said expressionlessly before leaving him.
I paused for a moment to glance at Elliesse, who just raised an eyebrow at me. I ignored what she did and walked away from that place.
I went straight to my room and cried in my bed. Why do I need to endure this pain? Why do I think this pains me more than that idiot Lester did before?
There are so many questions in the back of my mind, but when I think about it, I have no right to demand from him. I agreed to this setup, and if there is anyone to blame in the end, it’s me.
***
I’M STILL TOO lazy to get out of bed today. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the dresser and think. The sweet smile on my face instantly vanished, leaving just swollen eyes. I put on light makeup and pulled my hair down into a loose curl.
I took out my bag after washing and getting dressed; I want to return home today. But before I could do that, I stayed inside for a few more minutes, allowing my gaze to roam. I sat on the soft bed and caressed it softly.
Heat rushed upon both cheeks. Every detail of what happened to Lawrence and me on this bed was very clear to me.
I shook my head. Was it wrong of me to quickly put my trust in him? All I wanted is someone who can understand me during my weakest point. Someone who will make me feel safe and warm. Someone who will assure me that everything will be alright.
But I cannot demand love and affection. I didn’t know where I was going or when I’d get there. I’m not sure where to begin since I’m not sure how or when it will begin or finish.
Before I could cry, I turned around to open the door, but I was surprised when it opened on its own and spat out the guy of my dreams.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in a toneless voice.
Instead of answering my question, his eyes drifted to my bag, and he looked back at me. “You’re not going anywhere, Margaux,” he said with authority.
“You will not tell me if I leave or not, Mr. Saavedra.” My words were stuttering from my mouth. I would have fallen already if I hadn’t firmly gripped my bag because my knees were shaking. Fuck! Why am I so damn freaking scared?
He shook his head with disbelief. “Please, let’s talk about this first,” he said calmly.
I bit my lower lip and looked away. A few minutes passed between us before I let out a violent breeze from my chest and spoke. “Is it true that you and your ex are back?” I asked silently.
But he did not answer. His jaw just kept on tightening.
“See? You can’t even say anything,” I sarcastically said and stomped towards the door.