His Break-up
Jacob
“I am sorry, Jacob. I am not sure what got over me at school.” Sadie, my girlfriend, says to me while leaning into my body. She knows I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable. But I won’t say anything right now. It will create another argument right here.
I am beginning to regret being with her and I am tired of her apologies. Every other day, she creates some new big drama. She seemed really sweet when I started dating her. But now I can see how controlling and possessive she is... Today she started an argument with my project partner, saying she was trying to flirt with me. I had to pull her away when I saw Sadie trying to hit her.
It’s her birthday today, so I am not in the mood to upset her. I drink my beer to smother the unbearable dread I am feeling right now. I understand it’s difficult for her too. But I won’t sleep with her, just because she is pressuring me.
“I haven’t gotten my kiss today,” she whispers in my ear, looping her arms around my neck. Then plants her lips on mine.
I enjoyed kissing and holding her before. But it changed when she started showing her true colors. It’s difficult for me to ignore personality. She still tries to keep her facade up, but her real nature is too loud to ignore.
I am kissing her back just for the sake of it. I wonder if she can sense that I am not into her anymore.
“Hey, you guys! Stop PDA and get a room!”
One of her friends yells at us. Sadie laughs and pulls me with her into her bedroom.
I have to break up with her. Everything is not her fault alone. Yes, I am tired of her drama and fights. But I also feel bad for disappointing her again and again. I hate it when she asks if she is not beautiful enough. If that’s why I won’t have sex with her.
“Wait here. I will grab some more drinks,” she says going out.
“I won’t take any... am kinda drunk already.” I tell her. I am surprised how she managed to get beer for this party. We are barely sixteen, for God’s sake. It’s nice to have it once in a while though.
She waves me off. “One more. Come on!!!” and goes out.
I sigh and lay in her bed, closing my eyes. After a while, I hear her coming back and calling my name.
I mumble with my eyes closed, “Let me sleep for a while... I am too drunk...”
She lays next to me. I spoon her and fall asleep.
......
I am still half asleep but I am feeling uncomfortable and slimy. Something is wrong.
I am not sure if it’s sleep paralysis or what, but I am trying to wake up.. I am feeling something, but I don’t want to believe it. When I force myself to open my eyes. I feel disgusted and dirty to I see what Sadie is doing.
Sadie is naked and has undone my pants and is trying to stroke and suck me. I am shocked and speechless for a moment but I bark at her, “SADIE!!!”
I pull myself away and get out of the bed.
“You are a liar, Jacob! If you weren’t into sex, why would you be so hard?”
I look at her in disbelief while buttoning my pants. “That’s how a body works ... That doesn’t mean you can try it without my fucking consent!!!”
I want to yell at her at the top of my lungs. I am seething and want to punch her face.
I start pacing out of the house towards my car. Party is over and everyone is gone.
Oh God, why did I come here today? Her drama at school today should have been the last straw. If I had taken a stand today, this wouldn’t have happened.
Sadie is following me outside. “I am sorry Jacob... Please don’t go. That was stupid of me to try. But believe me… You will feel good if you let me touch you.”
“Stop Sadie! I am fucking repulsed by you. Just STOP!!”
I get inside my car and she stands there with a sheet wrapped around, watching me. I can’t even look at her face right now.
“It’s fucking over,” I tell her and drive away.
After reaching home, I take a shower. I want to burn myself with scalding hot water. Anything to I want to feel normal. I am feeling so much disgust and revulsion within myself.
Fuck.
Never again.
Never again I will let anyone get close to me unless I want it.
No more, let’s try and see if it works shit!
I am better alone.