"IM SORRY, I know you're having a hard time..." he whispered to me as he freely smelled my hair.
Slowly, I tried to get up but quickly I realize how ditzy I was when I bite my lip to keep me from crying.
"I'm sorry, babe." He repeated his hug with me even tighter.
He also kissed my hair and neck one after another. I want him to stop it, but I don't have enough power to do that, especially what he did next.
He moves his head closer to mine and kisses me tenderly. It was slow and soft, his hand resting below my ears and his thumb caressing my cheek. My brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body.
I could feel him powdering my remaining stability and there was only one way I could think of, to reciprocate the kiss. So I kissed him back without thinking. The kiss was getting deeper, deeper than all the galaxies in the universe.
My tense began to relax, my troubles, my pain began to melt away and the surroundings began to disappear leaving only me and Rexon. This. This is felt true. This felt good. This felt right.
We both chased the breath apart and it was too late for me to notice that I hugged him tightly.
"For the first time in my life, I wanted to claim someone as mine," he bent to kiss my forehead, not wanting the moment to end.
"Rexon, this is insane," I said sharply and pulled away. "I'm not your backup plan!"
I don’t want to think he’s just saying this because of the situation we have. Why? I shuddered at the fact that everything he had told me was not true.
"No, don't say that. You're not my backup plan... And not a second-best," he said, and held me gentle, cupping my face with one hand.
I hesitantly looked up at him and the swirls of emotion I saw there made me gasp.
"I've never felt this kind of pain when I saw the way you looked at her," I smiled bitterly at him before continuing to say, "You don't have to fool yourself, you don't have to feel confused whenever I'm around and pretend you liked me, or even cared about me, because this is not a battle worth fighting, Rex. It's just me, who cared about after all. "
"No wait, listen... I'm not asking you to fight for me. I cared about you! Damn it!" He got up so I did the same.
"Maybe we'd better stop this madness. Because we're just fooling ourselves!" I coldly said. My emotions turned empty and numb.
But when he turned his face to me, I do. I see the pain in those eyes, but there was a big heart wall inside those reddish eyes.
"Tss, I thought you were different." He chuckled and shook his head with disdain.
I was no longer able to speak when he left without saying goodbye. I feel like my conscience has swallowed me up suddenly. I breathe in real slow, my tears seep down my face. It was as if I had been killed a thousand times. I thought then that it was okay for me to be hurt but this is how it feels to hurt the person you love.
Monday morning I was excited to see my Dad. Lara gave me two days off, she said she didn't have work in the next few days so she would take care of Carlson first. But before that, she give me my salary this month.
"Isn't my salary too much compared to the normal salary of a babysitter?" I asked her, with my furrowed eyebrows.
"No, the truth is that Rexon is supposed to pay you. He gave me your salary last night so I decided to just increase it," she explained.
I firmly bit my lip then averted my eyes because of her answer. Lara tilted her head and asked me. "Is there, any problem?" There was a look of astonishment on her face.
"No! What I mean is, this is too much Lara." I shook my head repeatedly.
She quickly took my hand and handed me the envelope. "That's really for you, You deserve to be paid well, Cherry." she sweetly said.
"Thanks for taking care of Carlson, I owed you that much," she added.
I swallowed hard, trying to paint a smile but I couldn't. I looked down at the thick envelope, before shaking again. "I'm just doing my job, Carlson is no different to me," I truthfully said.
"Yeah, I know so enjoy your off, treat your family, relax and have some fun! I'll take care of him the whole day," she cooed and gripped my hand.
Before that, I first gathered air in my chest and faced her. "I wanted to tell you something." I started. She nodded in front of me and waited for me to start.
"I would have liked to resign," I utter, quivering my lips with so much emotion.
She couldn’t speak at first, I knew she was reading my reaction, so I forced a smile on her before opening my lips again. "I have jobs because I can't compromise," I told her under my breath.
She cleared her throat first before opening her mouth to speak. "Can you do me some favor?" she asked me instead.
"Sure, what's that?" I replied timidly.
"Don't be offended, but can you stay here for at least two more weeks? Rexon will have his birthday next week." She shrugged, then suddenly she turned serious. "Because of my busy schedule I might not be able to focus on preparing for a celebration that would have been held here at home," she countered.
I was momentarily stunned, did she seriously ask me that favor? Just because of Rexon's birthday? I lightly shook my head and studied Larabelle's expressions. Hell yeah! She's innocent. She knew nothing of what was going on between Rex and me. I also think she also doesn’t know how Rexon feels about her.
"I'm sorry but I can't," I whispered.
The smile vanished from her face. She was like losing hope based on the reaction she gave me.
"Okay, if you make that decision, I won't force you anymore," she Instantly said. Her lovely face turned into a blue one.
I suddenly felt guilty about it. First, she doesn't know the real reason for resignation. She's been kind to me since I stepped into her house. She also didn't consider me differently. And I suddenly saw her as my older sister even though we were the same age.
"All right, I'll be here until the end of the month. I won't Carlson either," I said and nodded.
Her face turned brightly sweet. "Thank you so much, Cherry!" she exclaimed over the moon. My mouth slightly open mystified when she suddenly hugged me. I finally smiled as I patted her shoulder.