Chapter 39: Can I Reach Your Heart? (Part 2)
I was surprised when he said that, even though I'm not a perceptive person, I'm not foolish enough not to realize what he meant. Roy looked at me for a long time, his gaze always gentle and affectionate, a look that I once mistakenly thought he reserved for me as a friend.
But perhaps I was wrong. Is he confessing his feelings to me?
I couldn't help but smile awkwardly and said:
"Are you okay, Roy? This is not something to joke about. It's not amusing at all if you're just kidding like that."
Roy replied decisively without hesitation, his gaze more determined as he looked at me:
"I'm not joking, and everything I say is sincere. Flora, you might not have realized that I've always loved you. Did you think that everything I've done so far was because I see you as a friend?"
Indeed, I had thought that Roy treated me well because he saw me as a friend. Although there were times when I felt his help went beyond friendship, I didn't pay too much attention to it.
"Why... why are you suddenly saying these things to me?" I asked, trying to maintain some composure and lessen the embarrassment.
Roy chuckled softly:
"I love you. I love Rollo. I love the time we spend together. I love your strong and resilient personality. I love how you treat me. I love your enthusiasm. I worry when you cry. I'm afraid you'll go back to that terrible person. I don't want to be away from you. I love every moment I spend with you. I love the food you cook. I love the sight of you deep in thought while reading. I love your flustered and busy appearance when you take care of Rollo."
I was so astonished that I didn't know what to say to Roy. I stood speechless and utterly surprised by his words.
Roy didn't let me interrupt and continued:
"I like the feeling of everyone calling us a couple. I like how people see us as a family. I know they misunderstand everything and realize that your feelings for me aren't the same as my feelings for you. I know you only see me as a friend... But Flora, can you give me a chance to warm your heart?"
Roy looked at me with an earnest, pleading gaze. At this moment, he was no different from a lovesick person, begging for love from me, which left me bewildered and flustered.
No one had ever spoken to me like this, or looked at me the way Roy did. Does he really love me this much?
"Can... can you truly love me this much?" I felt like this was incredibly surreal, like a dream.
Roy nodded, saying:
"Today, I don't love you as much as I will tomorrow, or in three years... I've been waiting for you to look at me again and realize that everything I've done has been because I love you."
"But..."
Roy placed his index finger on my lips to stop my words. He said:
"Flora, don't say anything. I know this is sudden for you, but... I'm afraid that if I keep holding onto these feelings for you, I'll die."
I don't speak, I just listen quietly to what he says. In truth, I don't know how to respond to Roy. For a long time, I've lost faith in love and marital life because I've been broken before, and I've been hurt too much.
Although the scars of those heartaches have turned into wounds, no one will know that if I open my heart again, it won't be hurt. I'm afraid... of being hurt once more. If Roy says that he'll die if he doesn't express his feelings to me, I feel the same way. If I open my heart again and get hurt, I will die too.
Before marrying me, Enzo was also very kind to me.
I dare to apologize to Roy because Roy is too good. I don't want to hurt a good man like Roy, but I'm also afraid of having to meet Roy's expectations.
However, Roy doesn't force me. He says:
"Flora, don't worry, don't overthink this. You don't need to do anything. I will always pursue you until you love me too."
"I'm sure you're afraid of the things I've said, because someone terrible like Enzo killed your trust in love. I won't make you love me, I'll never let go of you, and I'll never stop loving you."
After hearing Roy's words, tears suddenly fall from my eyes unconsciously. He knows... he knows... Roy knows I've lost faith in love and he isn't pressuring me to answer him.
I never expected that there would be a good man like him in this world, and I never expected that this good man would be right by my side. It's just regrettable that I didn't meet him sooner, and by the time I met Roy, I had already suffered too much to accept anyone else.
In the living room, aside from the TV's sound, there is silence. I bow my head in silence. He's still looking at me, but he doesn't say anything, just quietly takes a handkerchief to wipe away the tears from my face.
Time seems to stand still for a moment, and I feel that this moment is longer than usual.
Finally, I can't stay silent any longer. I say:
"Roy, you're so kind. Why would you love someone ordinary like me? I'm not as good as you think."
Roy smiles, his smile is very warm:
"Because I'm even more ordinary, so in my eyes, Flora is the most beautiful treasure. You're like a gem that I'm afraid will melt in my mouth."
"A treasure? Impossible. I've always been a failure and miserable since birth. I'm not worthy of your affection." I shake my head, not wanting to believe what he says.
Roy still smiles, his smile and gaze are so warm that I can't face them.
"If you call yourself ordinary, then I'm even more ordinary, if you're a failure, I'm a failure and perhaps even more so. You might think of yourself that way, but in my eyes, you're the most amazing person."
"I don't care if you still love Enzo, I don't care if Rollo is Enzo's son. I don't care how you feel about me. I only know one thing: I love you, and this one-sided feeling has lasted for three years."
"You can reject it, but please give me a chance to make your wounded heart tremble again, can you?"
I purse my lips, silently staring at him for a long time, not knowing what made me nod in agreement.