'Actually, now that I'm already this glued, this close to you, maybe you already have some parts of me. If my heart is one of them, I don't know, though.'
'Anyway, you took too long to confront me.'
'And what's certain is that my original attitude has changed a bit now.'
Eva, with many thoughts now swirling inside her head and different words spilling out, stayed silent for a moment, knowing that her fate could truly be decided in this conversation. She pondered over many things and finally spoke.
"I'll give you two choices, Christian."
'If there's even a meaning to these choices, since with your personality, the decision you'll make is probably already set… though I'm not certain.'
"And, as it's always been, you will decide. I'll just go along with whatever you choose."
'Hmm, is that really the truth now? I don't know, but today's outcome is really what you decided, it's just that this time would be a bit different. So, maybe it really is, in the end?'
Christian, unaware of the depth of Eva's current feelings or the story behind each one, saw the smile still lingering on her lips, her expression unchanged. Thinking it couldn't be something too significant, he replied lightly.
And as if on cue, Eva, receiving the green light, finally gave him the ultimatum.
"The first option would be that I won't tell you anything."
"It's just that there's no need to pretend that I'm not Olivia's mother anymore now."
"But, aside from this, I will not confirm anything, nor will I answer any of your questions just based on a theories you've probably already formed in your head."
'Then, what changes?'
Christian now clearly had the word absurdity written all over his expression, and feeling frustrated, he asked Eva, desperate to know what was going on inside her head at the moment, without thinking further.
"Then, what would change with this choice?"
As he still remembered that it was a choice in the end, and he felt like there should at least be something more to it out there.
"Thank you for asking."
"The change is simple. It seems that you didn't try to get information about me at all, through hacking or other means like what you did with that trash math teacher from your school. Maybe it was for my sake? Privacy? Wanting to hear it from me?"
Eva, still smiling innocently, finally dropped the bombshell, and Christian's eyes widened in surprise, but just as quickly, he tried to regain his composure, attempting to return to normal. Inside, however, he was as disoriented as his calm and clueless expression, which he was now failing at badly.
'How much does she know?'
'No, is she actually sure about these things in the first place?'
'Was that why she had not brought up the hacking incident with me ever?'
Christian, despite his awkward social skills, had never felt troubled about them before. He didn't care much about his surroundings or other people, after all, so his emotions rarely fluctuated. But now, in the presence of Eva, with her being this close, he felt like his acting skills, which he had previously praised, were now failing him. Panic began to set in, and he couldn't even register everything else she said after the mention of hacking.
Still, he felt like he should at least say something, to avoid being cornered even further.
"What do you mean, hacking?" Christian asked, his tone betraying the calm he tried so hard to portray.
Eva, still smiling as she watched all the changes in his expression, finally spoke in a soft, almost soothing voice, as if talking to a child.
"Calm down a little first, Christian."
Seeing how he started to take breaths, which were coming toward her face, she noticed that he was calming down, but the panic still lingered, not yet vanishing.
Eva felt a little hurt, as this meant that his trust toward her, unlike his feelings, was really different. But knowing that maybe her behaviors had contributed to this, she pushed those distracting thoughts aside and continued.
"Look, Christian, I'm not trying to confirm anything with you. You're free to admit it, and free to not."
'Well, actually, I already confirmed it from your reactions, but confirming it wasn't my intention anyway.'
'Just some hacking or the like doesn't mean much, but what it represents coming from you is different.'
Eva paused slightly, having some thoughts, still, she continued.
"I'm just saying that, through your means, you are free to do your research freely about me, and our relationship would continue."
"Actually, I want you to look up information about me on your own."
'Maybe you would discover something that even I don't know after all.'
"You are free to look for whatever you want, no matter how small the detail is."
"There's no need to be considerate about my feelings or avoid looking through everything. I'm prepared to be bare before your eyes, in the end."
'I have nothing to hide, after all.'
"As for our relationship."
"I've already said it, but I have never refused any of your advances. Even now, if you said we should go to a hotel right after this."
"I wouldn't have refused you."
"So, despite it seeming like nothing would change with this choice, you at least got to know this piece of information."
'Well, I'm saying this because I know you wouldn't though. And knowing that you still wouldn't take advantage of me in a way I could find uncomfortable, even after everything I've said, is probably the reason why I'm saying this in the first place.'
'If you were the type to do that, our relationship wouldn't have developed to this extent in the first place, after all.'
'So, am I being too unfair?'
'Am I considered to be lying?'
'But if it really comes down to it, maybe I'm really ready, like I said. Anyway, I wouldn't know until you take that step.'
'And with all the steps you've taken, I've always felt ready for a couple more from them. So maybe it's not a lie in the end?'
Eva was having many thoughts, some justifying what she said, some excuses, and others still. But then, suddenly, she remembered something that made her feel a little depressed.
'Christian, I don't know if the idea of selling my body came to your mind.'
'But had it been someone other than you, I wouldn't have come to this point.'
'It's because it's you that I'm willing to go this far.'
'If it were someone else, I wouldn't.'
'Actually, if it really came down to selling myself, I wouldn't have waited for you. I could have tried that long ago.'
'But trying to escape just from one bastard is already hard enough, and because I didn't want that, I'm , trapped in an invincible cage now.'
'Would it really make sense to escape from one, only to run to another?'
'So, Christian, it's because I felt that you were different, not just special, that I'm willing to come this far.'
'even after everything, I said about not revealing anything to you, I'm now hoping tell you this, to explain myself, and for you to know that hurriedly'
'Even after everything I said about not revealing anything to you, I'm now hoping to tell you this, to explain myself, and for you to know it, hurriedly.'
'Have I ever been this contradictory with myself in my life?'
'No, that's why, maybe I have already fallen for you?'
'Is this heart of mine really starting to beat for someone else?'
'As I don't imagine myself unhappy, being your woman.'
Christian, busy with his own thoughts, didn't notice Eva's expression, which seemed indescribable at the moment. He was still panicking at first, hearing everything Eva said, but as he carefully processed her words, he began to feel that something was off.
Even the possibility that there might be a trap out there crossed his mind.
But then, looking at Eva, who was still smiling at him—well, more accurately, had returned to smiling, though he wasn't aware—he noticed their current sitting position. Her legs which were draped above his, seemingly just a step away from being in his lap, then their faces were very close to each other.
Finally, he felt like he was being too paranoid. The level of hacking he had displayed at school previously was by no means something very rare.
At the country level, such a skill was still fairly common, so for someone like him, did Eva really need to get this close just to try and trap him?
Was he really worth that much?
He didn't think so, at least from an outside perspective, also, while he wasn't sure about the image thing, Eva said, he had of her in his mind, but, after more than a month together, he felt that he was overthinking and that she wouldn't do something .