That afternoon, I decided to go to Hector because I needed to ask him something about the case that Don Damien had filed against him. I watched that on the news and even the articles that came out are all about him. He's the big headline today so I thought he might need my help because I'm sure it's only getting worse.
I was just looking at Maureen's table, his secretary, I saw her immediately stand up and seemed even more surprised to see me.
"Ma'am Ana, you're here." She greeted me. My forehead furrowed.
"Ah… Hector knows I'm coming," I replied to her. Her expression became even more confused and she glanced at the door of Hector's
office for a moment.
"Ah, sir is still talking to someone inside, eh," she answered me with her hand so I nodded.
“It's okay, Mau. He knew I was coming. I'm coming in,” I told her directly. I didn't wait for her to answer and left. I knocked for a moment and then went inside.
The cold room greeted me and the voices of two people.
"Did you tell her the truth?"
My forehead furrowed as I heard that familiar voice. I stopped walking for a moment and listened to what the woman had to say next.
“She doesn’t need to know, Ayanna. I have already explained to her what happened to you. That's enough.” Hector's voice seemed sluggish.
What are the two of them talking about?
“But she deserves to know the truth, Hector. You also said that Ana can easily believe anything. I am sure she will believe immediately what you say if you give her an explanation. She's too naïve and innocent for you anyway.”
My chest throbbed when I heard that. I looked for something I could hold on to because I felt like I was going to fall into weakness but I couldn’t find anything so I kept my knees strong. I bit my lower lip and stepped slowly. What is he referring to? What does he mean? What do I need to know?
“Stop saying that to her, Ayanna. You should be thankful I spend time with you last night. I'm not going to lie to her again— ”
“What did you lie to me about, Hector?” I asked him a courageous question before he could go on.
They were both shocked to look at me and quickly stood up, especially Hector. He was about to approach me so I immediately raised my hand in front of him.
"D-don't… you dare," I said trembling.
“Solei...”
“What lies have you told me? What are you talking about? Did you spend the night with her?” I asked him one question after another as I felt my chest gradually tighten.
“Solei, it's not what you think. What you heard is wrong. Let me explain, please,” he begged me so I laughed and turned to Ayanna.
“Is it true that you had a miscarriage? Is that why you cried last night when I saw you?” I asked her. I heard Hector swearing.
Ayanna's expression hardened. When she laughed sarcastically, I had already confirmed the answer. That's what he lied to me about.
“Is this a joke? That is exactly what you told her— ”
"Shut the fuck up, Ayanna!" Hector yelled at her and immediately looked at me. He quickly crossed the gap between the two of us so I quickly backed away as well. Pain is written all over his face.
“Baby, please, listen to me first. I'm sorry… let me explain— ”
“N-no,” I cut him off. "Uh… I'm going home…" I said trembling and I almost covered myself completely when my tears flowed. "I can't… I'm sorry… I can't hear you," I said quickly and ran out of his office.
I ran straight to the elevator before he could catch up with me. I covered my mouth just so that my sobs would not go away because it was so embarrassing. I can’t explain how I feel. All I knew was my desire to get away from this place right away because of the fear and pain I was feeling.
As soon as I got out of the building, I immediately hailed a taxi. As soon as I got into the car, I started shouting and sobbing quietly as I heard my cell phone ring. At the same time, what my daughter had said to me the day before suddenly came to my mind. Her dreams about her father. He was apologizing to me even though I don't know what it was for. Is this the reason why? Is it because he has been lying to me ever since? Of all the things he said, which one was there to lie? Or everything was just pure lies?
I violently pounded my chest because I felt it would explode in extreme pain. I bit my lip hard just to prevent my voice from losing me again.
“Ma'am, are you all right? Where can I take you?” I heard the taxi driver ask me.
I faintly wiped away my tears and looked up at him. "U-Uh… a-at the memorial, sir," I stammered in response to him and covered
my mouth again and there I started to cry.
“It's okay to cry, Ma'am. It will only hurt you more if you keep on resisting. Let the pain go away so that somehow, you can breathe easily.”
When he said that, it triggered my feelings even more so I let out a loud moan inside the car as if I had been hiding it for a long time. And now just come out. I feel like I’m drowning little by little in pain. I feel like I’m being stabbed by millions of knives. I feel like I’m slowly going down like a cigarette because of the pain I’m feeling.
I even believed him last night. I even want to comfort Ayanna because of what I have learned. Because I fully assumed she was really in trouble and in pain. Because that's what Hector told me — it's because I always believed in him, and I never doubted him even though he had let me down before. It's because I fucking love him which I didn't even know why. Because I know the feeling that no one even believes in you — it's deadly, so I don't want him to feel that.
But fuck it! Why is this happening to me again? I can't even find in my mind the reason why he had to lie to me even though he knew very well that I could understand him no matter what else he told me.
Why is he even betraying me?
When I got to the memorial where dad was buried, I stopped crying. But it wasn't long before I fainted again when I saw his name engraved on the tombstone. I fell down and sat there and bent down to catch up with him.
"P-papa… I miss you so much…" I whispered in my trembling voice. “I-I don't know what to do anymore. I'm fighting… I'm fighting because I know you still believe in me and that I can handle it but… b-but it's hard. I-I'm having a hard time. You're the only one who encourages me… y-you're the only one who believes in me… y-you're the only one who can't lie to me… I can't do this anymore!” I cried incessantly.
I want to remove my heart even for a moment so that I don't feel anything at first. Ever since Dad died, I have been alone as I do everything just to get the love of the family he left me. I almost spent my entire life proving myself to them. It hurts me more because, despite everything, they still can’t afford to love me. It hurts me more because I still can't accept that they can consume me like this. It hurts me more because, despite everything they did to me, I still love them dearly.
I was even more hurt by the fact that even though I repeatedly told them that I could understand everything without hesitation, they were still able to lie to me. I feel like they are all fooling me just because of the fact I can easily learn and believe.
I was so exhausted when I decided to go home. I just lit a candle and stayed there for a while before finally leaving. I was not on my own walking out of the memorial when a car suddenly stopped in front of me. Assuming it was Hector, I ignored that and continued walking.
But I was about to have a heart attack when suddenly someone violently grabbed me. Before I could react, the two of them put me in the car. Shit!
“What — wait! Who are you? What will you do to me? Where are you taking me?!” I cried out as my heart almost came out of my body.
I was surrounded by two large men in black masks. They did not answer me so I struggled again.
"What! Who are you?! Where are you taking me — uhmp!”
I felt a pain in my stomach when one of the men suddenly punched me. I immediately felt weak as I writhed in pain.
"Shut your fucking mouth if you don't want to get hurt again." I heard the man say in a voice familiar to me.
I tried opening my eyes again. As I turned my gaze to the passenger seat, my eyes widened when I saw who was there. He smirked as he was wiping a gun.
“A-Ares…” I whispered and completely lost consciousness.